People and the causes of the constantly accumulating mess at home. Person's character

Chaos reigns at home, there is a constant mess in things and affairs. Interestingly, is this an innate property of character or an acquired defensive reaction? There is a category of people who have everything at home in a terrible mess. This gives them a lot of inconvenience, but all the attempts made to put everything in its place are in vain. Let's try to make out - what are they hiding behind these rubble?

The main reasons for this phenomenon can be:

• proof of its own existence. In this situation, a person in every possible way adds evidence of his own existence ("marks" his territory). One of the reasons for this phenomenon is the need to release feelings of helplessness or loneliness. But there is a possibility that with such a person you can agree to leave a place for someone else next to you.
• Lack of attention. In this case, a person uses the mess he has created to attract additional attention from others. He asks for help in finding "lost" things, while he evokes sympathy and pity of those around him so much that they stop all their business and begin to help him. So people who are not very confident in themselves receive additional support, which they lack in life.
• Lack of desire to grow up. The habit of constant disorder is "born in childhood." Scattered everywhere books, magazines, deposits of things, a pile of unwashed dishes - this is a sign that characterizes the children of too pedantic parents. From their excessive desire for order, there is only one salvation - their own disorder. Grown-up sluts refuse to follow the generally accepted concepts of cleanliness and order, considering them to be just unnecessary conventions that vividly remind them of the time when practically the only phrase parents used to communicate with their children was: "Clean the room!". Mess, as a means of avoiding adult responsibility for your life, leaves a ghostly hope that someone will solve your problems for you. For example, clean up the kitchen, on the desktop, pay the bills, allow you to continue to demonstrate your own helplessness.
• Constant anxiety. Sometimes the death of a loved one or even a beloved animal, a divorce or breakup of a relationship can lead a person to a complete reluctance to clean up the house - this sometimes accompanies depression. The mess at home literally sucks a person, drowns him in anxiety attacks and his own past. There is only one way out - to urgently start freeing up space, throwing out the unnecessary and putting in order the valuable, in order to free up space at home and your own inner space for everything new, more joyful and giving love.

If any of the above is about you and you want to fix it:

• Refuse forever to help others in finding the things you need, by doing this you will deprive yourself of emotional "positive" reinforcement, additional attention from others to your person and, possibly, lose the main reason leading to disorder.
• Come up with a "delicious" stimulus, for example - you want to calmly approach the desktop or the kitchen sink (not through the rubble), you want to finally receive guests.
• Trying to remove everything at once will remain attempts, start with something that will not plunge you into a panic. First, take out the trash, wash the dishes, sort out some of the things that you are wearing right now, arrange books and magazines.
• You have already tried all of the above, but there is no more order in the apartment - it means that your internal disorder has very deep roots and you will have to sort out your memories, related fears, emotions. Those. shake up the past. On your own or with the help of a specialist.

If you live next to such a person, then in no case take the position of a parent in relation to your partner, fueling his guilt. Look at the situation with humor, come to an agreement: "I'll cook something delicious, and you clean up the table". In this way, you will soon find mutual understanding and keep peace and love in the family.

It is difficult for a person who is in an uncomfortable environment to do their usual things. The mess in the apartment significantly reduces the productivity of work and the quality of rest. Even the ancient monks believed that clutter was an uncomfortable environment for meditation. However, this phenomenon has psychological reasons.

in the House

There are people who were brought up by sloppy parents. They often ask: "What makes an apartment a mess?" This is a large number of things that are not in their places. For example: clothes that are scattered all over the room, mountains of dirty dishes, garbage on the floor, pieces of paper from food, and so on. A photo of a mess in an apartment of a clean person will shock you. After all, for him, every room in the house has its own meaning and affects the morale.

Why there is chaos

Hard-working people simply do not have time to clean because of the busy work schedule. However, in any free time, a clean person would put things in order in his house. Common causes of mess:

1. Protest against surrounding people and distressing situations. A person perceives cleaning as submission. Therefore, his apartment is constantly a mess. This is influenced by the upbringing by strict and clean parents who forced their children to clean the room all the time against their will.
2. Irresponsibility. The sloppy owner in the apartment is constantly a mess. He shifts his responsibilities to other family members. Such people try not to be responsible for their own mistakes and actions, shifting the blame to others.
3. Clutter reflects psychological problems that even folk wisdom speaks of. This is confirmed by the famous phrase: "A mess in the head is a mess in the apartment." People in this way unconsciously demonstrate to others their defenselessness and weakness in the hope that someone will help.
4. Fatigue. It happens that the owner constantly does not have enough energy to clean. This can happen due to heavy work or study loads. Gradually, a habit will be formed to do without cleaning.

Clutter causes stress in a person, it is difficult for him to be in such an environment for a long time. The mess can even cause some mental disorders.

Psychological reasons

The mess observed in the room indicates serious internal conflicts of the inhabitant of this room. In rare cases, this is one of the symptoms of a mental disorder, such as depression. Psychology of a mess in an apartment:

• Not enough attention. A mess is a great way to get people around you to clean up. A person lacks attention, and he asks his friends or relatives to help with cleaning. They agree to this, which gives extra time and support to their friend.
• Reluctance to become an adult. Some children were brought up in families where parents loved cleanliness too much. They could always force their heirs to wash dishes, sweep and put things in their places. However, most children do not like this scenario, so the mess for them is salvation. With the help of disorder, they protest, as well as unwillingness to obey their parents. Such a child, after growing up, will at all consider that a person does not need order at all. Also, a mess is a sign of a psychologically immature person. Such people, on a subconscious level, have the hope that someone will clean for them. They simply blame their problems on others, which speaks of irresponsibility.
• Loneliness. When a person makes a mess around him, it means that he feels helpless and abandoned. Therefore, others do not need to ask why a friend has a mess in his apartment, you should just go to his aid. If people scatter things, then they want to declare their existence.

By disorder, a person unconsciously shows others that he is not doing well, as it seems. Relatives and friends need to pay more attention to such people. This may have a positive effect on them.

Serious mental problems

The disorder can appear in people who suffer from psychological disorders. Sometimes these can be serious illnesses. These include:

• Anxious state. In life, events happen that knock a person out of his rut. For example: death of a relative, divorce, litigation, and so on. This leads to anxiety, which forces you to focus on experiences. People stop taking care of themselves and cleaning their homes.
• Depression. In this state, a person loses meaning and interest in everything around him. He develops apathy, the desire to perform simple household tasks disappears. This is reflected in the order in his house. A depressed person loses strength and cannot keep his room clean.
• Schizophrenia. This is a very serious mental disorder. A person suffering from this disease ceases to monitor his appearance, becomes apathetic and does not perform simple household tasks. Serious deviations in the work of the brain are reflected in the disorder in the house.

A mess is not always a reflection of a person's laziness. Sometimes this can indicate serious mental disorders. Such problems require serious treatment with specialists.

What does a mess in the kitchen mean

This place is the most important in the house. After all, in the kitchen a person prepares food, eats food and stores energy. A mess in the kitchen is, first of all, a neglect of hygiene and cleanliness. Such an environment deprives a person of a sense of comfort and protection.

Mess in the toilet

If the restroom is in a dirty state, then this means that a person has problems in relationships, at work. The mess interferes with personal life. Also, the mess in the toilet suppresses intuition and insight. If a person does not maintain cleanliness, but simply closes the door, then this indicates attempts to hide his life from prying eyes.

Mess in the bathroom

For most people, a new day begins in this room, in which a person brushes his teeth, bathes and performs daily hygiene procedures. The mess in the bathroom says that a person does not pay attention to himself. It also indicates a low self-esteem of the owner. A well-maintained bathroom helps during stressful situations. If order and cleanliness reign in it, people try to take better care of themselves and be more beautiful.

Mess in the bedroom

This place in the apartment is designed for relaxation and solitude. In the bedroom, a person replenishes energy, restarts the body for new achievements and achievements. An untidy room takes all the strength from the people resting in it. On a psychological level, in a messy environment, a person cannot get rid of stress and fully restore his strength.

Mess in the living room and dining room

In these rooms, people gather with their family or friends to socialize and have a good time. In an environment of disorder, it is impossible to fully do this. Psychologists recommend keeping these rooms utterly clean. After all, it is here that all discussions or the exchange of pleasant impressions take place. Friends are extremely unpleasant to be in a mess, because of this they may stop visiting.

Uncleaned corridor

This is one of the most important parts of the apartment. The mess in the corridor prevents a person from moving around all the rooms. Psychologically, the mess reflects that the owner is not confident in his actions, and it is easy for him to encounter difficulties at work or in relationships. Even dim lighting indicates poor interaction with the outside world.

How to clean up the mess in the apartment

Everyone is capable of keeping an apartment clean. To do this, it is enough to form such a habit. After all, it’s not clean where they clean it, but where they don’t litter. Best Clutter Control Rules:

• Washing dishes after eating. If a lot of appliances are collected in the sink, a person has even less desire to clean them. After all, there are a lot of dishes, the food dries on it, because of this, washing is inconvenient.
• Newspapers and letters should be looked at immediately upon receipt. It happens that a person postpones this activity for another time, which is why mountains of waste paper can accumulate. If you review it and put it in a closet or bedside table, the room will become much cleaner.
• Needed after waking up. With the onset of morning, a person feels still sleepy and puts off this action, often forgetting about it. After labor day it makes no sense to make the bed, because soon go to bed. This is how chaos is created. To keep your bedroom clean, the first step is to make your bed every morning.
• Need to free up space. The apartment is constantly a mess may be due to a large number of unnecessary things. A person needs to distribute all clothes and objects in their places. Some of them can be thrown away. It can be unnecessary books, spoiled gadgets, clothes, and so on. A person should not regret what he does not need. When a lot of items are collected in some place, they must be immediately put away in their places.
• The kitchen table should be cleaned immediately after the completion of the cooking process and the lunch meal.

Many people put off small things for later, and because of this, a mess gradually arises. A person must clean up the process: put the phone back, take out the accumulated garbage, put dirty things in the washing machine, and so on. Performing small tasks, people step towards a permanent order and cleanliness in the house.

Light cleaning rules

Putting things in order in the house is perceived as a routine and tedious task. Some people just do not know how to get rid of the mess in the apartment. However, you can make cleaning easy and interesting. For this you need:

• Ask for help from those around you. If a person lives with a family, then he can involve relatives in cleaning. With them, the process of restoring order will be fun. In addition, the cleaning process will be reduced in time by two or three times.
• Good mood. For a better mood, the owners turn on music throughout the house. It uplifts the mood and makes cleaning interesting and fun. Also, a person can listen to an audiobook, combining pleasant listening with useful tidying up.
• Developed plan. For the efficiency of the process, it is advisable to pre-plan its sequence and determine for yourself which rooms and actions you need to start cleaning from.
• Visited places. For example, a cooker or workplace must be cleaned every day. After all, in these places trash and garbage accumulates the most. You do not need to leave these places until otherwise you can spend a lot of time on them.

Each person can put things in order in his apartment. To do this, you need to realize the problem of the mess and understand its causes. Further, the habit of cleaning will form very quickly, and this process will begin to give pleasure to the owner and the people around him.

Mess in the house - only a reflection of our inner life. We are sure of it Melva Green And Lauren Rosenfield, book authors “Breathe freely. How clutter at home can help you sort yourself out. It is useless to study storage systems, it is not enough to be able to. In order for order to reign in the house, you need a careful analysis of all the accumulated rubbish, a leisurely cleaning, during which you can not only part with unnecessary things, but also create space for a new life.

At its core, getting rid of trash is a deep spiritual practice that helps you get closer to your loved ones and to yourself.

We have selected some universal tips from the book that will help you make your home cozy and find peace of mind.

Come up with symbolic words for each room

Any room in the house - it is not only a functional room where we eat, sleep, wash, work or communicate with households and guests. It is also our little universe, the center of our unique life. There must be something special, attractive in it.

Before you start cleaning, the authors of the book advise you to choose at least three symbolic words for each room that describe the atmosphere you want to create in them. For example, words for the bedroom - "rest, relaxation, love", for the kitchen - "creativity, inspiration, comfort", for the living room - "communication, light, appeasement." Such formulations will help in the cleaning process: after all, it is important not only to get rid of trash, but also to decide what exactly you want to achieve.

Creating an atmosphere becomes the goal of designers and architects. You should approach your home space in the same way.

Take a look at the interior

In order to clearly understand what items and things to get rid of, Melva Green and Lauren Rosenfield suggest doing some simple but very effective exercises.

For the hallway: walk out the door, and then enter as if you were a guest who came here for the first time. What is the first thing that catches your eye? What feeling comes over you? What prevents you from experiencing positive emotions? Remove those things that turned out to be “superfluous” and caused discomfort. Head out the door again. Do this until you realize that the hallway is filled with life, not rubbish.

For the kitchen: Grab your favorite cookbooks and plan a dinner that's a real treat. Do not deny yourself anything, think over each dish. After planning your menu, go through each recipe and get all the tools you need to prepare such a dinner: pots, bowls, blenders, spatulas. Lay out on the table. And pause. If that's all you need for the perfect dinner, why do you need the rest?

Throw away unwanted items with empathy

As with any business, the right attitude is important for cleaning. The authors of the book advise against treating the process as a life-or-death battle: “Under the influence of adrenaline, we cannot act intelligently and think rationally.” It's best to treat unnecessary things with delicate participation and even sympathy. You can even speak kindly to them, "How did you get here?", "Let's get out of here and get you back to where you should be."

When touching a thing, try to evoke in your soul the sympathy that you feel for a lost child. To some items you will say, “You are in the wrong room. I know where you'll be better." Such things are sent to the box "for migrants". You will address others with the words: “You have wandered too far. You don't belong here, but I know we'll find you a home." These things go in a "charity" box.

Avoid negative emotions

There are only two types of emotions - absorbing (negative) and replenishing (positive). The goal of decluttering is to watch for absorbing emotions and prevent them from materializing in the home.

How many things do you keep to yourself because of guilt, regret, anxiety, and fear? It is extremely important to understand how much space these emotions occupy in life. If we are going to get rid of them, we must know what power they have over us. Now take these things away: donate, recycle, send to the landfill. The choice is yours, but you must say goodbye to the overwhelming emotions that these things cause!

Leave no secret places

Everyone in the house has such places where mountains of rubbish are hidden from prying eyes. You must pull out the contents of all the caches, deal with it and never hide anything anywhere again. As much as you would like it. The house simply should not have "secret" places.

You need to rid your home and your life of dubious things. It's not enough to get them out of sight. They will remain in your mind. Even if no one knows about their existence, these things will consume you.

Don't be afraid of empty space

Most people are afraid of empty space in the house, even a small one: emptiness is perceived as a flaw. "I'm willing to bet that your house - whether it is a studio apartment of twenty-seven square meters or a huge mansion - filled with things - written by Melva Green and Lauren Rosenfield. - Every flat surface is lined with objects. Each box is filled with a different little thing. Every closet is full. Nothing surprising. From an early age, we see that this is how these spaces are used. It seems counterintuitive to do otherwise. We are so used to it that we instinctively fill in any empty space.”

And, indeed, if we find an unoccupied space, the first thing we do - find something to do with him or worse - mindlessly fill it up with a bunch of rubbish. But try to leave it as it is, loose and breathable. In the end, you make room not for things.

Stick to the idea that not every place has to be filled or filled with something.

We have been taught superficial notions of symmetry.

Life is indeed unpredictable and chaotic, although it seems to us that if everything is "organized", then it will be much better.

But in reality it's the other way around. For example, you think that you need to buy a few more pants in order to have enough "for all time". You buy. And then it turns out that all things no longer fit in the closet. And he's just doomed to mess. Thus, by creating "order" in one place, you immediately create disorder in another.

You decide to throw everything you don't need into the trash can. At home, it seems like “order” turned out, but the world as a whole has become dirtier.

Here is what the physicist Adam Frank has to say about this:

"This is the law of physics. The harsh truth of life is that the universe itself is chaos. How can you put things in order at home or in your life if it is contrary to the nature of the universe?

In fact, no matter how much we try to keep our lives in order, and the house in order, nothing comes of it. Disorder is always here and there.

What to do? Say yes to the chaotic nature of this world. Humble yourself.

People who always have a mess at home are stigmatized. To those around them, they seem apathetic and leading a "wrong" life. But that's just not true!

Disorganized people are better than everyone else. If only because they do not allow the false illusion of order to dictate their daily routine.

Jim Morrison spoke well on this subject:

"I'm interested in rebellion, in chaos, in chaos. It seems to me that this is the path to freedom."

This does not mean that every aspect of your life needs to be plunged into chaos.

Being organized is sometimes important and even helpful. But you have no right to judge people who live in disorder. Believe me: order is greatly overrated.

People who have a constant mess at home are not lazy. They are creative and bold.

Common sense tells us that cleanliness is the key to efficiency and productivity, but this is not the case.

"Clutter is not necessarily a sign of lack of system. You can work more efficiently at a table on which everything is scattered than at a clean one. When a person has a mess on his desk, this does not mean that he does not work well. It means that he works so well, that he just has no time to get out."

In other words, clutter may actually be a sign of efficiency, not carelessness.

PhD from the University of Minnesota, Kathleen Vohs, conducted a study and proved that people who are prone to throwing things around and accumulating garbage are actually more creative than everyone else.

Within this scientific work Vohs conducted one curious experiment. She divided 48 volunteers into two groups and asked them to find original ways using a ping pong ball. One half of the participants in the experiment were placed in a clean, tidy room, the other half in a dirty one. In the end, both groups came up with an equal number of ideas, but the second, according to the results independent evaluation other students proved to be more innovative and creative.

Vohs concludes:

"We all want to be more creative, have more insights. My advice to you is if you're having a stupor, move to a dirty room. This will allow you to go beyond the usual perception and produce faster fresh ideas. Order is the result of our desire for security, chaos is the result of our desire for a creative rethinking of the world."

Clutter, of course, has long been closely associated with creative genius.

Disorganization and untidiness are condemned in society, but most of the great minds have lived in such conditions all their lives: Albert Einstein, Alan Turing, Ronald Dahl. Even JK Rowling can't clean her apartment!

They all achieved greatness, despite the fact that their whole life was full of chaos.

In general, if your parents punished you for not wanting to clean your room, then they made a mistake. Society ignores the hidden benefits of chaos.

It takes courage to break the rules and live in your creative mess.

Albert Einstein once remarked:

"If a mess on the table means a mess in the head, then what does an empty table mean?"

Creative people see the whole picture of their life, and do not get hung up on its individual details. They go with the flow, not against the current. They easily adapt to changes. They know that the time resource is too limited to spend it on boring things like cleaning.

The simplicity and beauty of life is more important than visible "success" and artificial "discipline". Passion is better than boredom.

Life is a disheveled, unpredictable and wonderful gift. Enjoy the trip.

Few people remain indifferent at the sight of a clean, tastefully decorated home. Such a house evokes thoughts of comfort and harmony. However, among us there are many who find it difficult or even impossible to maintain order in the house. Living with such a reality every day, the owners experience a spectrum of all sorts of feelings - from shame to complete apathy. But there are those who, without losing hope, are trying to figure out the mysteries of their own or someone else's behavior.

So, a few years ago, I was seriously puzzled by this question. In total, I counted 12 reasons why a mess can firmly sit in your home, and most of them are really related to psychological problems. So let's get started!

1. Just you not taught to keep the house in order. This is not psychology, but quite a household skill that parents had to instill in science to their children. Most likely, in most of our families, cleaning was carried out according to the “hands-on” method, that is, “Guests are coming!”, “I will finally throw this rubbish away!” or "Aren't you ashamed to be overgrown with mud?!" This is a destructive presentation of putting things in order, and only a few know about the existence of a technique of order and cleanliness. And even fewer are able to methodically pass this technique on to their descendants.

2. emotional immaturity. This is closer to psychological problems. Many people know what is needed for full physical development. These are nutrition, sports, sun and others. physical factors. What does it take for a child to develop emotionally? The question is harder! In the meantime, from early childhood, the child must be taught to think that he is a full-fledged member of society, who is able to take care of himself and others. In practice, however, often everyday duties, such as washing dishes, for example, are used for the purpose of punishment, which forms a negative attitude towards work. Or, on the contrary, the child is protected from any household duties in favor of studying or, even worse, entertainment: "He will still have time to work out." This is a sure way to raise an overgrown child who, at any opportunity, will shirk from work.

3. Attention to your person- the first full-fledged sign of psychological inferiority! Or one more children's way manipulation. “I can’t put on socks!”, “I can’t warm up dinner!”, “I can’t find mittens!” - “Oh, you are mine, good - let me put it on, warm it up, find it!”. And in adulthood, this goes on a large scale: money is lost, bills are not paid, the soup on the stove turns sour. In general, in any way you need to show that I am helpless, and therefore I need a “nanny” who will clean, find, serve for me.

4. Protest- this is another "hello" from childhood. Destructive ways of accustoming to order, in which rigidity, inconsistency or aggression prevailed, can result in teenage rebellion. Often this rebellion migrates into adulthood under the slogan: "I'm already an adult, I live as I want." And “I want” in defiance of the parent, that is, in disarray. Thus, a person of such a warehouse with his chaos continues to prove that he has the right to disobey his parents. Of course, there is also emotional immaturity involved here.

5. family stereotype can also interfere with a person to deal with his home. If people lived in disorder from generation to generation, while maintaining a favorable emotional climate, a person needs the same mess to feel at home.

6. Lack of ownership(toys, clothes, books) in childhood contributes to hoarding in adulthood. A person experiences a subconscious fear of returning to a state of lack of everything again, therefore he does not part with the accumulated, although unnecessary.

7. Attachment to the past also prevents a person from parting with blockages in the house. Every thing in their life is like a good friend that hurts to part with. Afraid of losing touch with the past, such people often experience fear of the future.

8.Dislike for housing blocks all attempts to start a clean life. Often the condition of a rented apartment or the life of a spouse’s parents is very depressing. No wonder, few people want to invest in someone else's property or adapt to the old man's customs.

9. If you did not learn to respect themselves- this is another way not only to trash, but also to slovenliness in appearance. The main argument of a person who does not respect himself: “Yes, it will do for me!” If you use this phrase at least occasionally, you should probably learn a little more about self-esteem, then order will come to the house faster.

10. emotional experiences do not allow a person to live in cleanliness and comfort. “I throw things around like I'm under hypnosis,” admits 30-year-old Anya. "I don't understand how this works!" In a state of emotional crisis, a person experiences a shift in priorities. Negative thoughts and feelings should have their place - like any object in the house - used, and then removed from sight. If you forgot to remove it or didn’t want to, then both negative experiences and clutter in the house begin to fill our lives. Thus, when we stop “tidying up our heads,” we stop tidying up the house.

11. Depression- This is a disease characterized by a decrease in mental and physical activity. With depression, a person loses motivation, which leads to clutter at home, and clutter at home, in turn, plunges into depression even more.

12. mental problems a frequent companion of a neglected home. For example, the so-called "Plyushkin's syndrome" is considered incurable. A person drags, mainly, all rubbish from the garbage heap, up to the complete filling of his housing. This is the most extreme and perhaps hopeless case.

The best part is that most of the causes of chronic home clutter are manageable! Each case requires individual approach and decent motivation, but it is possible to accustom yourself to order.