How to build communication with the leader. How to build a relationship with the boss - be smarter than the head of the tyrant

How to talk with the boss and what types of leaders are there? Knowing your type of leader will help you build a healthier and more productive relationship with your partner. immediate supervisor. The types of "difficult bosses" are described below, as well as some recommendations for the correct construction of a strategy for dealing with them.

First of all, "difficult" leaders share a few common characteristics. Firstly, even if you personally did not have a relationship with your boss, this does not mean that your boss is from the “difficult” category. Maybe you just don't get along. The fact that the "boss is an asshole" should be firmly convinced not only by you, but also by the majority of employees subordinate to him. Secondly: such bosses are very constant in their "difficult" behavior. They have a rigidly fixed style - this is their original "set of kookies", unique distinguishing features that they use to control others. Such chefs are literally obsessed with their style of behavior. Therefore, their subordinates know in advance what they are going to do - even before they do it. Thirdly: communication with such leaders takes a lot of strength and nerves from their employees. Fourth, the energy expended by employees in dealing with them usually does not correspond to the importance of the problem being considered. And finally, any of these bosses can be either male or female.

Types of "difficult" leaders

1. "Mafiosi" ("bull")- a classic character in jokes and gangster television series. It looks like a boxer, wrestler or criminal. A shaved head or a short haircut, a “bull neck”, “a golden chain on an oak tree…” Not tormented by education - a vocational school or a technical school. He loves simple types of business that do not require a large number of brain convolutions (market, gas station, car service, parking lot). Specific primitive speech with a large number of words that are not translated into foreign languages. He drinks a lot (expensive cognac, whiskey, vodka), smokes, sometimes uses drugs. He drives a jeep, lives in a mansion or a cottage, loves gambling. He likes to "relax" on vacation abroad or "with girls" in an expensive nightclub. Likes to speak loudly cell phone on the beach: “Well, I have everything under control there, I have three companies, I put young guys with diplomas as directors, I bought a tax office ...”. Usually optional in negotiations and business contacts, deceives when he is confident in the "roof". In working with personnel, complete "chaos" reigns and low pay labor. Divides people into those who are stronger and weaker than him. He is afraid of the first and despises the second. Disregard for all who are weaker than him, who agree with him and yield to him - characteristic such a person. Often feels the desire to publicly humiliate, suppress his subordinates. Feels the greater anger and desire to humiliate, the more helpless and weak the victim looks.

2. "New Russian"- v last years he greatly pressed the previous type of bosses. Most often young, about 30 years old, educated, very rich. The origin of the condition is not advertised, most often financial fraud with the bank or the use of budgetary funds. Higher education- economic, legal, sometimes technical. He does not suffer from deep spiritual anguish. No problems with public morals or corporate ethics. Ready to "walk over corpses" without hesitation. Deeply despises all who are below him on the social ladder, but outwardly observes the limits of decency. An introvert (closed personality), in communication with subordinates usually does not show emotions. Looks in a conversation to the side or through a person. If the topic or interlocutors are not interesting to him, then he is ready to end the conversation in 3-5 minutes (“hard style”). He is always well dressed, maintains excellent physical shape, does not drink alcohol or in small quantities, interest in women (men) is moderate. Prefers to hire highly qualified personnel (lawyer, accountant, manager). It pays very well, but in the case of "punctures" - kicks out without hesitation.

3. "Authority"- an imperious, strong leader of an authoritarian style, does not tolerate objections. This is the image of a “red director”, a traditional Soviet leader: strict, solid, experienced, responsible and knowledgeable of the “real economy of the country”. His formation as a leader was connected with party and economic work. Therefore, I got used to servility and hierarchy. Subordinates who do not want to look at him "from the bottom up" cause an aggressive reaction, because they break his ideas about what should be. Lives by the proverb "the boss is always right." Can quickly fire a recalcitrant, even his closest assistant. In general, he is reluctant to let people who are not part of his inner circle come close to him.

Outwardly, he seems to be a rustic and even masculine person, not inclined to reflection. But this is not always the case. He drinks a lot, likes to eat well and the company of women after work. It has an extraordinary will and powerful energy. The need for power and control over people is highly developed. Referring to subordinates as “you” (an old habit of Soviet and party leaders) From subordinates, he expects not so much approval and admiration for his person as unquestioning execution of orders

In communication with subordinates, he is cruel, but open and ready to listen to arguments expressed in the proper form. Quickly makes decisions that are not always justified and fair, “cuts off the shoulder”. V modern business poorly mastered - this is a disappearing type of leader. Sooner or later, it loses in competition to the “new Russians”. With his departure from the enterprise, an entire era ends, and this is always painful, but he is remembered in the team as a good “red director”.

4. "Napoleon"- usually (but not always) small in stature, nondescript appearance, a lot of complexes. The level of intelligence is most often average (“there are not enough stars from the sky”). Strive for power to heal their psychological trauma. Since childhood, I felt my inferiority: the girls did not pay attention, the guys beat, the adults humiliated, I had to constantly catch up with the “lucky ones”. Over time, the desire to overcome his shortcomings acquired the character of hypercompensation, prompting him to develop and improve himself. He took it with diligence, diligence and diligence (“ass”). Very vain, with difficulty made his way to the bosses. More than anything else, he is afraid of losing his position and status. Disciplined, smart, organizer by nature, introvert. Behavior in the team - "from rags to riches." He loves himself and his accomplishments. He is vindictive until the end of his life, touchy, does not forgive jokes and criticism, prefers flattery, loves when his merits, office, work and achievements are praised.

5. "Important Bird" or "cheek puffer" - a fairly common type of middle manager who has recently made it to the top. He likes to play a "high-flying bird" out of himself. He puts on a mysterious look, making it clear to others and subordinates that he knows a lot and can, that he has a “hand everywhere” (mayor, governor, the president himself). In fact, this leader got into the bosses solely by chance. Abilities are mediocre: intuitive personality type, low or average intelligence, poor memory and analytical skills, arrogant. Focused on personal and family needs, he never forgets himself, but he does not steal on a large scale, he does not take large bribes - he is afraid to lose his position forever. In the work team, he prefers weak subordinates, conflicts, "slander" and flattery. Such a hero was perfectly played by Igor Ilyinsky in the film "Volga-Volga".

6. "Organizer" ("Enthusiast"). Constantly on the move, extremely sociable (choleric), prefers to quickly solve operational problems to the detriment of strategic ones, he is distinguished by a high level of intelligence. More often it is chubby, bald, plump. The external image of a benevolent, lively, enthusiastic interlocutor, Can quickly organize the implementation of any business and mobilize the workforce to achieve the goal. However, he is able to bring his subordinates to quiet madness with his idiotic undertakings and "valuable" initiatives. Therefore, the first leaders rarely leave the "organizer" - most often he gets to the chief engineer, deputy in economics or personnel. The office and the desktop are always littered with papers, documents, newspapers, the secretary does not trust to sort them out, she navigates thanks to her excellent memory and "social activist's grip".

7. "Smart Fox"- outwardly always smiling, pleasant person. Got a good education, a comprehensively developed personality, necessarily has a hobby (draws, composes poetry, numismatist, plays music), a creative personality type, choleric or phlegmatic, focused on the surrounding reality, quickly responds to changes in the environment, usually has no problems with morality, avoids conflicts. Has a strong authority important person from the top leader, they come to him for advice. From such managers come the main specialists (chief accountant, chief legal adviser, chief technologist, personnel assistant). In operational work with him, it is important to document the course of negotiations, endorse documents (he does not like this), draw up minutes of meetings and reach agreement. Without this, he may withdraw from the agreement. In a team, he prefers silence and minor conflicts, does not like authoritarianism, but is forced to obey his superior.

8. "Eminence grise"- a very strong personality in the team, prefers to be "in the shadows" and on the sidelines with a young or old leader, usually aged 50 years and older, suffered a serious illness, which is always in him. He has a brilliant education, a very high intellect, an excellent memory and a huge production or personnel experience. Outwardly ascetic in appearance, thin, gloomy, introvert, nothing can be read from his face, a widower or unhappy in family life. He does not take gifts and bribes, does not make decisions himself, likes to prepare decisions and implement them through top management (“Your idea”), a good diplomat, and respects the interests of the enterprise or organization. Historical images: Cardinal Richelieu and member of the Politburo of the Central Committee of the CPSU M. A. Suslov.

9. "Bully" loud, staunch, firm, formidable, aggressive, and they say about him that he has influential friends in high places (often the "bully" does it himself). Bullies have a strong desire to control others; for them, life is an ongoing struggle for power.

Bullies are afraid of two things: their own imperfection and any form of intimacy. When dealing with this type of leader, stand straight, look and speak openly, call him by name to get his attention, but without taking a "fighting stance", and try to solve the problem that interests you with him. Try to control your own fear, as fear only incites ("turns on") this type of leader. Don't show your excitement and give the "bully" time to vent his anger.

When the bully's momentum begins to wane, it's your turn to take the lead. Avoid "any collision". Be friendly but firm. Smile if it seems appropriate, but don't be intimidated. Focus on the problem and your needs. If you show respect, not fear, the "bully" will look for another "victim".

10. "Bear" usually friendly, sweet and benevolent. However, such leaders have two main drawbacks: they delay decisions at all costs and make do with assertions. general avoiding being specific. Slow managers are in fact the victims of a demanding, pedantic upbringing; they procrastinate on tasks to avoid trouble, "beat around the bush", avoiding being frank and afraid of hurting someone's feelings.

Slow managers are afraid of making a mistake that may reveal their professional incompetence and blunders. If your leader is slow, try to discover this in a "hidden barrier" situation. Be sure to let him know that it is not surprising to make mistakes when you are learning something. Ask what he means when he uses vague or ambiguous words, and agree on precise and realistic deadlines for completing the work. Be flexible, but be factual. Use positive techniques and avoid pressure: a slow leader is already insecure enough. Try to solve problems with the alternatives arranged in a row. Give support to the manager after he has made a decision. When he makes a decision, increase your vigilance; accepting orders and instructions from him, do not rush things.

11. "Fighter"(for women "Amazon"). "Fighter" is a "walking bomb" with a clockwork. His (or her) anger is not on the surface. The “fighter” explodes unexpectedly: he screams a lot, attacks and splashes out his sarcasm. He likes to "shoot" indiscriminately, quickly and often. When his outburst ends, he "creeps" back into his sullen silence. For the "fighter" the restoration of justice (real or imagined) is the goal, vengeance is the tool.

The "fighter" is afraid of his own anger and the manifestation of his emotions, as well as insincerity in any form. When you approach this type of leader, try to confront them constructively. You can even tell him how difficult it is to deal with his "half wind" anger. Ask for a personal meeting with him; do not allow deviations or disruptions. Then show your serious intentions by focusing on the question; try to channel his energy into solving the problem. Make it a challenge for him, because he likes challenges.

12. "Flatterer" constantly smiling, friendly, obsequious, with a sense of humor. Flatterers tell people what they want to hear; trying to "pin them against the wall" is as ineffectual as trying to collect mercury with a fork. Flatterers believe more in form and influence than in essence and competence. Their need for approval makes them experts in trickery.

The "flatterer" is afraid of direct conversation and direct action, which sometimes leads to the generation of enemies. He needs approval - so give it to him, laugh at his jokes and enjoy his stories. But don't let him make unrealistic commitments. Hold him accountable and demand facts: names, location, specific task, and proof of truth. Let him know that honesty is the best policy.

13. "Know-It-All" knows a lot, but his problem is that he acts like he knows everything. He (or she) is very impatient, which manifests itself in an inability to listen. If the “know-it-all” encounters negative phenomena, he criticizes what he himself does not know, blames others, since he himself needs little prompting and does not like to work in groups. The "know-it-all" thinks that his personal mind and knowledge - the only way evaluating the performance of others.

The know-it-all is afraid of not pleasing others, afraid of a sharp drop in his own standards of excellence. Don't fight the know-it-all, don't blame him, and avoid confrontation with him; don't try to be "counter-expert" (oppose him in what he considers himself an expert). On the contrary, lead him to solve the problem. Ask the "know-it-all", listen to him and express gratitude to him; then provide feedback and suggest alternatives.

14. "Lazy" (slob). The personal habits (inclinations) of a “lazy person” can irritate and even cause disgust; disorder and chaos manifests itself both in his (or her) work and in his personal life. “Lazy people” cannot navigate in the order of things and prioritize tasks; their clothes are constantly wrinkled, soiled or torn. They may eat too much, smoke, smell of alcohol, or leave half their dinner on their own mustaches.

"Lazy" does not want to admit that he should be responsible for his actions, showing childishness and carelessness. If you're working with a lazy person, support him when he accidentally gets neat in his behavior and help him achieve more order in his personal and professional life. Show by your own example that if you behave in the same way as he, then the matter will stop. Try to instill minimal knowledge of the leader's NOT. "Lazy" requires a hardworking and clear secretary who can solve problems.

15. "Abnormal" ("Concerned"). Such a leader exhibits abnormal (deviating from the norm) behavior. Abnormality affects either sexual harassment, or frequent absenteeism, or constant lies. The "abnormal" leaders try to shirk responsibility and hope that people will "cover" them. They are too anxious, ineffective, and it is difficult to understand whether this excitement and irrepressible whims are the cause or effect of their own problems. His behavior quickly manifests itself in business trips, because he gets drunk more often, is rude, sticks to women, scandals.

An “abnormal” leader is afraid of responsibility and, perhaps, behaves inappropriately even when he achieves success. His anomalies should be carefully documented to provide "reliable evidence" for victory in case he tries to lie to protect himself. Some employees should have their own dossiers on the manager's anomalous activities; such documents can provide convincing proof of their case in the event of a confrontation.

Technology for dealing with a "difficult" leader

When dealing with a "difficult" manager, you can choose from several acceptable options. The most effective strategy is determined by the type of "difficult" leader you have and your own specific personality and management skills. Below are the behaviors from which you can choose the best.

Don't do anything. Just keep doing what you've been doing all along. Of course, this has already led to the current situation and does not promise anything good. But if your fear of trying your luck is greater than your degree of dissatisfaction, perhaps the best thing to do is to let things take their course, for any other course might just add fuel to the fire.

Reevaluate your leader. Individual leaders are not really "difficult." Some employees think they have "difficult" leaders, but in reality they just have different ideas about their roles, goals, or values. Or it may turn out that the point is in the contradiction (incompatibility) of individuals - such, for example, as an extrovert (a person who is interested only in external objects) and an introvert (a person focused on his experiences); or the problem is conflicting perspectives - such as the detail-oriented and opposite "whole picture" perspectives. The meaning of these differences depends on how you look at them and how you use them; a combination of people with a "big picture" perspective and a detailed perspective can give a great command, but it can also lead to confrontation. Review, reevaluate your leader.

Refine your style. Sometimes the best approach is to forget about the desire to change the leader and improve your own behavior. Of course, you must have the desire to change, otherwise the attempt will fail. If you decide to change, try to do just one or two conscious and important changes in your approach to work. Change what directly hinders the effectiveness of your relationship with your boss.

Talk to your supervisor. First of all, you need to evaluate how good a candidate for a one-on-one dialogue is your manager. Some leaders simply don't practice this kind of interpersonal communication, in which case you'd better stop trying. Is your manager able to take criticism? Is he (or she) a caring person? Can he (or she) listen? If your manager is a good candidate for dialogue, then ask him for a meeting, prepare carefully for it; ask meaningful questions and observe his reactions; at the same time, use feedback, expressing your approval in cases where you deem it necessary. Remember that most leaders crave genuine mindfulness. feedback to ease the burden that their difficult behavior creates. If your "difficult" boss has a "difficult" boss, then your boss may need that support even more than you do. Give him a good example.

"Talk Anonymously". If you are afraid to tell your boss what you think directly, you can try to communicate your thoughts to him with a tactful, attentive, but still honest letter. A bulletin board message about the establishment of the "difficult manager of the month" award may have some effect, but don't try this approach in a small firm! Sometimes an anonymous message is the only acceptable opportunity to get attention. However, don't get caught red-handed.

Select transfer (by service). If you like your organization but don't like your manager, getting a transfer may be your best alternative. Pick the type of leader you would like to have and decide what type of work you would like to do for him. Make a list of a few executives you would like to work with, and directly or indirectly "cast the bait" to the best candidate. Your current manager should only know what you are doing if you are confident that you can successfully complete the transfer attempt.

Approach a senior manager. This strategy is risky, but it can be effective. Remember that there is a strong possibility that the "big boss" might side with your boss. As you know, a raven will not peck out a crow's eye. Try to determine how close they are, and beware if your leader belongs to his (or her) clan. If you really choose this approach, be sure to prepare solid arguments. Be objective and helpful, but don't "sell out" your manager.

Cope with a "difficult" boss. If none of these strategies appeals to you, there can be only one way out - you must be able to "tame" your leader! If you meet some of his (or her) needs, he (or she) will usually try not to lose you. But whatever you do, don't sacrifice your own values ​​- it's not worth losing your respect for yourself. Look at the people who get along with this leader and learn how they do it. For example, they take on responsibilities that the manager does not like to deal with, or do not require his approval when it is not required, or remain silent when the leader is indignant.

Change organization. A change of scenery can often work wonders. But there is no guarantee that a leader in another organization will be better than your current one. However, if you are in a small organization associated with a leader who is not good for you, it may be time to look around and think about changing jobs. Evaluate your new organization and new leader very carefully before you leave your current job.

There are different kinds of bosses. If your boss is wonderful person, fair, intelligent, not devoid of a sense of humor, you are very lucky. But what about those whose boss is not a gift? There are stupid, cunning, angry, irritable bosses. And there are real petty tyrants who decided that their position allows them to humiliate the human dignity of people who depend on him to some extent. How to be smarter than your boss so as not to let him make your life miserable and still not lose your job? Do not be afraid of furious bosses who, at every opportunity, spit saliva and call their subordinates the last words. You just need to be able to communicate with them, while keeping your interests in mind. Psychologists have developed behavioral strategies specifically for such cases. If you do not want to kiss the bosses below the back, you should definitely read this material.

Video secrets of building relationships with the boss

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We put in place the raging boss

The most unpleasant case at work is to become an object of neglect or humiliation. The reasons may be different - you came in too short a skirt, accidentally late, did not understand the task that you were given. A common situation - you made a mistake. And your boss, having discovered this, informs you in an extremely rude form that you should not have done this, and in general there is no sense from you as an employee. At the same time, all past "sins" are remembered. Many bosses chastise subordinates in a rather insulting manner, often in front of witnesses. In this they see an opportunity to once again show their superiority. Such bosses love to focus on the employee's mistakes, humiliating him as a person.

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How to be smarter than the boss

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Method one: lose your job

The first thing that comes to mind is to answer the boss in the same spirit, declare that you and him are not on the way and leave the office with your head held high. Beautiful, you can't argue with that. On the way to the labor exchange, you will amuse your pride enough, remembering how you told him EVERYTHING. Unfortunately, a less pleasant outcome is also possible. If the clarification of relations with the boss goes too far, his security may take over for you, and you will not leave the office on your own, but simply fly out. With or without things. If you need a job, this way of being smarter than your boss is not at all suitable for you. And will you be smarter if you do? The question is moot.

Answering the boss in the style of "himself such" is not worth it. Even if you feel the strength to correctly explain that the boss has no right to point out your mistakes, because he himself is mistaken, he is late, etc. The result is most likely to be similar - you will lose your job.

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Method two: sprinkle ashes on your head

This method is slightly better than the previous one - you will not lose your job. You should tear your shirt up, repeating that you will not allow such a mistake again, humbly apologize, and your boss will most likely change his anger to mercy and grant you forgiveness. One bad thing: this method is not suitable for everyone. It is possible that you have your own dignity, in which case, after such an incident, you will have the feeling that you have wiped your feet on you. In addition, you sign your own insignificance, accepting humiliation in your address. And if other employees were present at the same time, you risk losing not only self-respect, but also the respect of colleagues, who will soon cease to reckon with you. After all, the team follows the leader, as the pack follows the leader - our ancient ancestors knew about this.

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Method three: constructive solution

First, do not answer the boss immediately. Let him speak and let off his steam. After that, he will be able to listen to you. Admit that you made a mistake, regret it and be more careful next time. Next, add that your boss is talking to you in a rather harsh tone, and you don't see the need for it. And remember that it is better to sort things out in confidence.

You should not put an ultimatum like "yes, I will quit your office if you allow yourself to speak in such a tone again." As a rule, bosses cannot tolerate this. And you can write a letter of resignation without warning. Simply and without irritation in your voice, say that this style of address prevents you from focusing on official duties.

But even in this case, there is a risk of dismissal if you come across a psychopathic boss who does not tolerate any manifestations of self-respect on the part of subordinates. These people need a different approach.

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Don't show mental superiority

There is such an office saying: never show yourself smarter than the boss - you will pass for a wise man. Indeed, it is not the one who demonstrates this at every step that is smart, but the one who knows how to show his potential in right place and at the right time. And the boss's office is not the place where you should show your superiority.

Most people dislike those who are smarter. The situation is aggravated if the first is the boss, and the second is an ordinary employee. If you flaunt your deep knowledge, you will be known as an upstart. And this will greatly prevent you from moving up the corporate ladder. Of course, there are also very smart managers who encourage the growth of the professionalism of their employees and value their knowledge and skills. If you have just such a boss, you are lucky, but then you would not be interested in this issue and would not be on this page.

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How to communicate with your boss


Elena Kaspirkevich

How to communicate with superiors - this question concerns every subordinate, and any employee should know the basic rules of communication, avoid common mistakes to have a constructive conversation with management.

How to communicate with superiors

Bosses are different - from quite democratic and adequate to real petty tyrants. But everyone has one thing in common: they are leaders, and you are subordinates, and therefore you must be able to find a common language with your boss.

First of all, remember that the leader has a much greater responsibility than his team. He has to make decisions, sometimes act tough, and the problems of his level are often more serious than ours.

Hence the habit of commanding, an imperious tone, a heavy look. So what to do: tremble and prostrate? Not at all.

How to behave with your boss

Before visiting the office of the authorities, it is necessary to tune in, because in a stressful state we are not capable of adequate communication. Sit quietly, take a deep breath, remember your strengths to raise self-esteem. And stay positive. If you broadcast your fear, they will treat you like a victim.

For whatever reason you go to communicate with your superiors, carefully prepare - this is a report, a request, even a “call on the carpet”: you must control and argue all your words.

Speak confidently, clearly, don't be speechless and don't mutter excuses under your breath - this annoys any leader. Make a conversation plan, on any point you should be ready to briefly and clearly explain your position.

How to communicate constructively with superiors - do not start from the threshold to “load” them with problems. Entering the office, look around for a few seconds, feel the mood of the boss. If he is angry or depressed, your cheerful voice will be out of place. Speak calmly, softly and measuredly.


If the boss is optimistic and looks cheerful, the dramatic overtones in the subordinate's voice can spoil the upcoming conversation. Learn to be a little bit of a psychologist, because communication is an art, and mastering it gives a lot of advantages.

Remind your boss what you came to talk about. He has a lot of problems and worries without you, he cannot remember everything, bring him up to date: we have problems with supplier N for such and such reasons.

"Bosses are always right" - such a slogan, of course, is to the liking of many leaders. But a qualified and experienced employee should be able to defend his point of view.

However, this is done only face to face, it is unacceptable to point out to the boss his delusions and mistakes in the presence of one of his subordinates, even if he is wrong three times.

Disagree with the instructions of the authorities - try to convincingly prove this to the boss himself. But many begin to discuss unfair, in their opinion, orders behind the back of the leadership, with colleagues who, of course, will sympathize. But then for some reason your dissatisfaction will reach the boss.

How to communicate with superiors - the rules of subordination

The distance between superiors and subordinates must be respected. Even if you have a small team and your boss is your friend, you should not demonstrate it. It is better to address him with "you".

There are, of course, situations when the director is too democratic and prefers a friendly style of communication, but it is still worth remembering who holds what position.

Do not forget to follow an important rule: all work issues that require resolution with the participation of other managers of the same level as yours should be resolved only after agreeing with your boss. Otherwise, you will be disrespectful to your boss.


Many leaders have, in turn, bosses of an even higher rank. For your subordinates, you are certainly a thunderstorm and authority. But when talking to your boss, forget about it. Maybe, at the same time, you will better understand your own employees.

How to deal with a tyrant boss

There are enough bosses from whom you want to run away - there are tyrants, and manipulators, and even psychopaths. They understand the concept of “staff motivation” as one big stick (there is no talk of a carrot).

There are only two ways out of a situation when you are tired of such bosses. If your salary is not worth enduring humiliation, being in a state of constant stress and losing self-respect for it, look for another job.

And if you are afraid of losing a significant source of income, there are career prospects, or you simply cannot quit everything and leave today, stay and act.

You can’t change the leader – change your attitude to the situation. Try to imagine that everything that happens is a kind of training for endurance, psychological stability and endurance.

In dealing with an unbalanced boss, do not be rude in response - this will only inflame the petty tyrant. It will be possible to speak with him more or less constructively only when he cools down.


It's useless to argue at all. After the boss gives in a little, say that you are sorry for your mistake and will correct everything. But add - I do not see the need to speak to me in such a tone, it prevents me from concentrating on my work.

And there is good advice- try to stay away from the petty tyrant at the moment of a surge of bossy aggression. Unless, of course, you were called to the carpet in the midst of an angry outburst.

Then there are still such methods of maintaining balance and suppressing your desire to launch something into a screaming type.
Imagine that you are on stage and playing roles: the boss is in the form of a tyrant, and you are an undeserved victim.

Do not take what is happening seriously - you will play the thrashing scene and the performance will go on in a different direction.

You can build a wall of your imagination between your boss and yourself—made of glass, bricks, concrete—anything. But you are here, and he, excited, is there. And all his anger breaks against this blank wall.

Another interesting method is to imagine a tyrant at home: here he is, in an apron and a chef's hat, cooking something in the kitchen, or sitting comfortably in an armchair in pajamas. Is it possible to be offended by this?

You can go even further in your imagination - you seat a too harmful and hated boss in your thoughts on ... a pot and let him scold you from there. This picture is just laughable. And you are not offended at all by his angry speech.

The boss comes - what to do

Unscrupulous bosses are not only in work matters. Many are familiar with sexual harassment firsthand.


Do not provoke the leader with your frank appearance, observe the dress code and moderation in makeup.

Attempts at flirting should be stopped, not hushed up, otherwise you seem to be encouraging sexual harassment.
How to communicate with superiors businesslike manner, do not accept any gifts, do not answer calls after work.

Express your dissatisfaction in private, and if the disgrace continues, you can attract the attention of colleagues.

Emphasize your stable relationship with your husband or loved one, call him in the presence of the boss.

There will be communication in the boss's office alone - take a voice recorder with you so that you have evidence of his harassment.

Even when the case does not reach the court, the evidence against the excessively naughty boss will help him cool his ardor.

There is another option to seek help from higher management. But harassment cannot be tolerated. Stand up for your rights, no matter how difficult it may be.

Work, in addition to financial income, should also bring moral satisfaction.

You yourself choose how to communicate with your superiors - endure humiliation or look for different ways out of this situation.

No employee likes it when the manager calls on the carpet. On the way to the office, there is one question in my head, why did the boss need me? The conversation with the boss occurs when new tasks are issued or the analysis of the work performed. A call to the boss makes even an impeccable employee worry and get nervous. As a result, the conversation is confused and unprofessional. This is how most people treat their boss. Why we are shy in front of the boss and how to talk to the boss to impress.

Why is there a barrier between superiors and subordinates?

It is disgusting to watch from the outside when a colleague cannot connect even two words at a meeting, presenting a report to the manager. Where does your bravado go when it comes to you? Stumbling, blushing, forgetting to argue with facts and research. Do not assume that you are a strange person. This is how most subordinates behave and the reason is not a lack of knowledge or inability to communicate. The reason is that they think differently, hence the barrier arises.

A leader makes dozens of decisions every day. Each of them affects the profit of the company. Therefore, the nature of the boss and the attitude to the matter has changed. He does not hesitate and does not waste time on empty talk. The task of the boss is to give the task to the subordinate, and then demand an intelligible answer. Make decisions based on the data received. Subordinates are not used to this, so the thinking is different. To reduce this barrier, try to put yourself in the shoes of a leader. This is not only a prestigious position and an increase in salary, but also a responsibility.

The boss has a certain amount of time allocated for each question, so do not take it away with empty conversations and reports. Argue the data and think over possible questions from the authorities. Then a professional and productive conversation will develop between you.

The main thing is to learn how to talk briefly and to the point. Don't take yours work time, colleagues and manager. Do not forget that business conversation is welcome at work. This does not mean that you have to be a robot that speaks with a metallic voice. Jokes, funny stories are appropriate if they are told in free time and do not offend those present.

What is the right way to talk to your boss?

  1. Do not mumble and do not chatter. Imagine that you have a colleague in front of you, and not a harsh boss. Express your thoughts in a consistent, calm and even tone. Many employees, trying to quickly get rid of the conversation with the boss, quickly make a report. As a result, nothing is clear. Another extreme is when a person constantly strays, mumbles.

    Read your report aloud several times before crossing the boss's office.

  2. Prepare for a conversation. Come to the boss's office with a notepad and pen to write down the boss's instructions. Prepare for a conversation. If the conversation takes place on your initiative: improving the workflow, transferring responsibilities to another employee, then provide the boss with arguments and benefits why this should be done.
  3. Stay confident. The task of a subordinate is not only to accept tasks and perform them flawlessly. You have your own thoughts on the organization of the process. Share ideas with your boss. If the boss did not understand and did not appreciate, then do not rush to end the conversation. Think about how to influence the opinion of the leader. Do not consider yourself a loser right away, defend your opinion to the end.

Always and the rules of communication in the office. If it is customary to speak to the boss in “you” and call by name and patronymic, then do not change the rules. The boss is not your closest friend, but the person on whom the level of salary and working conditions depend. Therefore, poking will be inappropriate.

How to talk to a tyrant boss?

Not everyone is lucky with an understanding and fair boss. Many employees complain about the boss, who does not appreciate the work of his subordinates, always grumbles, is dissatisfied with something. Such a leader can leave overtime at work, reprimand for a perfect report, raise his voice in front of everyone. Such a leader is called a tyrant. As a rule, he recently took a leadership position and a month ago got along well with the team. It is impossible to correct such a person, so you need to learn how to get along with him at work. How to talk to a tyrant boss?

  1. . When you are rude, it is difficult to restrain yourself, you want to give a couple of offensive remarks in response. If the leader is a tyrant, then switching to shouting will ruin the situation. It will heat up to the limit, shouting to the truth, you will not reach it. Leave the chief's office under any pretext, wait for the boss to cool down, and return to the conversation. This does not mean that one should silently swallow such an attitude. When submitting the assignment, note that the task was completed and it is not necessary to talk to you, raising your voice.
  2. Connect your imagination. The best way to relieve internal tension is to present the leader in a funny role or situation. If you feel that you are boiling over, but you don’t want to lose your job, then imagine that the boss is dressed in a jester costume. Or imagine that everyone is sitting on chairs in suits, and your boss is in funny pajamas and a sleeping cap. This method helps to relax and let off steam.

    Don't let your boss humiliate you and don't become a victim. There are employees who adopt the following tactics: indulge in tyranny in everything, fulfill any requirements, rush at the first call. As a result, they move up the career ladder and occupy leadership positions. But such a person does not develop working relationships with subordinates. After all, the team remembers how the chair of the head was earned.

There are certain norms, the observance of which will help to better build relationships in the team. This is especially true of relationships with management.

Permissible forms of address to superiors

Depending on the degree of subordination, there are different standards of communication with management. If you can communicate with the manager face to face by name, in the presence of other employees, do not forget to address the boss by name and patronymic in a respectful manner. Whatever your relationship in an informal atmosphere, formalized norms remain at work that require mandatory compliance.
You can only use “you” with your boss if he personally asked to be called by his first name. Usually, this rule does not apply to newcomers and newcomers to the company. However, during business negotiations it is strictly forbidden to show your informal relationships with the leader, the format of such meetings is always strict and official, even if the relationship is actually friendly and trusting. This should remain a purely personal matter.
The use of pseudonyms and affectionate diminutives is not allowed in the office. Each employee, including the chief, has his own name and patronymic. Equivalents will be perceived as an act of disrespect.
Modern companies use the practice of referring to colleagues and management by name, but on "You". Familiarity has never been welcome in business circles.

What should you ask your manager when applying for a job?

Do not forget to develop your intellect and control your emotionality. The main quality of a good employee is diligence and responsibility. Try to reduce the level of initiative shown and focus on discipline and the results of your tasks. No matter how brilliant your ideas are, they will listen to an employee with an excellent reputation and high performance. Complete tasks in set time and even ahead of time, it will be indisputable advantage compared to your peers. Even if you do not have time, you should not panic and despair ahead of time. Calm down, formulate the reasons for failures and solve them effectively. If the situation requires it, ask your superiors to give you additional time and resources to overcome problems. If you have any questions while doing the work, do not be afraid to approach and ask for the necessary clarifying information from your superiors. Thus, you will show that you want to understand the essence of the issue deeper and are ready for an open two-way dialogue for the most accurate result.

Be optimistic and friendly, communicate seriously with the management team, but do not frown or show your negative attitude towards the situation.
There must be a certain atmosphere in the team. If it is inadequate, aggressive and destructive, your task is to abstract from the general background of behavior in the office and focus on your work.
All of the above methods will help not only to achieve positive trends in the development of relations with the leader, but will also affect your career growth.