Funny stories for children Zoshchenko. Funny stories from the collection "The Most Important" Mikhail Zoshchenko

The story of how the suitcase was stolen

Not far from Zhmerinka, a suitcase was whistled from, or, as they say, "taken away" from one citizen.

It was, of course, the fast train.

And it was just one to wonder how they took this suitcase from him.

The main thing is that the victim was caught, as if on purpose, in the highest degree careful and prudent citizen.

They usually don't even steal anything from them. That is, not that he himself used others. No, he's honest. But he's just being careful.

For example, he did not let go of his suitcase all day. I think he even went to the restroom with him. Although it was not so easy for him, as they say.

And at night, he may have been lying on it with his ear. He, so to speak, for the sensitivity of hearing and so as not to be carried away during the process of sleep, lay down on his head. And somehow I slept on it - I don’t know.

And he did not even raise his head from this thing of his to be sure. And if he needed to roll over to the other side, then he somehow rotated with all this object.

No, he was extremely sensitive and cautious about this baggage of his.

And suddenly it was whistled from him. That's the number!

And even more so, he was warned before going to bed. Someone there said to him when he lay down:

“You,” he says, “be kind, drive more carefully here.

- And what? he asks.

“On all roads,” he says, “theft has almost stopped. But here, on this stretch, it still sometimes happens that they are naughty. And it even happens that sleepy people take off their boots, not to mention luggage, and so on.

Our citizen says:

“It doesn't concern me. When it comes to my suitcase, I tend to sleep quite lightly on it. And this race doesn't bother me.

And with these words, he lies down on his top shelf and puts his suitcase under his head with various, probably valuable household items.

So he lies down and falls asleep peacefully.

And suddenly at night someone comes up to him in the dark and quietly begins to pull off his boot from his foot.

And our passerby was in Russian boots. And at once such a boot, of course, cannot be removed, thanks to its long shaft. So the stranger just pulled this boot off his foot a little.

Our citizen restrained himself and thinks:

And at this time, the unknown person now takes him by the other leg and pulls again. But this time, he pulls with all his might.

Here is our citizen, how he will jump up, with a flourish, how he will gasp the thief on the shoulder! And that one - like siganet to the side! And our passerby - how he kicks from the shelf behind him! He wants, most importantly, to run, but he cannot, because his boots are half pulled off. The legs in the tops dangle like bells.

For now, yes. While the legs went up inside, he looks - the thief has already caught a trace. Only to hear that he, a swindler, slammed the door on the landing.

Screams rose. Ta-ra-ram. Everyone jumped up.

Our traveler says:

- Here's an interesting case. They almost took my boots off my sleepy bed.

And he himself suddenly looked askance at his shelf, where his suitcase should have been.

But, alas, he was no more. Well, of course, again screams and again ta-ra-ram.

One of the passengers says:

- Probably, they pulled your leg on purpose so that you, I'm sorry, freed the suitcase from your head. And then you lie down and lie down. That's why you're most likely worried.

The victim through the tears of suffering says:

- That's what I don't know.

And he himself runs to the transport department at the first station and makes a statement there. There they said:

“The cunning and cunning of these crooks defies description.

And, having learned what he had in his suitcase, they promised to inform him if something happened. They said:

- We'll eat. Although, of course, we can not vouch.

And they, of course, did it right that they did not vouch for it, since they never found the thief with the suitcase.

We were tormented by nostalgia for childhood and we decided to find for you the most interesting funny stories that we ourselves read with pleasure in childhood.

exemplary child

There lived a little boy Pavlik in Leningrad. He had a mother. And there was dad. And there was a grandmother.
And in addition, a cat called Bubenchik lived in their apartment.
That morning, my dad went to work. Mom left too. And Pavlik stayed with his grandmother.
And my grandmother was very old. And she loved to sleep in the armchair.
So dad is gone. And mom left. Grandma sat down in a chair. And Pavlik began to play with his cat on the floor. He wanted her to walk on her hind legs. But she didn't want to. And meowed very plaintively.
Suddenly, the bell rang on the stairs.
Grandmother and Pavlik went to open the doors.
It's the postman.
He brought a letter.
Pavlik took the letter and said:
- I'll tell my dad.
The postman has left. Pavlik wanted to play with his cat again. And suddenly he sees - the cat is nowhere to be found.
Peacock says to grandmother:
- Grandma, that's the number - our Bell is gone.
Grandma says:
- Probably Bubenchik ran to the stairs when we opened the door for the postman.
Peacock says:
– No, it must have been the postman who took my Bell. He probably gave us a letter on purpose, and took my trained cat for himself. It was a cunning postman.
Grandmother laughed and said jokingly:
- Tomorrow the postman will come, we will give him this letter and in return we will take our cat back from him.
Here the grandmother sat down in a chair and fell asleep.
And Pavlik put on his overcoat and cap, took the letter, and quietly went out onto the stairs.
“Better,” he thinks, “I will now give the letter to the postman. And I'd rather take my kitty from him now.
Here Pavlik went out into the yard. And he sees that there is no postman in the yard.
Peacock went outside. And walked down the street. And he sees that there is no postman anywhere on the street either.
Suddenly, one red-haired aunt says:
“Ah, look, everyone, what a little kid is walking alone down the street! He must have lost his mother and got lost. Ah, call the policeman soon!
Here comes a policeman with a whistle. Aunt says to him:
“Look, what a boy of about five got lost.
Policeman says:
This boy is holding a letter in his pen. Probably, on this letter is written the address where he lives. We will read this address and deliver the child home. It's good that he took the letter with him.
Auntie says:
- In America, many parents put letters in their children's pockets on purpose so that they do not get lost.
And with these words, the aunt wants to take a letter from Pavlik. Peacock says to her:
– What are you worried about? I know where I live.
The aunt was surprised that the boy had told her so boldly. And almost fell into a puddle from excitement.
Then he says:
“Look, what a smart boy. Let him then tell us where he lives.
Peacock replies:
- Fontanka Street, eight.
The policeman looked at the letter and said:
– Wow, this is a fighting child – he knows where he lives.
Aunt says to Pavlik:
- What is your name and who is your father?
Peacock says:
- My dad is a driver. Mom went to the store. Grandma is sleeping in a chair. And my name is Pavlik.
The policeman laughed and said:
- This is a fighting, demonstrative child - he knows everything. He will probably be a police chief when he grows up.
The aunt says to the policeman:
Take this boy home.
The policeman says to Pavlik:
“Well, little comrade, let’s go home.”
Pavlik says to the policeman:
Give me your hand and I will take you to my house. Here is my beautiful house.
Here the policeman laughed. And the red-haired aunt also laughed.
The policeman said:
- This is an exceptionally fighting, demonstrative child. Not only does he know everything, he also wants to bring me home. This child will certainly be the head of the police.
So the policeman gave his hand to Pavlik, and they went home.
As soon as they reached their house, suddenly mom was coming.
Mom was surprised that Pavlik was walking down the street, she took him in her arms and brought him home.
At home, she scolded him a little. She said:
- Oh, you nasty boy, why did you run into the street?
Peacock said:
- I wanted to take my Bubenchik from the postman. And then my Bubenchik disappeared, and, probably, the postman took it.
Mom said:
- What nonsense! Postmen never take cats. There is your bell sitting on the closet.
Peacock says:
- That's the number. Look where my trained kitty jumped.
Mom says:
- Probably, you, a nasty boy, tormented her, so she climbed onto the closet.
Suddenly my grandmother woke up.
Grandmother, not knowing what happened, tells her mother:
– Today Pavlik was very quiet and well-behaved. And he didn't even wake me up. You should give him candy for that.
Mom says:
- He should not be given candy, but put in a corner with his nose. He ran outside today.
Grandma says:
- That's the number.
Suddenly dad comes. Dad wanted to get angry, why the boy ran out into the street. But Pavlik gave dad a letter.
Papa says:
This letter is not for me, but for my grandmother.
Grandmother put glasses on her nose and began to read the letter.
Then she says:
- In the city of Moscow, my youngest daughter had another child.
Peacock says:
“Probably a war baby was born. And he will probably be the head of the police.
Everyone laughed and sat down to eat.
The first one was soup with rice. On the second - cutlets. On the third was kissel.
The cat Bubenchik looked for a long time from her closet as Pavlik was eating. Then I could not stand it and also decided to eat a little.
She jumped from the closet to the dresser, from the dresser to the chair, from the chair to the floor.
And then Pavlik gave her a little soup and a little jelly.
And the cat was very pleased with it.

stupid story

Petya was not such a small boy. He was four years old. But his mother considered him a very tiny child. She fed him with a spoon, took him for a walk by the hand and in the morning she dressed him.
One day Petya woke up in his bed.
And my mother began to dress him.
So she dressed him and put him on his legs near the bed. But Petya suddenly fell.
Mom thought he was naughty, and again put him on his feet. But he fell again.
Mom was surprised and put him near the crib for the third time. But the child fell again.
Mom got scared and called dad on the phone at the service.
She told dad
- Come home soon. Something happened to our boy - he can't stand on his legs.
Here dad comes and says:
- Nonsense. Our boy walks and runs well, and it cannot be that he falls down with us.
And he instantly puts the boy on the carpet. The boy wants to go to his toys, but again, for the fourth time, he falls.
Papa says:
“We need to call the doctor as soon as possible. Our boy must have fallen ill. He probably ate too much candy yesterday.
They called the doctor.
A doctor comes in with glasses and a tube.
The Doctor says to Petya:
- What news is this! Why are you falling?
Petya says:
I don't know why, but I'm falling a little.
Doctor says to mother:
- Come on, undress this child, I'll examine him now.
Mom undressed Petya, and the doctor began to listen to him.
The doctor listened to him through the phone and said:
- The child is perfectly healthy. And it's amazing why it falls for you. Come on, put it on again and put it on its feet.
Here the mother quickly dresses the boy and puts him on the floor.
And the doctor puts glasses on his nose to better see how the boy falls. Only the boy was put on his feet, and suddenly he fell again.
The doctor was surprised and said:
- Call the professor. Maybe the professor will guess why this child is falling.
Dad went to call the professor, and at that moment the little boy Kolya comes to visit Petya.
Kolya looked at Petya, laughed and said:
- And I know why Petya falls down with you.
Doctor says:
- Look, what a learned little one was found - he knows better than me why children fall.
Kolya says:
- Look at how Petya is dressed. He has one pant dangling, and both legs are thrust into the other. That's why he falls.
Here everyone groaned and groaned.
Petya says:
It was my mother who dressed me.
Doctor says:
You don't need to call the professor. Now we understand why the child falls.
Mom says:
- In the morning I was in a hurry to cook porridge for him, but now I was very worried, and that's why I put on his pants so wrong.
Kolya says:
- And I always dress myself, and I don’t have such stupid things with my legs. Adults are always up to something.
Petya says:
"Now I'm going to dress myself."
Everyone laughed at that. And the doctor laughed. He said goodbye to everyone and also said goodbye to Kolya. And he went about his business.
Dad went to work. Mom went to the kitchen.
And Kolya and Petya remained in the room. And they started playing with toys.
And the next day, Petya himself put on his pants, and no more stupid stories happened to him.

It's not my fault

We sit at the table and eat pancakes.
Suddenly, my father takes my plate and starts eating my pancakes. I roar.
Father with glasses He has a serious look. Beard. However, he laughs. He says:
See how greedy he is. He is sorry for one pancake for his father.
I say:
- One pancake, please eat. I thought you were eating everything.
They bring soup. I say:
“Daddy, do you want my soup?”
Papa says:
- No, I'll wait until they bring sweets. Now, if you give me sweets, then you are really a good boy.
Thinking that for sweet cranberry jelly with milk, I say:
- Please. You can eat my sweets.
Suddenly they bring a cream to which I am not indifferent.
Pushing my saucer of cream towards my father, I say:
Please eat if you are so greedy.
The father frowns and leaves the table.
Mother says:
“Go to your father and ask for forgiveness.
I say:
- I will not go. It's not my fault.
I leave the table without touching the sweet.
In the evening, when I am lying in bed, my father comes up. He has my saucer of cream in his hands.
Father says:
- Well, why didn't you eat your cream?
I say:
- Dad, let's eat in half. Why should we quarrel over this?
My father kisses me and feeds me cream from a spoon.

The most important thing

Once upon a time there lived a boy Andryusha Ryzhenky. It was a cowardly boy. He was afraid of everything. He was afraid of dogs, cows, geese, mice, spiders and even roosters.
But most of all he was afraid of other people's boys.
And the mother of this boy was very, very sad that she had such a cowardly son.
One fine morning, the boy's mother said to him:
- Oh, how bad that you're afraid of everything! Only brave people live well in the world. Only they defeat enemies, put out fires and bravely fly planes. And for this everyone loves brave people. And everyone respects them. They give them gifts and give orders and medals. And no one likes a coward. They are laughed at and made fun of. And because of this, their life is bad, boring and uninteresting.
The boy Andryusha answered his mother like this:
- From now on, mother, I decided to be a brave man. And with these words, Andryusha went into the yard for a walk. The boys were playing football in the yard. These boys, as a rule, offended Andryusha.
And he was afraid of them like fire. And he always ran away from them. But today he did not run away. He called out to them:
- Hey you boys! Today I am not afraid of you! The boys were surprised that Andryusha called out to them so boldly. And they were even a little scared. And even one of them - Sanka Palochkin - said:
- Today Andryushka Ryzhenky is planning something against us. Let's better leave, otherwise we, perhaps, will get from him.
But the boys didn't leave. One pulled Andryusha by the nose. Another knocked his cap off his head. The third boy poked Andryusha with his fist. In short, they beat Andryusha a little. And he returned home with a roar.
And at home, wiping away tears, Andryusha said to his mother:
- Mom, I was brave today, but nothing good came of it.
Mom said:
- A stupid boy. It's not enough to just be brave, you have to be strong. Courage alone can't do anything.
And then Andryusha, unnoticed by his mother, took his grandmother's stick and with this stick went into the yard. I thought: “Now I will be stronger than usual. Now I will disperse the boys in different directions if they attack me.
Andryusha went out into the yard with a stick. And there were no more boys in the yard.
A black dog was walking there, which Andryusha was always afraid of.
Waving a stick, Andryusha said to this dog: - Just try to bark at me - you will get what you deserve. You'll know what a stick is when it walks over your head.
The dog began to bark and rush at Andryusha. Waving the stick, Andryusha hit the dog twice on the head, but the dog ran in behind and slightly tore Andryusha's pants.
And Andryusha ran home with a roar. And at home, wiping away tears, he said to his mother:
- Mom, how is it? I was strong and brave today, but nothing good came of it. The dog tore my pants and nearly bit me.
Mom said:
- Oh, you stupid little boy! It is not enough to be brave and strong. You still need to be smart. You have to think and think. And you acted stupid. You brandished the stick and it made the dog angry. That's why she tore your pants. It's your fault.
Andryusha said to his mother: - From now on, I will think every time when something happens.
And Andryusha Ryzhenky went out for a walk for the third time. But there was no longer a dog in the yard. And there were no boys either.
Then Andryusha Ryzhenky went out into the street to see where the boys were.
The boys were swimming in the river. And Andryusha began to watch them bathe.
And at that moment one boy, Sanka Palochkin, drowned in the water and began to shout:
- Oh, save me, I'm drowning!
And the boys were afraid that he was drowning, and ran to call the adults to save Sanka.
Andryusha Ryzhenky shouted to Sanka:
- Wait to sink! I will save you now.
Andryusha wanted to throw himself into the water, but then he thought: “Oh, I don’t swim well, and I don’t have enough strength to save Sanka. I will act smarter: I will get into the boat and swim up to Sanka on the boat.
And there was a fishing boat on the shore. Andryusha pushed the boat away from the shore and jumped into it himself.
And there were oars in the boat. Andryusha began to hit the water with these oars. But he did not succeed: he did not know how to row. And the current carried the fishing boat to the middle of the river. And Andryusha began to scream from fear.
At that moment, another boat was sailing along the river. And there were people in that boat.
These people saved Sanya Palochkin. And besides, these people caught up with the fishing boat, took it in tow and brought it to the shore.
Andryusha went home and at home, wiping away his tears, he said to his mother:
- Mom, I was brave today, I wanted to save the boy. Today I was smart, because I did not jump into the water, but swam in a boat. I was strong today because I pushed the heavy boat off the shore and pounded the water with heavy oars. But I didn't get anything.
Mom said:
- A stupid boy! I forgot to tell you the most important thing. It is not enough to be brave, smart and strong. This is too little. You also need to have knowledge. You have to know how to row, how to swim, how to ride a horse, how to fly an airplane. There is a lot to know. You need to know arithmetic and algebra, chemistry and geometry. And in order to know all this, you need to study. Who learns, he is smart. And who is smart, he must be brave. And everyone loves the brave and smart, because they defeat enemies, put out fires, save people and fly airplanes.
Andryusha said:
From now on, I will learn everything.
And mama said
- That's good.

There lived a little boy Pavlik in Leningrad.

He had a mother. And there was dad. And there was a grandmother.

And in addition, a cat called Bubenchik lived in their apartment.

That morning, my dad went to work. Mom left too. And Pavlik stayed with his grandmother.

And my grandmother was very old. And she loved to sleep in the armchair.

So dad is gone. And mom left. Grandma sat down in a chair. And Pavlik began to play with his cat on the floor. He wanted her to walk on her hind legs. But she didn't want to. And meowed very plaintively.

Suddenly, the bell rang on the stairs.

Grandmother and Pavlik went to open the doors.

It's the postman.

He brought a letter.

Pavlik took the letter and said:

- I'll tell my dad.

The postman has left. Pavlik wanted to play with his cat again. And suddenly he sees - the cat is nowhere to be found.

Peacock says to grandmother:

- Grandma, that's the number - our Bell is gone.

Grandma says:

- Probably Bubenchik ran to the stairs when we opened the door for the postman.

Peacock says:

– No, it must have been the postman who took my Bell. He probably gave us a letter on purpose, and took my trained cat for himself. It was a cunning postman.

Grandmother laughed and said jokingly:

- Tomorrow the postman will come, we will give him this letter and in return we will take our cat back from him.

Here the grandmother sat down in a chair and fell asleep.

And Pavlik put on his overcoat and cap, took the letter, and quietly went out onto the stairs.

“Better,” he thinks, “I will now give the letter to the postman. And I'd rather take my kitty from him now.

Here Pavlik went out into the yard. And he sees that there is no postman in the yard.

Peacock went outside. And walked down the street. And he sees that there is no postman anywhere on the street either.

Suddenly, one red-haired aunt says:

“Ah, look, everyone, what a little kid is walking alone down the street! He must have lost his mother and got lost. Ah, call the policeman soon!

Here comes a policeman with a whistle. Aunt says to him:

“Look, what a boy of about five got lost.

Policeman says:

This boy is holding a letter in his pen. Probably, on this letter is written the address where he lives. We will read this address and deliver the child home. It's good that he took the letter with him.

Auntie says:

- In America, many parents put letters in their children's pockets on purpose so that they do not get lost.

And with these words, the aunt wants to take a letter from Pavlik. Peacock says to her:

– What are you worried about? I know where I live.

The aunt was surprised that the boy had told her so boldly. And almost fell into a puddle from excitement.

Then he says:

“Look, what a smart boy. Let him then tell us where he lives.

Peacock replies:

- Fontanka Street, eight.

The policeman looked at the letter and said:

– Wow, this is a fighting child – he knows where he lives.

Aunt says to Pavlik:

- What is your name and who is your father?

Peacock says:

- My dad is a driver. Mom went to the store. Grandma is sleeping in a chair. And my name is Pavlik.

The policeman laughed and said:

- This is a fighting, demonstrative child - he knows everything. He will probably be a police chief when he grows up.

The aunt says to the policeman:

Take this boy home.

The policeman says to Pavlik:

“Well, little comrade, let’s go home.”

Pavlik says to the policeman:

Give me your hand and I will take you to my house. Here is my beautiful house.

Here the policeman laughed. And the red-haired aunt also laughed.

The policeman said:

- This is an exceptionally fighting, demonstrative child. Not only does he know everything, he also wants to bring me home. This child will certainly be the head of the police.

So the policeman gave his hand to Pavlik, and they went home.

As soon as they reached their house, suddenly mom was coming.

Mom was surprised that Pavlik was walking down the street, she took him in her arms and brought him home.

At home, she scolded him a little. She said:

- Oh, you nasty boy, why did you run into the street?

Peacock said:

- I wanted to take my Bubenchik from the postman. And then my Bubenchik disappeared, and, probably, the postman took it.

Mom said:

- What nonsense! Postmen never take cats. There is your bell sitting on the closet.

Peacock says:

- That's the number. Look where my trained kitty jumped.

Mom says:

- Probably, you, a nasty boy, tormented her, so she climbed onto the closet.

Suddenly my grandmother woke up.

Grandmother, not knowing what happened, tells her mother:

– Today Pavlik was very quiet and well-behaved. And he didn't even wake me up. You should give him candy for that.

Mom says:

- He should not be given candy, but put in a corner with his nose. He ran outside today.

Grandma says:

- That's the number.

Suddenly dad comes. Dad wanted to get angry, why the boy ran out into the street. But Pavlik gave dad a letter.

Papa says:

This letter is not for me, but for my grandmother.

Then she says:

- In the city of Moscow, my youngest daughter had another child.

Peacock says:

“Probably a war baby was born. And he will probably be the head of the police.

Everyone laughed and sat down to eat.

The first one was soup with rice. On the second - cutlets. On the third was kissel.

The cat Bubenchik looked for a long time from her closet as Pavlik was eating. Then I could not stand it and also decided to eat a little.

She jumped from the closet to the dresser, from the dresser to the chair, from the chair to the floor.

And then Pavlik gave her a little soup and a little jelly.

And the cat was very pleased with it.

Coward Vasya

Vasya's father was a blacksmith.

He worked at the forge. He made horseshoes, hammers and hatchets there.

And he went to the forge every day on his horse.

He had, wow, a nice black horse.

He harnessed her to the cart and rode.

And in the evening he returned.

And his son, a six-year-old boy Vasya, was a fan of a little ride.

Father, for example, comes home, gets off the cart, and Vasyutka immediately climbs in there and goes all the way to the forest.

And his father, of course, did not allow him to do this.

And the horse also did not really allow. And when Vasyutka climbed into the cart, the horse looked askance at him. And she waved her tail, - they say, get off, boy, from my cart. But Vasya whipped the horse with a rod, and then it hurt a little, and she quietly ran.

One evening my father returned home. Vasya immediately climbed into the cart, whipped the horse with a rod and left the yard for a ride. And he was in a fighting mood today - he wanted to ride far away.

And so he rides through the woods and whips his black skate so that he runs faster.

Mikhail Zoshchenko

Stories for children

smart animals

Elephants and monkeys are said to be very intelligent animals. But other animals aren't stupid either. Here, look what smart animals I saw.

smart goose

One goose was walking in the yard and found a dry crust of bread.

Here the goose began to peck this crust with its beak in order to break it and eat it. But the crust was very dry. And the goose couldn't break it. And the goose did not dare to swallow the whole crust at once, because this, probably, was not good for the goose's health.

Then I wanted to break this crust so that it would be easier for the goose to eat. But the goose would not let me touch its rind. He must have thought I wanted to eat it myself.

Then I stepped aside and see what happens next.

Suddenly the goose takes this crust with its beak and goes to the puddle.

He puts this crust in a puddle. The crust becomes soft in water. And then the goose eats it with pleasure.

It was a smart goose. But the fact that he didn't let me break the crust shows that he wasn't all that smart. Not that he was a fool, but he was still a little behind in his mental development.

smart chicken

One chicken was walking in the yard with chickens. She has nine little chickens.

Suddenly, a shaggy dog ​​ran up from somewhere.

This dog crept up on the chickens and grabbed one.

Then all the other chickens got scared and rushed in all directions.

Kura, too, was very frightened at first and ran. But then he looks - what a scandal: the dog is holding her little chicken in her teeth. And probably wants to eat it.

Then the chicken boldly ran up to the dog. She jumped up a little and pecked the dog painfully in the eye.

The dog opened its mouth in surprise. And the chicken was released. And he quickly ran away. And the dog looked at who pecked her in the eye.

And when she saw the chicken, she became angry and rushed at her. But then the owner ran up, grabbed the dog by the collar and took it away with him.

And the chicken, as if nothing had happened, gathered all her chickens, counted them, and again began to walk around the yard.

It was a very smart chicken.

Silly thief and smart pig

At the dacha of our owner there was a piglet. And the owner closed this piglet in a barn for the night so that no one would steal it.

But one thief still wanted to steal this pig.

He broke the lock at night and made his way into the barn.

And piglets always squeal very loudly when they are picked up. So the thief took a blanket with him.

And as soon as the piglet wanted to squeal, the thief quickly wrapped him in a blanket and quietly walked out of the shed with him.

Here is a pig squealing and floundering in a blanket. But the owners do not hear his screams, because it was a thick blanket. And the thief wrapped the pig very tightly.

Suddenly the thief feels that the pig is no longer moving in the blanket. And he stopped screaming. And lies without any movement.

The thief thinks:

“Maybe I twirled it with the blanket very tightly. And maybe the poor little pig suffocated there.”

The thief quickly unfolded the blanket to see what was happening with the piglet, and the piglet would jump out of his hands, how it would squeal, how it would rush to the side.

Here the owners came running. They caught the thief.

Vor says:

- Oh, what a pig this cunning piglet is. He must have pretended to be dead on purpose so I could let him out. Or maybe he fainted from fear.

The owner says to the thief:

“No, my piglet didn’t faint, but it was he who pretended to be dead on purpose so that you would untie the blanket.” This is a very smart pig, thanks to which we caught the thief.

Very smart horse

In addition to the goose, chicken and pig, I saw many more intelligent animals. And I will tell you about this later.

In the meantime, I must say a few words about smart horses.

Dogs eat boiled meat.

Cats drink milk and eat birds. Cows eat grass. Bulls also eat grass and butt people. Tigers, these impudent animals, eat raw meat. Monkeys eat nuts and apples. Chickens peck crumbs and various garbage.

Can you tell me what the horse eats?

The horse eats such healthy food that children eat.

Horses eat oats. And oats are oatmeal and oats.

And children eat oatmeal and oatmeal, and thanks to this they are strong, healthy and courageous.

No, horses are not fools for eating oats.

Horses are very smart animals because they eat such a healthy baby food. In addition, horses love sugar, which also shows that they are not stupid.

smart bird

One boy was walking in the forest and found a nest. And in the nest sat tiny naked chicks. And they squeaked.

They were probably waiting for their mother to fly in and feed them worms and flies.

Here the boy was delighted that he had found such glorious chicks, and he wanted to take one to bring him home.

As soon as he stretched out his hand to the chicks, when suddenly some feathered bird fell from a tree like a stone at his feet.

She fell and lay in the grass.

The boy wanted to grab this bird, but it jumped a little, jumped on the ground and ran off to the side.

Then the boy ran after her. “Probably,” he thinks, “this bird has hurt its wing, and therefore it cannot fly.”

As soon as the boy approached this bird, and she again jumped, jumped on the ground and again ran back a little.

The boy follows her again. The bird flew up a little and again sat down in the grass.

Then the boy took off his hat and wanted to cover the bird with this hat.

As soon as he ran up to her, she suddenly fluttered and flew away.

The boy was directly angry with this bird. And he went back as soon as possible to take at least one chick for himself.

And suddenly the boy sees that he has lost the place where the nest was, and cannot find it in any way.

Then the boy realized that this bird had deliberately fallen from the tree and purposely ran along the ground in order to take the boy away from its nest.

So the boy did not find the chick.

He gathered some wild strawberries, ate them and went home.

Clever dog

I had a big dog. Her name was Jim.

It was a very expensive dog. It cost three hundred rubles.

And in the summer, when I lived in the country, some thieves stole this dog from me. They lured her with meat and took her away with them.

So I searched, searched for this dog and did not find it anywhere.

And so I once came to the city to my city apartment. And I sit there, grieving that I lost such a wonderful dog.

Suddenly I hear someone on the stairs call.

I open the door. And you can imagine - my dog ​​is sitting in front of me on the playground.

And some upstairs tenant says to me:

- Oh, what a smart dog you have - she just called herself. She poked her muzzle into the electric bell and rang for you to open the door for her.

It's a pity that dogs can't talk. Otherwise, she would tell who stole her and how she got into the city. Probably, the thieves brought it by train to Leningrad and wanted to sell it there. But she ran away from them and, probably, ran through the streets for a long time until she found her familiar house, where she lived in the winter.

Then she climbed the stairs to the fourth floor. She lay at our door. Then she sees that no one opens it, she took it and called.

Ah, I was very glad that my dog ​​was found, kissed her and bought her a big piece of meat.

Relatively smart cat

One housewife left on business and forgot that she had a cat in the kitchen.

And the cat had three kittens that had to be fed all the time.

Our cat got hungry and started looking for something to eat.

And there was no food in the kitchen.

Then the cat went out into the corridor. But she also did not find anything good in the corridor.

Then the cat came up to one room and felt through the door that something pleasant smelled there. And then the cat paw began to open this door.

And in this room lived an aunt who was terribly afraid of thieves.

And now this aunt sits by the window, eats pies and trembles with fear.

And suddenly she sees that the door to her room quietly opens.

The aunt, frightened, says:

- Oh, who's there?

But no one answers.

The aunt thought it was thieves, opened the window and jumped out into the yard.

And it's good that she, a fool, lived on the first floor, otherwise she probably would have broken her leg or something. And then she only got a little hurt and bloodied her nose.

Here the aunt ran to call the janitor, and in the meantime our cat opened the door with her paw, found four pies on the window, ate them and again went to the kitchen to her kittens.

Here comes the janitor with his aunt. And he sees that there is no one in the apartment.

The janitor was angry with the aunt - why did she call him in vain - scolded her and left.

And the aunt sat down by the window and again wanted to do pies. And suddenly he sees: there are no pies.

The aunt thought that it was she who ate them herself and forgot from fear. And then she went to bed hungry.

And in the morning the hostess arrived and began to carefully feed the cat.

Mikhail Mikhailovich Zoshchenko(1894 - 1958) - Russian Soviet writer, playwright, screenwriter and translator. Classic of Russian literature. In his works, Zoshchenko fought against ignorance, philistinism, cruelty and other human vices.

In this section of our site you will get acquainted with stories for children by Mikhail Zoshchenko. We have selected the best works from the cycles "Lelya and Minka" and "Smart Animals".

Zoshchenko's stories read

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