How to get rid of obsessive thoughts and doubts (you-you). How to get rid of doubts (SI) How to get rid of doubts in

They say that doubt is a sign of a developed intellect and a rich imagination. We doubt the correctness of actions when we realize the multivariate development of events. And what to do if doubts immobilize and become torments?

“To be or not to be, that is the question. Is it worthy to endure the disgrace of fate without a murmur. Do you need to resist? Rise up, arm yourself, conquer. Or die, die, sleep? - such doubts tormented Hamlet, the hero of Shakespeare's tragedy. The agony of doubt is familiar to everyone. And this, indeed, is the real torment that poisons our lives.

Doubting, we mentally play out different scenarios for the development of events in this or that case, consult with friends and relatives, spend an incredible amount of mental strength and energy, and in the end we feel devastation that does not allow us to rejoice, even if the result lives up to expectations. As the Italian writer Silvio Pellico wrote, "... who loves to delve into doubts, deprives his soul of strength."

A person who gives vent to doubts, as a result, generally loses the ability to make a decision, because it involves responsibility, which eternally doubting people try to avoid. They prefer not to express, refer to someone else's or avoid answering.

But to order yourself not to doubt and follow the advice “if you are thinking about whether to do or not to do it, it’s better not to do it” is also not an option. The English writer Gilbert K. Chesterton remarked ironically that "only materialists and madmen know no doubts." And the Austrian diplomat Sh.-Zh. de Ligne said about this: "There are two kinds of fools: some do not doubt anything, others doubt everything."

There is another point of view on doubt, according to which it is a great shortcoming, weakness, and even a sin. Doubts serve as a brake on a person's path to development and perfection. They talk about the weakness of his mind, incapable of adequate analysis, decision-making and implementation. “A mind that doubts is fruitless and ineffective”, “A doubting person can be called a loser”, “Doubts debilitate, take away vital energy”, “The worm of doubt gnaws at him” - such harsh statements accompany people who are prone to prolonged reflection and hesitation in solving life problems.

Doubts are conventionally divided into positive and negative. The presence of positive is understandable and justified. For example, we have the opportunity to open a pharmacy in our area, but we doubt it, because there are already plenty of them here. The wrong decision will lead to the fact that instead of the expected profit, we will receive losses.

Another thing is if our doubts are caused by and. These are negative doubts, the result of which is the rejection of plans, the opportunity to realize oneself, and maybe even a better future. William Shakespeare called such doubts traitors, because: "... they deprive us of the good that we often could have acquired."

What makes us doubt

1 . There is an opinion that doubt - a state of uncertainty when we hesitate to make a judgment, to make a final choice - It is inherent in a person from the very beginning and is closely connected with the instinct of self-preservation.

After all, when we make a decision, we take risks. Doubt tells us that something is going or could go wrong. Our mind is not able to capture all the factors that can change the course of events and influence the outcome of a case. Some new insignificant detail, suddenly arising circumstances that cannot be foreseen, can interfere with our well-planned actions and cause big problems. As the famous Agatha Christie said, “There are always doubts, in everything. Suddenly, some factor that cannot be taken into account may appear and it will overturn the apple cart.”

2. Lack of necessary knowledge, ability to analyze, low self-esteem and self-doubt also give rise to doubt. They are inherent in people who consider themselves eternal losers and therefore set themselves up for a negative result in advance. They explain their doubts with standard phrases: “Not with my happiness ...”, “I still won’t succeed”, “I’m unlucky”.

Their long thoughts and hesitations, because "they both want and prick", usually end with a retreat without an attempt to test themselves. It is curious that people believe in a negative outcome of a case and negative statements much more readily than in positive ones.

3. “What will people think? What if they don't approve?". A person cannot make a choice because he is torn apart by doubts: he wants what, in his opinion, colleagues, friends, parents will condemn.

Divorce your wife or husband? Life has become unbearable, there is darkness ahead without any hope of improving relations. I'm stuck in a loop. But what about obligations, responsibilities? No one will understand, everyone will turn away.

I made a mistake in choosing a specialty, I want to change jobs - what are you, a fool? Where else will you be paid so much? What will we live on? Doubts of this kind are so exhausting that a person prefers to leave everything as it is.

The motto of people who have the habit of chewing the same thoughts a hundred times should be the words: “If you are afraid, don’t do it, if you do it, don’t be afraid, if you did it, don’t regret it.”

3. Morning is wiser than evening

“Go to sleep, rest; The morning is wiser than the evening!"- we remember this phrase well from children's fairy tales. Its meaning is that you don’t need to look for a way out of a predicament at night and solve important problems. Fatigue and nervous tension accumulated during the day will interfere with an adequate assessment of the situation. Sometimes what we unsuccessfully struggle with in the evening is easily resolved in the morning, when strength is restored.

4. Be positive

Constantly doubting people almost always regret the decision made, whatever it may be, and mentally play the same situation several times, engage in self-discipline, wasting their time, strength and vitality. But there is an opinion that doubts haunt precisely those people who have too little such energy.

But we're not our own enemy, are we? Therefore, we live here and now, forget about our past and other people's negative experience and concentrate on the positive, look for and fill life with positive emotions that will block the possible negative.

5. Do nothing

If we cannot make a choice, we will try to forget about its necessity for a while. And one day the decision will come to us by itself - we suddenly clearly realize what we want.

how to get rid of doubt

Fedotov Alexander Borisovich……………………………………………………………………2

Please read carefully………………………………………………………………………….…..3

Introduction………………………………………………………………………………………….…...3

Chapter I: Mirror effect or everything has two sides…………………….……..4

YES and NO their balance ……………………………………………………………………………..11

How Doubt Flows………………………………………………………………………..…18

Where are you, in a dense forest or on a mountain……………………………………………………………...31

Chapter II: It all starts with emotions …………………………………………………………..….39

Stage #1: Momentary Doubt …………………………………………………………….…..44

Stage 2: Audio, kinesthetic, visual, doubt ………………………….……...53

Stage №3: Calculation of doubt ……………………………………………………………………….…58

Stage 4: Doubt by time……………………………………………………………….…..61

Rules of the game without a doubt……………………………………………………………………………..64

Chapter III: The Theory of Five ……………………………………………………………………….……74

Part One: Source……………………………………………………………………………....74

Part Two: Priority ………………………………………………………………………….…81

Part Three: Morality……………………………………………………………………….….…..86

Part Four: Logic………………………………………………………………………………90

Part Five: Idea………………………………………………………………………………..….94

Chapter IV: Signals………………………………………………………………………………...101

In place of the epilogue …………………………………………………………………………….……...103

Literature ……………………………………………………………………………………….....105

how to get rid of doubt

I met Maxim in 2012. My nephew was studying at that time in Omsk

college of transport construction. He told me that a guy came to them and

He talked about the fact that in life you can achieve everything, the main thing is not to be lazy. believe in success and

everything will work out. This episode intrigued me. I asked my nephew for his number. At that

I have been running my own business for about a year and it was interesting for me to meet with

man,

promoted

Some time later we met. I remember the first impression of Maxim. High

height, strong physique, good looks, knows how to present himself. At the first meeting immediately

it became clear that Maxim was well versed in psychology and that he was an interesting conversationalist.

He told me that he was writing a book. Finally she comes out, looking forward to the exit in

circulation. I know Maxim as a versatile person. I think the book will be very useful and

interesting.

Fedotov Alexander Borisovich

General Director of the Company: "Konstanta"

Read carefully

No matter how you read the book

what matters is how you understand it.

A. Schweitzer

For the best memorization of this book and the text. I would like to tell you a little

a secret that I use when I read myself. Everything, as always, is simple, and necessary

no need to complicate things at all. I understand that some will not be difficult to read,

the whole book and even memorize it. Some need a long read where they're after

remember everything, but do not use knowledge in their lives. It just so happened to get

knowledge in our information age is possible by pressing a key on the keyboard and here we have

A world full of negative and positive information has opened up. I bring to your attention

how to get rid of doubt

your passage to these things:

1) It is necessary to quickly look through the entire book, with a quick glance and roughly imagine

what is being said and what information is contained in it.

2) Determine how long it will take you, and how you will use the information and

the knowledge that is in it. It is advisable to allocate time for reading it 1-2 hours a day.

day, if you do not have a specific schedule for working with books.

3) Think about what you know about the book or the information and experiences it contains. By

imagine a picture of what is happening from your experience.

4) Decide what answers you would like to read from this book and take

weapons, further studying them.

5) Read first, all headings, tables of contents, subsections, figures, whatever

may interest you. Sometimes when you need information just by reading it,

doing all of the above. This can give you 80 to 90% of the result that you

fix in your memory for a very long time. You only have to

6) When you are already reading, your brain has fixed right places and after reading having reached

until the end of your head, you will already know exactly how and what I wanted to show you. It's a lot

simplifies the time spent thinking and reading. Do not forget

only after reading the next chapter, wait a little, about a minute, to

the brain has fixed your understanding of where the information will enter your lexicon.

7) The next step will be that you do not need to spend time thinking

information in the chapter, you already know and understand what you need to know.

View all the drawings and just relax.

8) If you are still where, then you didn’t figure it out in the initial stages. Then after reading

chapters, take it and read it again, but only those moments where you didn’t understand anything. And

repeat the steps.

And I ask you to do everything simply and easily, reading a book to feel more confident than anything.

do not contradict, and set goals for yourself at the very beginning. The difference between super

reading and just reading. It is concluded that it is not necessary to know 100%,

be sure to apply and say everything that was in the book in five minutes using your

warning system (lexicon). Knowing right question and approximate answers, brain

activity can itself answer all questions, naturally some help in

reflection will be required. And that help is provided in this book.

Introduction

At the beginning, there is information

and then the thought.

The reader is always eager to learn about the position of the author.

C. Rogers

Maxim - at school he did not differ in special skills, an ordinary Russian boy. He

He constantly argued with his friends, but he was always wrong. He often suffered because of this.

and couldn't figure out why. He always chose the wrong choice of two

possible, and they considered Maxim stupid: he still continues to argue with everyone and does not

once, did not win the argument, which speaks of his mediocrity! Everyone laughed at him, of course, except

Maxim himself. One day, a young man, much older than Maxim, who constantly

saw disputes, decided to talk to him and, once, took him to a conversation, explained to him that he

Our doubts often paralyze our actions, so everyone wants to know how to get rid of self doubt. Basically, all doubts are associated with fear, laziness, insecurity, lack of meaning in life and true purpose. When a person knows what he wants, he begins to act, not paying attention to any doubts. Psychologists have prepared for you a number of effective and proven methods that will help you get rid of doubt and start living happily.

Why and why do you doubt

Main reason for doubt in itself, it is not awareness and lack of logical thinking. Anyone who wants to understand how to get rid of self-doubt must begin to think and realize where this doubt came from and why. Thinking and conscious people are beyond doubt, because they know what they want and act, despite uncertainty, fear and laziness. Just take a break from the whole outer world for at least a few hours, and immerse yourself in your inner world. Ask questions to your subconscious mind and start thinking right.

Is it worth fighting insecurity and laziness

Psychologists have studied and proved that if he wants to overcome insecurity and laziness, just for the sake of becoming bold and self-confident, he will not succeed. Because having become confident and courageous without special goals and meaning of life, a person will return to his uncertain life filled with laziness and suffering. You don’t need to fight laziness and insecurity, you just need to find your purpose in life, meaning and mission, and then everything unnecessary will leave your life.

Find your favorite thing

To, you need to find your favorite job. Because constantly going to an unloved job, performing uninteresting and boring duties, will lead to doubts, insecurity, fears and loss of meaning in life. You need to enjoy life and be happy not only on weekends, but also in the workplace. You either need to find new job, your favorite thing, business, or find something at your current job that will light your fire of joy and happiness. Live your life with meaning, happiness and joy.

Overcome the fear

Many people today live with fear and cannot find magical methods to get rid of this fear. The whole problem is that these magical methods do not exist, you and only you are able to overcome your fear. Start doing everything that you are afraid of and then fear will leave you, there are no other methods that will save you forever from all fears, because fears constantly appear in our lives.

Change your mind, think positive

Those who have not yet realized his thoughts continue to live unconsciously, not knowing what will happen to them tomorrow and in the future. We need to live in the present, but dream and think about the future, since we ourselves create everything that surrounds us and ourselves. Who you are now and what surrounds you is the result of your past thoughts. Those who say that they did not think about it, simply lived unconsciously and did not know how to control their thinking and thoughts. They became slaves to their thoughts and went with the flow without resisting or trying to change anything.

If you want to get rid of doubt in yourself, start think right and positively. It doesn't matter what happens in your material life, what matters is how and what you think about. Change your way of thinking, be more cheerful and confident.

Engage in self-hypnosis, every day reinforce yourself with thoughts that you are already confident in yourself and become more confident every minute. Soon you yourself will realize the power of thought and the fact that it creates our reality, us and those around us.

Good afternoon, dear editor!

I am your reader for a short time, more than a month. But we can conclude that the content of the site High Quality, starting with texts and ending with selections of photos of girls.) Thank you!

I am writing to you with a question for help here on what occasion.
The question is related to a career, with the decision to move further up the stairs leading to good things.)
I am 26 years old, I graduated from the "kerosene" in a good specialty. After graduating from the university, I was invited to a good salary in a production office building gas pipelines. After working for two years, he moved to the Research Institute, a subsidiary of a large Russian energy company. The work brought satisfaction, I am engaged in solving interesting problems, I also began to write a PhD thesis.
But a couple of months ago I was invited to the administration of the parent organization for a higher salary.

Everything seems to be obvious - take it and agree. But something is holding me back ... Either I'm a coward, or I'm not sure of myself ...

On the one hand, work in a scientific research institute with a good and stable salary, a quiet work schedule conducive to writing a dissertation, but with prerequisite closure of R & D contracts and without much further prospects.

On the other hand, work in the administration of one of the largest energy companies in Russia, with an excellent salary and bonuses, but, accordingly, with heavy workloads, with constant delays until the night and less free time for writing a candidate's thesis.

How to get rid of doubts, stop worrying and live in a buzz?
Although you can’t get away from the worries and doubts that have accompanied me since birth…

Answer

We are glad to welcome you, dear friend, to the large and friendly BroDude family. As they say, welcome to the club! Thank you for the flattering assessment, and in no case be modest. A month is a long time. Exactly in a month, my close friend fell in love and turned sour, like vomit in the fresh air. From a friendly guy turned into a pathetic human likeness. But he gave great expectations. I literally loved him like a brother. And since this transformation happened to him in a month, then we will try to reason with you in exactly a few minutes. I don’t know what your reading technique is, but I think this time should be enough, because by and large there is nothing to think about.

You are absolutely right when you say you can't get away from it. It is normal to doubt every step. Perhaps doubts make you slow down a little bit in direct life, but, having figured out the problem, you have an advantage. Even behind the mountains of gold, you can’t run headlong, American citizens who rested in the Californian mines during the Gold Rush are proof of this.

And it is very correct that before moving on to the next step, you think about “whether your body can withstand it all.” There is nothing wrong with doubts, it is better to spend time thinking before than to regret later, choking on tons of hateful coffee, sitting in the office at night. You will live in a high only when all your hidden thoughts and dreams come true, or you earn enough money that you will be able to buy yourself Slovakia, 414 Malaysian pavement dancers and hire BroDude authors as personal clerks. But for this you need to work.

You are 26 - no longer a boy. Apparently, you are not one of those whiny garcons who finished the "kerosene" just because your parents said. You know the profession. But in this area, you know, you can achieve unprecedented heights in order to provide yourself with that very “high life”, like Max Korzh, when you can do nothing, but still allow yourself a lot. And for this you need to plow. It is clear that there will be no personal time, as well as justice in the world. Believe me, this is not the worst victim. There are worse ones. And in general, getting something good, sooner or later you have to give something in return. Someone gives a kidney to pay off a loan, someone cuts off a leg to escape from the trap of a maniac-psychopath of questionable appearance, someone gives his innocence to a producer to become a famous singer. You only need to donate time. You now have a comfortable quiet job, but sooner or later in life you need to change something. Therefore, decide on these damned changes so as not to regret later. Suddenly there will be no more such proposals?

And then, the next time you think about whether to take the next step or stay in the familiar but sweet swamp, remember your dreams and goals. If the aspirations are great, then it will have to be done, despite the dire consequences. If not, then there is nothing to say, you yourself know everything. But remember the phrase of Dumas father: “The dreams that are not in doubt are most easily realized.”

Last update: 06/11/2013

Uncertainty and doubt are an integral part of every person's life. However, these phenomena can be overcome.

You have probably heard the phrase: "The only stable feeling in life is doubt." The fact that unexpected events and changes often occur in life is not necessarily a bad circumstance.

This is the reality that life itself presents to us. And it is she who helps us become stronger.

Life's challenges and periods of doubt are integral parts of our lives that contribute to the development of consciousness, says Joyce Marter, a psychotherapist and author of numerous practical recommendations.

But for many of us, doubts bring a lot of inconvenience. This is especially true in cases where the situation is important to us and we become dependent on a specific result, says Tom Corboy, founder and Executive Director Los Angeles Medical Center.

For example, you may feel uncomfortable and doubtful when your romantic relationship is in trouble or there is a threat that you will lose your job. Because doubts are uncomfortable, many of us try to manage them or get rid of them altogether. Doctors regularly observe such symptoms in patients who are trying to cope with doubts.

For example, when a person is compulsively forced to wash his hands, he really begins to doubt that they are clean. If someone experiences a panic fear of flying in an airplane, he tries to cope with his discomfort and doubts that the trip will be uneventful.

In fact, compulsive behavior provides only temporary peace of mind while avoiding certain circumstances and reinforces doubt. Simulation of the situation increases the initial fear, which gradually takes over the human consciousness. To understand whether you have an anxiety disorder or not, you can analyze the ways in which you are trying to cope with constant doubts.

And yet it is quite possible to overcome doubts. Here are the most effective ways:

Get rid of stereotypes

“If we live according to the principle that everything should happen according to a certain scenario, it will not be possible to avoid endless disappointment,” says Corboy, co-author of the book “ Tutorial for the development of Mindfulness. Can you not try to predict how things should happen? Can you accept other possibilities or outcomes?

Working Through Anxious Thoughts

Cognitive restructuring is a powerful way to gain confidence. “The main idea is not to blindly accept negative thoughts, which are so easy to succumb to, but to develop the ability to resist them,” says Corboy.

For example, if the thought “doubts are unacceptable” arises, it should be replaced with a more constructive one: “doubts may occur, but this is acceptable and tolerable.” If the thought “I can’t deal with doubts” arises, replace it with the thesis: “I’m not very worried about the cause of doubts, but I can handle them.”

accept doubt

"For some people, the idea of ​​accepting the discomfort of doubt is unacceptable and they don't even try," Corboy said. He suggested developing the skills to analyze any doubts in order to learn how to manage them. For example, developing mindfulness can help a person deal with uncomfortable feelings calmly. Using the methods of analysis, you can learn to live with the feeling of insecurity and gain confidence that it is really within your power.

Marter suggested drawing on the work of Eckhart Toll to gain confidence in any situation. When we have firm convictions, our thoughts will not be disturbed by any doubts. The psychologist created a patient manual a little before he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He believes that the confidence in a good outcome is what helped him during the first grueling weeks after being diagnosed and starting treatment. It seems incredible, but a year later he still shares the beliefs of Eckhart Toll.

Read the Serenity Prayer

Use the power of the Serenity Prayer, Marter advises. Make a list of what you can do and follow those steps. Also, be aware of the things you can't do and visualize what you want to achieve.

Take an active position

"When doubts start to creep in, the most important thing is to challenge any behavior that drives your discomfort," says Corboy. This means flying if it causes fear or not washing your hands if you're worried they might have germs on them.

Allow yourself to feel insecure and continue to live as if nothing had happened. At first, you may feel extremely uncomfortable, but over time you will get used to this feeling.

Try Therapy

Therapy can be a huge help for someone who has occasional doubts and worries. Corboy suggested the use of therapy, which is based on the idea that by trying to eliminate our discomfort, which is a natural part of life, we only increase it. From a medical point of view, when we are faced with the problem of doubt, the goal is to accept the problem, and decide, in spite of them, to act according to our personal values.