Communication problem refers to the basic categories of psychological science, as well as the categories of "reflection" and "activity". These categories are interrelated and interdependent. They are mediated by mental, i.e., cognitive processes (sensation, perception, representation, imagination, memory, speech, attention, thinking). In the process of communication, a mutual exchange of activities, their methods and results, ideas, ideas, attitudes, interests, feelings, etc. is carried out. The result of communication is developing relationships with other people. Thus, communication acts as a specific form of human interaction with other people, as the interaction of subjects. Not just an action, not just the impact of one subject on another, but precisely interaction.

Communication requires at least two people, each of which acts precisely as a subject. In dialogue communication, two concepts converge, two points of view, two equal voices. The great merit of Vasily Aleksandrovich Sukhomlinsky, as noted by L. A. Petrovskaya, lies in the development of the concept of dialogue communication, which contains the rational grain of socio-psychological training. dialogue communication, in the understanding of V. A. Sukhomlinsky, implies the equality of the positions of the pupil and educator (student and teacher). The equality of these positions is expressed in the recognition of the active role of the student, pupil in the educational process, in which the activities of the student and teacher are equal, equivalent, and knowledge of the world occurs through self-consciousness of the student's personality, through his self-knowledge, self-expression, self-education.

The most important concept used in the description of individual activity and dialogue communication is motive(more precisely, "motive-goal"). When even a simple variant of communication between two individuals is considered, it is inevitably found that each of them, entering into communication, has his own motive.

As a rule, the motives of those who communicate do not coincide. Similarly, their goals do not coincide. Motives and goals in communication can either converge or diverge significantly.

Example. The teacher and the student's parents meet. The teacher's motive is to inform parents about negligence in the pupil's teaching in order to influence him with the help of parents. But this motive and purpose can be misunderstood by parents or completely misunderstood. So, in some cases, parents may perceive the teacher's information as a biased attitude towards their child, persecution for minor offenses, low grades, etc. The behavior of parents towards the teacher and their child will also be adequate to this.

By the way, about the attitude to evaluation problem. The assessment of knowledge, according to V. A. Sukhomlinsky, is a necessary and at the same time very subtle and dangerous weapon. The ability to use assessment expresses the pedagogical skill of the teacher. The task of testing knowledge, skills and abilities is to strengthen an optimistic attitude to life, student work. As you know, in the Pavlyshev school, the director of which was V. A. Sukhomlinsky, junior schoolchildren were not given twos. They were simply excluded from the student's arsenal of scoring. “The deuce,” said V. A. Sukhomlinsky, “is the most subtle instrument that can be resorted to in exceptional cases. Our principle not to give two marks and not to catch a child in ignorance is aimed at arousing the student's interest in knowledge. If the assessment ceases to play an educational role, in which the child would strive to know, then the school ceases to be a beacon of knowledge, the teaching turns into a burden and hard labor for the child, the teacher into an evil overseer, the diary into a stigma, the father and mother into executioners punishing for laziness and negligence.

Recently, Dale Carnegie has gained great popularity in influencing a person in the process of communication. His books “How to win friends and influence people”, “How to develop self-confidence by speaking in public”, etc. are widely known. His books have been repeatedly reprinted in many countries of the world. The popularity of D. Carnegie has increased so much that publications with variations of authors on such topics began to appear: “How to pick up a girl”, “How to lasso a guy”, “How to manage your boss”, etc. However, D. Carnegie does not slip into entertainment, but poses problematic issues in his books, gives recommendations on issues of communication and effective influence on people. The following is one example of conversational communication from his book How to Win Friends and Influence People.

I want to tell you... a story about how the business people who took my courses applied the principles taught to them with exceptional results. Take, for a start, the case of a Connecticut lawyer who, to spare the feelings of his relatives, prefers not to be named. Let's call him Mr. R. Shortly after entering the course, he went with his wife by car to Long Island to visit her relatives. She left him to chat with her old aunt, while she herself ran to visit some of the young relatives. Since he was to give a lecture in class on his application of the principle of recognition of the dignity of others, he decided to start with this old woman and began to look around the house, trying to see something that he could sincerely admire. "This house was built around 1890, wasn't it?" - he asked. “Yes,” she replied, “it was then that it was built.” “It reminds me of the house where I was born,” he said. - Great house. Good proportions. Spacious. Now such houses are no longer being built. “You are right,” the old lady agreed with him. “In our time, young people do not appreciate beautiful houses. All they need is to get a small apartment with a refrigerator, and then they drive off somewhere in their cars.

Then she led her guest around the house, and he expressed sincere admiration for all the beautiful treasures that she had acquired during her travels and treasured all her life: shawls from the city of Paisley, old English tea sets, Wedgwood china, French beds and chairs, Italian paintings and silk draperies that once hung in some French castle. “After she showed me the house,” says R., “she took me to the garage. There was a Packard car hanging on blocks - almost new.

“My husband bought this car shortly before his death,” she said quietly. “After his death, I never drove it ... You know a lot about good things, and I want to give you this car.” “What are you, aunt,” I protested. “You are too kind. I appreciate, of course, your generosity, but I can hardly take advantage of it. After all, I'm not even related to you. I have a new car, and you have many relatives who would like to have this Packard.

"Native! - she exclaimed. – Yes, I have relatives who are just waiting for me to die to get this car. But they won't get it."

“If you don't want to give it to them, you can very easily sell it to a used car dealer,” I said. "Sell her!" she cried. Do you think I will ever sell this car? Do you think I can handle strangers driving down the street in a car my husband bought for me? It wouldn't even occur to me to sell it. I will give it to you. You understand beautiful things."

He tried to evade the unexpected gift, but he couldn't do it without offending the old lady.

Left all alone in the big house with her Paisley shawls, French antiques and memories, this old lady was hungry for a little attention. At one time she was young, beautiful and desirable. She once built a house warmed by love and collected things from all over Europe to decorate it. Now, in her lonely old age, she longed for a little human warmth, a little sincere attention, but no one gave her any. And when she found that warmth and attention, like a spring in the desert, she couldn't express her gratitude for anything less than a Packard car.

Before considering the structural elements of communication, it is important to clarify what place the category of "communication" occupies in the process of socialization of the individual.

Personality socialization- this is the process of assimilation and active reproduction by an individual of social experience, as a result of which he becomes a person and acquires the knowledge, skills, skills and habits necessary for life among people.

From this general definition, we can conclude that the socialization of a personality is a process of assimilation and active reproduction of social experience by a person and includes the development by a human individual of human relations, social norms of behavior necessary for productive interaction with other people.

The main areas of personality socialization are activities, communication and self-consciousness (Fig. 1).

Activity is a dynamic system of interaction between the subject and the world. A person, having revealed his psychological properties in his activity, acts as a subject in relation to things and objects, and as a personality in relation to people. Things, objects appear before him as objects, and people as individuals.

Each relatively completed element of activity aimed at performing one simple task is called action (objective or mental). Each objective action consists of certain movements.

Main activities(from childhood to the end of the life cycle) is considered to be game, study And work. Labor is an activity aimed at the production of certain socially useful material or spiritual goods.

Unmotivated, as well as non-purposeful activity simply does not exist. B. F. Lomov drew attention to this: “Motives and a goal form a kind of vector of activity that determines its direction, as well as the amount of effort developed by the subject during its implementation. This vector acts as a system-forming factor that organizes the entire system of mental processes and states that are formed in the course of activity. At the same time, the following elements are distinguished as “formative” activities: motive, goal, activity planning, processing of current information, operational image, conceptual model, decision making, actions, verification of the results obtained, correction of actions.

Motive - it is an incentive to activity associated with the satisfaction of certain needs. The goal, on the other hand, constructs a specific activity, determining its characteristics and dynamics. Thus, the motive refers to the need that stimulates activity, while the goal refers to the object to which the activity is directed and which, in the course of its implementation, must be transformed into a product. Let's explain this with the following example.

The entrepreneur set himself the task of creating a new enterprise for the processing of agricultural products. Be sure that all his activities will be aimed at achieving this goal. The leading motives in this activity may be, for example, cognitive interests in certain types of agricultural products and a propensity for entrepreneurship. The “motive-goal” vector for a businessman is the leading regulator of his activity, which determines the structure and dynamics of all components of this activity. In this movement of the components of activity, the abilities of a businessman, his interests, moral and volitional qualities develop. At this stage of his activity, the entrepreneur searches for and selects a business idea.

Thus, it is possible to give such a definition of activity as one of the spheres of socialization of the individual:

Activity- this is the internal (mental) and external (physical) activity of a person, regulated by a conscious goal.

The leading motives for learning activity, for example, for students of vocational schools, and indeed for most schoolchildren, are the motives of learning, the motives of work, that is, the orientation of students to various aspects of educational activity. If the activity of a schoolchild or a student of a vocational educational institution is aimed at working with an object (mathematical, biological, linguistic, etc.), then we can talk about various kinds of cognitive motives (orientation of students towards mastering new knowledge, mastering ways of obtaining knowledge, interest in methods of self-regulation of educational work, motives for self-education, etc.). If the activity of students is aimed at relationships with other people, then we are talking about various social motives (the desire to gain knowledge in order to be useful to the country, society; the desire to fulfill one's duty; the desire to prepare well for the chosen profession; the desire to take a certain position, place in relations with others, gain approval, gain authority from them, etc.). Obviously, when considering issues related to the social aspects of the formation of the personality of schoolchildren and students of professional educational institutions, it is social motives that should be borne in mind.

Another sphere of personality socialization is self-consciousness.

self-awareness or, in other words, the "I-concept" is a relatively stable conscious system of the individual's ideas about himself, on the basis of which he builds his interaction with other people and, accordingly, relates to himself. Thus, self-consciousness is an image of oneself and an attitude towards oneself.

The self-image includes three main components:

1) cognitive (cognitive) - self-knowledge (one's psychological qualities, abilities, appearance, social significance, etc.);

2) emotional - self-assessment, self-esteem (self-esteem, pride, selfishness, self-abasement, etc.);

3) behavioral (evaluative-volitional) - attitude towards oneself (the desire to increase self-esteem, gain respect, etc.).

All these three components act simultaneously and interconnectedly, causing a holistic idea of ​​the "I-image". As components of the "I-image" are:

¦ real "I"- the idea of ​​the individual about himself at the present time;

¦ ideal "I" what an individual, in his opinion, should become, focusing on moral standards;

¦ dynamic "I"- what the individual intends to become;

¦ fantastic "I"- what the individual would like to become if it were possible, etc.

Self-consciousness is not conceivable outside of activity. Only in activity is the correction of ideas about oneself carried out when compared with the idea that is formed in the eyes of others. Self-consciousness, not based on real activity, in the words of I. S. Kohn, comes to a standstill, becomes an “empty concept”.

A. N. Leontiev in the book “Activity, Consciousness, Personality” notes that the problem of the human “I” is one of those that elude scientific and psychological analysis. Take at least, for example, one side of the manifestation of "I". You can consider the "I" in several dimensions. First- "I" as the real essence of a person, as a real given of an individual with its structure, psychological and physiological organization of the personality. Second dimension“I” is what the person himself thinks about himself, that is, the essence of the “I” itself in the representation of a particular individual. Finally, third dimension“I” is what a given person thinks of himself as a person.

One of the characteristic aspects of a personality is its unique individuality, which is understood as a combination of psychological characteristics inherent only to it (temperament, character, abilities, motivation), a combination of prevailing feelings and motives of activity. There are no two individuals with the same combinations of these psychological qualities - a person's personality is unique in its individuality.

As an example dynamic"I" can lead to the process of performing by the same individual dissimilar roles, depending on certain circumstances. So, entering the management structures of an enterprise or firm, a business person often performs unequal functions in them, often plays dissimilar roles. A favorite of parents, a young man - a good boy, capricious and despotic, having got into a company for the first time, can behave in a completely different way, show modesty, unquestioning obedience to superiors. Or another example. A very serious, unsociable businessman in an office setting on vacation, on a hiking trip, he often transforms, becomes a joker and joker, the soul of the company. These examples show that a person in different conditions can play roles that are opposite in content.

The last component of the sphere of socialization of the individual is communication.

Communication is a complex multifaceted process of establishing and developing contacts between people, generated by the needs of joint activities and including the exchange of information, the development of a unified interaction strategy, the perception and understanding of another person.

From this definition, we can conclude that communication has three aspects of its manifestation: communicative, interactive And perceptual(Fig. 2).

The communicative side of communication manifested through the actions of the individual, consciously focused on their semantic perception by other people.

Interactive side of communication(interaction means interaction) is the interaction (and impact) of people with each other in the process of interpersonal relationships.

The perceptual side of communication(perception - perception) is manifested through the perception and evaluation by people of social objects (other people, themselves, groups, other social communities).

A brief description of the spheres of socialization of the individual and various aspects of communication leads us to the conclusion that there is an inextricable link between activity and communication. G. M. Andreeva notes that "an active person always communicates: his activity inevitably intersects with the activities of other people." Thus, activity through communication is not just organized, but enriched, as a result of which new connections and relationships between people are formed.

In domestic psychology, the idea of ​​unity and activity is accepted. This is reflected in the development of the principle of connection and organic unity of communication with activity (G. M. Andreeva, B. G. Ananiev, A. A. Bodalev, A. N. Leontiev, B. F. Lomov, V. N. Myasishchev and others .). Let's consider each side of the category of communication, bearing in mind that they all act interconnectedly, simultaneously, mutually conditioned each other. And at the same time, all three aspects of communication are included in the process of socialization of the individual.

The communicative side of communication

Features of the communicative side of communication

When they talk about communication as an exchange of information, they mean the communicative side of communication. The transfer of any information is carried out through sign systems, i.e. signs. The communicator (transmitting information) consciously focuses his actions on the semantic perception of the encoded information by other people (recipients). Information is transmitted by the communicator by means of verbal or non-verbal information. The recipient (receiving information) decodes it for meaningful perception of information.

In order to enable negotiating partners to understand each other, a unified system of meanings of sign systems should be developed, a thesaurus of concepts should be developed that allows communication individuals to correctly navigate in a certain field of knowledge. In the process of communication, the communicator and the recipient alternately change places: the communicator becomes the recipient, the recipient becomes the communicator. This is how dialogue is organized. It would seem tempting to describe the entire process of human communication in terms of information theory. However, as G. M. Andreeva notes, this approach cannot be called correct, since it omits some important characteristics of human communication. These characteristics boil down to the following.

1. In the communicative process, there is not just a movement of information, but an active exchange of it, in which the significance of a particular message plays a special role. And this is possible when the information is not just accepted, but also understood and comprehended. Mutual informing of two individuals, each of which acts in dialogue communication as an active subject, involves the establishment of joint activities.

2. The exchange of information necessarily involves a psychological impact on the partner in order to change his behavior. The effectiveness of communication is measured precisely by how successful this impact was. For purely informational purposes based on information theory, none of this happens.

3. Communicative influence as a result of information exchange is possible only when both participants in communication have a single or similar system of coding and decoding. In everyday speech, "everyone should speak the same language." But even knowing the meaning of the same words, people do not always understand them in the same way. The reasons for this are differences in the social, political, age, and professional characteristics of those who communicate.

4. In the conditions of human communication, so-called communication barriers periodically arise, which are of a social and psychological nature. The reasons for this are differences in the worldview, attitude and worldview of the communicants, their psychological characteristics (for example, the excessive shyness of some, the secrecy of others, the intransigence of others, etc.).

Earlier it was said that any information is transmitted through sign systems. A distinction is usually made between verbal and non-verbal information. The latter is divided into several more forms: kinesthetics, paralinguistics, proxemics, visual communication. Each of them forms its own sign system.

It should be emphasized once again that speech becomes a universal means of communication, provided that it is included in the system of activity, which, in turn, involves the use of other, non-speech sign systems at the same time.

Verbal communication

Human speech, i.e., natural sound language, acts as a sign system in verbal communication.

The system of phonetic signs of a language is built on the basis of vocabulary and syntax. Vocabulary is a set of words that make up a language. Syntax is the language-specific means and rules for creating speech units. Speech is the most universal means of communication, since when transmitting information, the meaning of the message is lost to the least extent compared to other means of transmitting information. Speech, therefore, is language in action, a form of generalized reflection of reality, a form of existence of thinking. Indeed, in thinking, speech manifests itself in the form of internal pronunciation of words to oneself. Thinking and speech are inseparable from each other. The transfer of information using speech occurs according to the following scheme: the communicator (the speaker) selects the words necessary to express the thought; connects them according to the rules of grammar, using the principles of vocabulary and syntax; pronounces these words due to the articulation of the organs of speech. The recipient (listener) perceives speech, decodes speech units for the correct understanding of the thought expressed in it. But this happens when the communicants use a national language understandable to both, developed in the process of verbal communication over many generations of people.

Speech performs two main functions - significative and communicative.

Thanks to significative function for a person (unlike an animal) it becomes possible to arbitrarily evoke images of objects, to perceive the semantic content of speech. Thanks to the communicative function, speech becomes a means of communication, a means of transmitting information.

The word makes it possible to analyze objects, things, to highlight their essential and secondary features. Mastering the word, a person automatically masters complex systems of connections and relations between objects and phenomena of the objective world. The ability to analyze objects and phenomena of the objective world, to single out the essential, main and secondary in them, to attribute these objects and phenomena to certain categories (i.e., to classify them) is an indispensable condition for determining the meaning of a word. A dictionary compiled on this basis, covering the terms-concepts of any special field of activity, is called thesaurus.

Communicative function of speech manifests itself in means of expression And means of influence. Speech is not limited only to the totality of transmitted messages, it simultaneously expresses the attitude of a person to what he is talking about, and the attitude to the one with whom he communicates. Thus, emotional and expressive components (rhythm, pause, intonation, voice modulation, etc.) are manifested to one degree or another in the speech of each individual. There are also expressive components in written speech (in the text of the letter, this is manifested in the sweeping nature of the handwriting and the force of pressure, the angle of its inclination, the direction of the lines, the shape of capital letters, etc.). The word as a means of influence and its emotional and expressive components are inseparable, they act simultaneously, to a certain extent influencing the behavior of the recipient.

Types of verbal communication. Distinguish external And inner speech. External speech divided by oral And written. Oral speech, in turn, on dialogic And monologue. In preparation for oral speech and especially for writing, the individual "pronounces" the speech to himself. That's what it is inner speech. In written speech, the conditions of communication are mediated by the text. Written speech May be direct(for example, exchanging notes at a meeting, at a lecture) or delayed(exchange of letters).

A form of verbal communication is dactyl speech. This is a manual alphabet that serves to replace oral speech when deaf and blind people communicate with each other and persons familiar with fingerprinting. Dactyl marks replace letters (similar to letters in block type).

The accuracy of the listener's understanding of the meaning of the speaker's statement depends on the feedback. Such feedback is established when the communicator and the recipient alternately change places. The recipient, by his statement, makes it clear how he understood the meaning of the received information. Thus, dialogue speech represents a kind of sequential change in the communicative roles of the communicants, during which the meaning of the speech message is revealed. monologue same speech continues long enough, not interrupted by the remarks of others. It requires advance preparation. This is usually a detailed, preparatory speech (for example, a report, lecture, etc.).

The constant and effective exchange of information is the key to the achievement of any organization or firm of its goals. The importance of communication, for example in management, cannot be overestimated. However, here, as shown above, it is also necessary to pursue the goal of ensuring the correct understanding of the transmitted information or semantic messages. The ability to accurately express one's thoughts, the ability to listen are the components of the communicative side of communication. Unskillful expression of thoughts leads to a misinterpretation of what was said. Poor listening distorts the meaning of the information being conveyed. Below is a methodology for the two main ways of listening: non-reflective and reflective.

Non-reflective listening involves minimal interference with the speech of the interlocutor with maximum concentration on it. Therefore, in order to master non-reflective listening, one must learn to be attentively silent, demonstrating understanding, benevolence and support. This technique facilitates the process of self-expression for the speaker and helps listeners to better understand the meaning of statements, to catch what is behind the words.

1. The interlocutor is eager to express his attitude to something, wants to express his point of view.

2. The interlocutor wants to discuss pressing issues. If a person is worried, offended by something or experiencing other negative emotions, it is worth giving him the opportunity to speak out and express his feelings, almost without interfering with his speech. This relieves tension and promotes normal two-way contact. A simple opportunity to express what has been accumulated brings emotional relief to the speaker, and helps the listener to understand the reasons for his actions and experiences.

3. It is difficult for the interlocutor to express, put into words what worries him, what he wants to talk about. Minimal interference in the conversation facilitates the self-expression of the speaker. Unnecessary interference in the speech of the interlocutor and subjective remarks often prevent the establishment of mutual understanding.

4. Non-reflective listening techniques are useful in conversations with shy, insecure people who find it easier to "communicate with things than with their own kind."

5. Effective non-reflective listening during a job interview when they want to know as much as possible about the applicant. You can ask the question: “What attracts you most about this job?” or “Why do you want to work with us?” and allow the person to express himself freely, without guiding his thoughts with questions and comments. It is also useful in business and commercial negotiations where a brief dialogue should ensure an accurate rapport. Minimal interference with the interlocutor's speech helps an experienced listener to better understand the speaker - his true feelings, goals and intentions. And to the interlocutor, these techniques show that they are really interested.

Reflective listening involves establishing active feedback with the speaker. It allows you to eliminate barriers, distortion of information in the process of communication, more accurately understand the meaning, content of statements. It should be borne in mind that many words have multiple meanings and can be understood differently by different people. The meaning of a word depends on the situation, on the context in which it is used. Sometimes the speaker puts one meaning into the statement, and the listener interprets it differently. It is often difficult for people to express their opinion directly and openly. The fear of being misunderstood, of seeming stupid or ridiculous, of facing disapproval, condemnation makes one take a detour, pile up words, hiding true motives. In the tutorial mentioned above, there are four basic techniques for reflective listening. These techniques are usually used in combination.

¦ Finding out. This is a direct appeal to the speaker for clarification. To get more information or to clarify the meaning of individual statements, you can ask, for example: "Please clarify this." If you want to understand the essence of what the interlocutor is talking about, you can ask: “Is this the problem, as you understand it?” Questions like these help you understand better.

¦ Reflection of feelings. Here the main attention is paid not to the content of messages, but to the feelings expressed by the speaker, the emotional component of his statements. Of course, as a rule, feelings correspond to the content, but sometimes they do not correspond to it. This is important to understand. The reflection of the speaker's feelings helps him to more accurately realize his emotional state.

The response or emotional reaction to the feelings of others is very important for mutual understanding. The effectiveness of communication depends not only on its content, but also on the emotional side. The emergence and manifestation of emotions are always associated with what is especially significant for a person. Reflecting the feelings of the interlocutor, we show him that we understand his condition. In order to better understand the feelings of the interlocutor, you need to follow the expression of his face, posture, gestures, intonation, the distance established with the communication partner, i.e., it is necessary to use non-verbal means of communication. It is necessary to try to imagine yourself in the place of the speaker, that is, to use such a mechanism of interpersonal perception as empathy.

¦ Summary The utterance summarizes the thoughts and feelings of the speaker. This technique is useful for long conversations. Summarizing phrases give the listener confidence in the exact perception of the message and at the same time help the speaker understand how well he managed to convey his idea. The summary should be formulated in your own words, using introductory phrases, such as: “Your main ideas, as I understand it, are ... To summarize what has been said, then ... So, you think that ...”

Summing up is especially useful in situations where decisions need to be made (when resolving conflicts, discussing disagreements, handling complaints, etc., as well as in group conversations).

¦ Paraphrase - means to formulate the same thought differently. The purpose of paraphrasing is the speaker's own formulation of the message to test the accuracy of understanding.

Paraphrasing is useful precisely when the speech of the interlocutor seems clear to us. Paraphrasing can be started with the words: “If I understand you correctly ...”, “In other words, you think ...”, “You think ...” It is advisable to paraphrase only the essential, main ideas of the message. When paraphrasing, we are interested in the meaning and ideas, and not the attitudes and feelings of the interlocutor. The listener must necessarily express someone else's thought in his own words. The literal repetition of the words of the interlocutor can confuse him. Paraphrasing shows the speaker that they are listening and understanding, and if they are misunderstood, it helps to correct it in a timely manner.

The following is a self-test of listening skills.

Instruction

Mark with crosses the numbers of those statements that describe situations that cause you dissatisfaction, annoyance or irritation when talking with any person.

1. The interlocutor does not give me a chance to speak, I have something to say, but there is no way to insert a word.

2. The interlocutor constantly interrupts me during the conversation.

3. The interlocutor never looks in the face during the conversation, and I'm not sure if they are listening to me.

4. Talking to a partner who does not look in the face during the conversation often causes a feeling of waste of time, as it seems that he is not listening to me.

5. The interlocutor is constantly fussing: pencil and paper occupy him more than my words.

6. The interlocutor never smiles. I feel uneasy and anxious.

7. The interlocutor constantly distracts me with his questions and comments.

8. No matter what I say, the interlocutor always cools my ardor.

9. The interlocutor constantly tries to reject me.

10. The interlocutor "distorts" the meaning of my words and puts a different content into them.

11. When I ask a question, the interlocutor makes me defensive.

12. Sometimes the interlocutor asks me again, pretending not to have heard.

13. The interlocutor, without listening to the end, interrupts me only to agree.

14. During the conversation, the interlocutor is concentrated on extraneous matters: he plays with a pen, wipes the lenses of his glasses, etc., and I am firmly convinced that he is inattentive at the same time.

15. The interlocutor draws conclusions for me.

16. The interlocutor is always trying to insert a word into my story.

17. The interlocutor looks at me very carefully, without blinking.

18. The interlocutor looks at me as if evaluating. It worries.

19. When I offer something new, the interlocutor says that he thinks the same way.

20. The interlocutor overacts, showing that he is interested in the conversation, nods his head too often, gasps and agrees.

21. When I talk about something serious, the interlocutor inserts various stories, jokes and anecdotes.

22. The interlocutor often looks at his watch during a conversation.

23. When I turn to him at a meeting, he drops everything and looks at me attentively.

24. The interlocutor behaves as if I prevent him from doing something very important.

25. The interlocutor requires everyone to agree with him. Any of his statements ends with the question: “Do you think so too?” or "Don't you agree?"

Processing test results

Count up share of marked situations as a percentage of the total.

If it fluctuates between 70% and 100%(18 or more statements) - you are a bad conversationalist. You need to work on yourself and learn to listen.

If it fluctuates between 40-70%(10-17 statements) - you have some flaws. You are critical of the interlocutor's statements, and you still lack some of the virtues of a good listener: avoid hasty conclusions, do not focus on the manner of speaking, do not pretend, look for the hidden meaning of what was said, do not monopolize the conversation.

If the noted situations fluctuate between 10–40%(49 statements) - you can be considered a good conversationalist, but sometimes you deny your partner full understanding. Try to politely repeat his statements, let him reveal his thought completely, adapt your pace of thinking to his speech and you can be sure that it will be even more pleasant to communicate with you.

If you scored 0-10%(up to three statements) - you are an excellent conversationalist. You know how to listen. Your communication style can be an example for others.

Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication on the basis of the means of presenting information can be divided into kinesthetics, para- and extralinguistics, proxemics and "eye contact" (visual communication).

kinesthetics- this is one of the types of non-verbal communication, based on the perception of the general motor skills of various parts of the body of the human body. If we mean mainly hands, then this is - gesticulation(sign language). If we mean the muscles of the face, then this is - facial expressions. If the poses of a person, then this is - pantomime(language of the body).

Some authors call this type of non-verbal information optical-kinetic system of signs(V. A. Labunskaya, 1986; G. M. Andreeva, 1996, etc.). In our opinion, such a name for one of the main types of non-verbal communication is not correct. After all, the word "kinetics" refers to the sections of mechanics and physics. Kinetic means pertaining to the movement of mechanical parts (mechanics), to the energy of mechanical movement (physics). We believe that this type of non-verbal communication should be called kinesthetics more correctly, since this word is based on the concept of “kinesthetic sensation” - a sense of movements, positions of parts of an individual’s own body and applied muscle efforts. Kinesthetic sensitivity easily enters into connection with other types of sensitivity - skin, vestibular, auditory and visual.

General motility of various parts of the body (gestures, facial expressions, pantomime) reflects the emotional reactions of a person. However, it should be borne in mind that the use of the same kinesthetic techniques (gestures, postures, facial expressions, etc.) in different folk cultures may have different interpretations. For example, a V-shaped finger sign in many countries means the number 2. In most European countries, this sign means “Victory!” - it does not matter whether the palm is turned towards itself or towards the viewer. But in England and Australia, this sign takes on a different interpretation depending on which side of the speaker's hand is turned towards him. If the hand (palm) is turned with its back to the speaker, then this means “Victory!”, but if the hand is turned with the palm to the speaker (the back of the hand to the viewer), then this gesture takes on the insulting expression “shut up”. There are many such examples of different interpretations of certain gestures in different national cultures. The Russian proverb is correct: “With your charter, you don’t go to someone else’s monastery.”

Paralinguistics- this is a vocalization system (voice timbre, its range, tonality, etc.).

Extralinguistics- this is a system that determines the rate of speech and includes "additives" to verbal information (rate of speech, pauses, coughing, crying, laughter, etc.).

Proxemics is the area of ​​spatial and temporal organization of communication. The founder of proxemics, E. Hall, proposed a method for assessing the intimacy of communication based on the study of the organization of its space. So, the dimensions of a person's personal spatial territory (meaning the norms of a person approaching a communication partner, characteristic of American culture) are: intimate zone - 15–46 cm; personal zone - 46-120 cm; social zone - 1.2–3.6 m; public area - more than 3.6 m.

visual communication(eye contact) is a system of non-verbal information based on eye movements. The frequency of the exchange of glances, their duration, the change in the statics and dynamics of the gaze, its avoidance, etc. are studied. This type of communication is an addition to verbal communication (informs about the readiness to maintain communication or the need to stop it, encourages the partner to continue the dialogue, etc. ). The study of this type of communication is of undoubted interest for medical personnel, educators, practical psychologists, and entrepreneurs related to leadership problems.

Even a brief acquaintance with the systems of non-verbal communication shows that these systems have the ability not only to enhance or weaken the verbal impact, but also to identify such an essential parameter of the communicative process as the intentions of its participants.

A special type of non-verbal communication is mi-mico-sign language. It is a form of communication for deaf people. It is a combination of natural and conventional gestures and facial expressions. However, the classification of this type of communication as non-verbal is purely arbitrary. It can just as well be attributed to verbal communication. In fact, it is speech. Mimic-gestural speech is based on a system of gestures, each of which has its own meaning, and on a peculiar syntax (in sentences, the subject is indicated first, then its qualities; the action is indicated after the object to which it is directed; negation follows the verb, etc. .).

The techniques and methods of verbal and non-verbal communication described above provide the exchange of information necessary for people to organize joint activities.

Interaction in joint activities

When considering communication from the point of view of human interaction, it is always necessary to keep in mind the purpose of communication. This goal is to satisfy the need for joint activities of people. The result of such communication is a change in the behavior and activities of other people. Communication here acts as interpersonal interaction, i.e., a set of connections and mutual influences of people that develop in their joint activities. Such joint activity takes place under conditions of social control on the basis of social norms and patterns of behavior accepted in society. On this basis, the interactions and relationships of people in joint activities are regulated.

Thus, the interactive side of communication is manifested not only through the exchange of information, but also through the efforts of people to organize joint actions that allow partners to implement some common activity for them ( G. M. Andreeva).

The initial condition for the success of communication, as E. I. Rogov notes, is the correspondence of the behavior of interacting people to each other's expectations. It is impossible to imagine communication always and under all circumstances smoothly flowing and devoid of internal contradictions. In some situations, an antagonism of positions is revealed, reflecting mutually exclusive values, tasks and goals. This sometimes turns into mutual hostility, interpersonal conflicts arise. The causes of conflicts can be very different. For example, mutually exclusive interests of those who communicate or insurmountable semantic barriers in the process of interaction between partners. So, sometimes the discrepancy between the meaning of a statement, requirement, order prevents effective interaction and mutual understanding of partners.

Semantic barriers, as E. I. Rogov points out, acquire a particularly important role in pedagogical communication, which is explained by the age difference and life experience of some and the lack of such experience for others, as well as the discrepancy in the interests and attachments of communication partners and errors in the choice of educational influences teacher [Ibid., p. 175].

In social psychology, there have been several approaches to solving the problems of social interaction. Let's dwell on some of them.

Motivational Approaches associated with the motives of intergroup interaction. The motivational approach is based on Z. Freud's doctrine of unconscious attraction. In the crowd, as a social community, according to Z. Freud, unconscious inclinations are manifested, a thin layer of civilized behavior is torn, individuals demonstrate their true, barbaric and primitive beginning. Based on this postulate, the causes of intergroup aggression, the mechanisms for replacing individual aggression with collective aggression are considered. Due to this, neighboring and in many ways close to each other teams are at enmity with each other and mock each other. For example, the Spaniards and the Portuguese, the North and South Germans, the British and the Scots, etc. Proponents of a motivational approach to the problems of social interaction in the UK and the US have recently achieved some success. Thus, as a result of their demands, scenes of violence and cruelty were removed from children's programs and television channels.

For intergroup interaction, it is extremely important to understand the psychological mechanisms of aggressive behavior, the mechanisms of suppression and containment in various social conditions. One of the mechanisms of aggressive behavior is the authoritarian personality. T. Adorno in the 1950s investigated the problem of the authoritarian personality. They were given a characteristic of an authoritarian personality (stereotypical thinking; adherence to the values ​​of the middle class; faith in the moral purity of their own race; exaggerated interest in the problems of power, strength, violence; fear of bad influence; cynicism, etc.). Authoritarian power, according to T. Adorno, creates a real threat to democratic social institutions. The victory of fascism in Germany took place, in his opinion, precisely because the authoritarian regime became typical there after the First World War, Nazi propaganda found extremely favorable ground for itself.

situational approaches. M. Sherif is a prominent representative of situational approaches in the study of intergroup interaction. He believed that it was not enough to explain intergroup conflicts by the action of motivational theories alone. The cause of intergroup conflicts lies, in his opinion, in the factors of direct interaction between groups. His credo: when two groups strive for the same goal, then a conflict develops between them. Members of one group can only make hostile contact with members of another group. Within each group, cohesion grows. To reduce hostility between groups, it is necessary to set before them the tasks of achieving higher goals. M. Sherif's research was carried out in small groups. However, he tried with his supporters to extend the results of his research to large groups. And this is illegal. Despite this, the significance of the works of M. Sherif is quite large.

cognitive approaches. Representatives of the cognitive approach were not satisfied with the results of either the first or second approaches in the study of intergroup interaction. They argued that cognitive processes play an important role in the regulation of intergroup interaction (i.e., those related to cognition only on the basis of thinking). Cognitivists believed that incompatibility of goals is a necessary and sufficient condition for the emergence of hostility and conflict between groups. A prominent place among the supporters of the cognitive approach is occupied by the problem of social justice in various communities of people. In the conditions of intergroup competition, when awards are given to “ours” and “them”, in their opinion, all justice is violated (G. Tejfel).

Structured (transactional) approach. A prominent representative of this approach is the American psychotherapist E. Bern. According to the concept of E. Bern, each participant in the interaction can occupy one of three positions, which are conditionally called Parent, Adult, Child. The position of the Child can be defined as the position "I want!", the position of the Parent - as the position "I must!", and the position of the Adult - as the combined position "I want!" and "We must!".

The unit of communication is the so-called transaction, which consists of a transactional stimulus and a transactional reaction. In normal human relationships, a stimulus entails an appropriate, expected, natural response. Such transactions are called additional, they do not create conflict situations, the communication process can continue indefinitely (Fig. 3).

Example. The surgeon, assessing the need for a scalpel on the basis of the data he has, holds out his hand to the nurse. Having correctly interpreted this gesture, estimating the distance and muscular effort, she puts the scalpel into the surgeon's hand in such a movement that is expected of her. The example is taken from the book by E. Berne “Games that people play. The psychology of human relationships". Stimulus and response are designated as additional transactions of the first type (see Fig. 3). Transactions "Child - Parent" will be somewhat more complicated. For example, during an illness, a child asks for water, and the mother who cares for him brings a glass of water. In the figure, this is indicated as an additional transaction of the second type.

As long as the transactions remain complementary, the communication process is not disrupted whether the participants are engaged in, for example, some gossip (Parent-Parent), solving a real problem (Adult-Adult), or just playing together (Child-Child or Parent). - Child). The communication process is interrupted if crossed transactions are formed (Fig. 4).

Example. The incentive is designed for the relationship "Adult - Adult": "Let's try to understand why you have been drinking a lot lately" (stimulus). Reaction: "Like my father, you criticize me all the time." There is an intersecting transaction of the first type (indicated by the position “a” in the figure). An intersecting transaction of the second type can be given, for example, by such a position: to the question “Do you know where my cufflinks are?” the answer follows: “Why do you never know where your things are? You don't look like a child, do you?"

With a transactional approach to solving the problems of social interaction, the choice of actions of participants in communication occurs on the basis of regulating their positions in transactions and the nature of the positions occupied by each of them.

Thus, transactional analysis is a method of group psychotherapy based on a peculiar idea of ​​the structure of the human psyche, consisting of three main elements: 1) feelings and desires of children (Child); norms of behavior, traditions of parents (Parent); independent perception of the world by the subject (Adult). E. Berne here actually relies on traditional psychoanalysis, and attributing his concept to a structured approach to solving problems of social interaction is purely conditional. The value of transactional analysis lies in the fact that it allows you to find the hidden meaning of interpersonal influences, to recognize the motives of your own actions, the actions of your loved ones and communication partners. In domestic psychological science, this problem was not dealt with for a long time. Recently, only the works of Yu. S. Krizhanskaya, G. P. Tretyakov, P. N. Ershov and others are known.

Activity approach. Priority in the study of intergroup interaction in this approach belongs to domestic researchers (L. S. Vygotsky, A. N. Leontiev, S. L. Rubinshtein and their followers G. M. Andreeva, A. V. Petrovsky and others). This approach is based on the idea that in any real developed group, interpersonal relations are mediated by the content, goals and objectives of the socially significant activity of this group.

* * *

People engage in an endless variety of activities. However, all these types can be divided into two types: cooperation and competition.

Cooperation, or cooperative interaction is coordination, ordering, combination, summing up the efforts of each of the participants in joint activities. Experimental research in the field of cooperation is reduced mainly to the analysis of the contribution of the participants in the interaction and the degree of their involvement in this interaction.

Competition- this is rivalry, the struggle to achieve the best results in any field (for example, the struggle for more favorable conditions for the production and sale of goods, for the highest profit, etc.). This is where conflicts often arise. The main research here is focused on the problems of conflict prevention and prevention.

Competition is a particular type of competition. This is a form of activity in which the participants strive to excel each other in some area (sports, educational, etc.).

Success in joint activities largely depends on how the image of a communication partner is formed, what is their mutual understanding. Such a formulation of the question requires a transition to the consideration of the problem of social perception.

Interpersonal perception (People's perception of each other)

The perceptual side of communication

In the study of problems associated with the perceptual side of communication, one sometimes speaks of social perception. Under social perception one should understand the perception, understanding and evaluation by people of social objects (other people, themselves, groups, other social communities). This is a broader concept than the concept of "interpersonal perception". In the latter case, the term-concept "social perception" is narrowed, identified with interpersonal perception. In this work, this narrower meaning of the concept of the perceptual side of communication is taken as a basis.

Outstanding domestic psychologists B. G. Ananiev and V. N. Mya-sishchev in their works devoted to the knowledge of each other by people clearly identified three components that every researcher must keep in mind when developing communication problems:

1) knowledge of each other by people;

2) their emotional attitude to each other;

3) mutual understanding of communication partners.

The development of these theoretical positions on the problems of communication was continued by their students and followers (A. A. Bodalev, G. M. Andreeva, A. V. Petrovsky and others).

Thus, when interacting in joint activities, mutual understanding is important, that is, the perception of a person by a person and the study of the features of interpersonal perception. The impression that arises during the perception of a person plays an important regulatory role in communication. Based on the perception of a person by a person, an idea is formed about the intentions, thoughts, abilities, emotions, attitudes of a communication partner. This process in interpersonal perception is carried out from two sides: each of the communication partners likens himself to another. Consequently, when people interact in joint activities, not only the needs, motives and attitudes of one person, but also all the people participating in communication should be taken into account. In addition, the third dimension of “I” (I ++) should be taken into account, that is, how the communication partner sees you (see p. “Psychological Structure of Communication”).

It should be emphasized the essential difference between the knowledge of the world, nature and the knowledge of man by man. If the knowledge of nature occurs on the basis of the sensory reflection of the objective world and the rational thinking of the individual (i.e., the subject of knowledge), then the knowledge and understanding of each other by people occurs on the basis of mutual understanding, involves understanding the goals, motives, attitudes of partners in interaction. Moreover, this mutual understanding can qualitatively change. Say, if the goals, motives, attitudes of the interaction partner are understood, but not perceived to act in accordance with these goals, motives, attitudes (the subject of mutual understanding has, for example, other attitudes, other goals, other motives), then this is one thing. And it is a completely different matter when the goals, motives, attitudes of the interaction partner are not only understood, but also perceived and accepted for oneself. In this case, actions are coordinated, sympathy is manifested, love arises ...

In everyday life, people often do not know the real reasons for the behavior of communication partners and begin to attribute to each other the causes of behavior, based on the similarity of the behavior of the perceived person with the behavior of another individual, or on the basis of their own motives for behavior that may arise or have arisen in the past in similar situations. .

Mechanisms of perception of a person by a person and mutual understanding in the process of communication

The idea of ​​another person is closely related to the level of one's own self-consciousness. Analysis of self-awareness through another person is carried out using two concepts: identification and reflection.

Identification- this is one of the mechanisms of cognition and understanding of another person, which most often consists in the unconscious assimilation of oneself significant other. Here significant other - this is a person who is an authority for a given subject of communication and activity. This usually happens when, in real situations of interaction, an individual makes attempts to put himself in the place of a communication partner. During identification, a certain emotional connection with the object is established, mediated by the experience of one's identity with it.

It is necessary to distinguish between concepts "identification" and "reference". If for the first concept the basis is the process of assimilation of the subject to a communication partner, i.e., assimilation to a significant other, then for the second concept (“reference”) the main thing is the dependence of the subject on other people, acting as a selective attitude towards them. The object of referential relations can be either a group of which the subject is a member, or another group with which he relates himself, without being a real participant in it. The function of a referential object can also be performed by an individual, including a person who does not really exist (a literary hero, a fictional ideal to follow, etc.). In another case, the subject borrows for himself the goals, values, ideas, norms and rules of behavior of the object of reference (group, individual).

The concept of "identification" in its content is close to the concept of "empathy".

empathy- this is the comprehension of the emotional states of another person in the form of empathy. The mechanism of empathy is to some extent similar to the mechanism of identification. This similarity lies in the ability to put oneself in the place of another, to look at things from his point of view. However, this does not necessarily mean identification with this other person (as occurs in identification). It's just that with empathy, the partner's line of behavior is taken into account, the subject treats him with sympathy, but interpersonal relationships with him are built based on the strategy of his line of behavior.

Reflection- this is the individual's awareness of how he is perceived by the communication partner, that is, how the communication partner will understand me. When interacting, certain characteristics of each other are mutually evaluated and changed.

Effects of interpersonal perception

causal attribution. People, getting to know each other, are not limited to obtaining information through observation. They strive to find out the reasons for the behavior of communication partners and to find out their personal qualities. But since information about a person obtained as a result of observation is most often insufficient for reliable conclusions, the observer begins to attribute probabilistic causes of behavior and character traits of the personality of the communication partner. This causal interpretation of the behavior of the observed individual can significantly affect the observer himself.

Thus, causal attribution - it is the interpretation by the subject of interpersonal perception of the causes and motives of the behavior of other people. The word "causal" means "causal". Attribution - it is the attribution to social objects of characteristics that are not represented in the field of perception.

Based on the study of problems associated with causal attribution, G. M. Andreeva concluded that attributive processes constitute the main content of interpersonal perception. It is indicative that some people are more inclined to fix physical traits in the process of interpersonal perception (in this case, the scope of “attribution” is significantly reduced), while others perceive mainly the psychological traits of the character of others. In the latter case, a wide scope for attribution opens up.

A certain dependence of "attribution" on installations in the process of perceiving a person by a person. This role of attribution is especially significant, as G. M. Andreeva notes, in the formation first impression about a stranger. This was revealed in the experiments of A. A. Bodalev. So, two groups of students were shown a photograph of the same person. But beforehand, the first group was told that the person in the photograph was a hardened criminal, and the second group was told about the same person that he was a great scientist. After that, each group was asked to make a verbal portrait of this person. In the first case, the corresponding characteristics were obtained: deep-set eyes testified to hidden malice, a prominent chin - to the determination to "go to the end in a crime", etc. Accordingly, in the second group, the same deep-set eyes spoke of deep thought, and a prominent chin - about willpower in overcoming difficulties on the path of knowledge, etc.

Such studies should answer the question about the role of characteristics given to communication partners in the process of interpersonal perception, and the degree of influence of attitudes on these characteristics.

Halo effect (halo effect) - this is the formation of an evaluative impression of a person in the conditions of a shortage of time for the perception of his actions and personal qualities. The halo effect appears either in the form of positive evaluative bias (positive halo) or negative evaluative bias (negative halo).

So, if the first impression of a person as a whole is favorable, then in the future all his behavior, traits and actions begin to be reassessed in a positive direction. In them, only positive aspects are highlighted and exaggerated, while negative ones are underestimated or not noticed. If the general first impression of a person, due to the circumstances, turned out to be negative, then even his positive qualities and actions in the future are either not noticed at all, or are underestimated against the background of hypertrophied attention to shortcomings.

Effects of novelty and primacy. The effects of novelty and primacy are closely related to the halo effect. These effects (novelty and primacy) are manifested through the significance of a certain order of presenting information about a person to form an idea about him.

novelty effect arises when, in relation to a familiar person, the most significant is the latest, i.e. newer information about him.

Primacy effect the same occurs when, in relation to a stranger, the first information is more significant.

All the effects described above can be considered as special cases or manifestations of a special process that accompanies the perception of a person by a person, called stereotyping.

Stereotyping- this is the perception and evaluation of social objects on the basis of certain ideas (stereotypes). Stereotyping is manifested in the attribution of similar characteristics to all members of a social group without sufficient awareness of the possible differences between them.

Stereotype - this is a simplified, often distorted, typical for the sphere of everyday consciousness idea of ​​a social group or an individual belonging to a particular social community. The stereotype arises on the basis of limited past experience as a result of the desire to draw conclusions on the basis of insufficient information. Most often, stereotypes arise regarding a person's group affiliation.

Stereotyping is one of the most important characteristics of intergroup and interpersonal perception and is accompanied by manifestations social attitudes, halo effects, primacy And novelty. In interpersonal perception, stereotyping performs two main functions:

1) maintaining identification;

2) justification of possible negative attitudes towards other groups.

The so-called ethnic stereotypes, when, on the basis of limited information about individual representatives of certain ethnic groups, biased conclusions are drawn regarding the entire group. Stereotyping in the process of people knowing each other, as G. M. Andreeva notes, can lead to two different consequences. On the one hand, to a certain simplification of the process of knowing another person, and then this simplification leads to the replacement of the image of a person with a cliche, for example, “all accountants are pedants”, “all teachers are educators”. On the other hand, it leads to prejudice if the judgment about a social object is built on the basis of past limited experience, which most often can turn out to be negative.

Attraction. When people perceive each other, certain relationships are formed with the inclusion of emotional regulators - from rejection of a particular person to sympathy, friendship, love.

Social attraction - This is a special kind of social attitude towards another person, in which positive emotional components predominate. There are three main levels of attraction: sympathy, friendship, love. Attraction is manifested in emotional attractiveness, the attraction of one person to another.

* * *

Mutual understanding of partners in communication implies knowledge by each of them of the psychology of another person: his value orientations, motives and goals of activity, the level of claims and attitudes, character traits, etc. In the first chapter, it was shown that people have varying degrees of ability to communicate , to the development of interpersonal sensitivity. These abilities can be developed and improved in the process of conducting socio-psychological trainings on interpersonal sensitivity. At present, in the practice of foreign psychology, so-called T-groups are organized (T is the initial letter of the word “training”), in which interpersonal sensitivity training is carried out. Similar trainings began to be carried out in our country: socio-psychological trainings are organized using a sensitive technique. Sensitive Method belongs to the category of interpersonal sensitivity methods. main goal sensitive training is the development and improvement of the ability of individuals to understand each other. The peculiarity of the sensitive method lies in the fact that sensitive training is carried out not in the family and at work, but in special training centers or in the countryside.

Participants must not have previously known each other. No attempts are envisaged when forming a group to structure it on the basis of education, position held, qualifications or profession. In the course of such training, participants are included in a completely new area of ​​social experience for them, thanks to which they learn how they are perceived by other members of the group and get the opportunity to compare these perceptions with self-perception.

Communication is a special kind of interaction between people. In a motley kaleidoscope of various characteristics of interaction (informative, communicative, speech, productive, business and others), which differ in content or in means of interaction, communication is distinguished based on the nature of the connection between the two partners:

First, these partners can only be subjects. Communication is the interaction of two subjects. Despite this, we cannot speak of communication as a “subject-subject relationship”. The fact is that each of the subjects acts as an object for the other partner due to the fact that each of them has a body, external characteristics of body movements that bear the features of the movements of the hidden inner world. Communication in communication is still “subject - object - subjective”, because each partner perceives the other partner through quite tangible external manifestations. If he doesn't, the bond is broken.

Secondly, the connection of these subjects is carried out by broadcasting their personal "I" to another subject. Communication is the mutual transmission of the "I" of the subjects. The channels of such a broadcast are visual, verbal, tactile, subject-effective. One of these channels dominates, due to the peculiarity of age, individuality, situation. For example, kids build their communication, first of all, through the subject-effective channel. The tactile channel is chosen by lovers. The visual channel dominates among spouses who understand each other perfectly. The verbal channel is used by more girls than boys.

Thirdly, we are talking about the transfer of the inner spiritual content of these two subjects. Communication is the mutual disclosure by the subjects of their spiritual world. Opening your autonomous world to another is not easy, it requires effort and skill: something is always hidden and cannot be taken out for another person.

Sometimes any interaction between two subjects is called communication. However, the very fact of the existence of two concepts instead of one suggests that there is a fundamental difference in the phenomena denoted by different words.

Communication- this is the interaction of two subjects, in the process of which there is a mutual translation of the "I" participating in the interaction of subjects.

It is the broadcasting of such a plan that creates something “common” between the subjects, which allows us to call the interaction as “communication”. To communicate means to reveal your personal “I” to another person, subject to the same act on the part of the partner, the mutual acquisition of what has become “common” for the subjects.

A parishioner who reveals his soul in confession does not participate in the process of communication. Individuals of the animal world do not create the process of communication, although subtle forms of interaction are recorded in their world. A mentally ill person who has lost his mind is not capable of communication. The baby does not immediately and does not soon acquire such an ability. But we have to admit that in the world of adults, we often meet people who have not had time to develop their ability to communicate.

Nature made sure that a person could interact with the outside world, endowing him with a sensory and reflex system. Communication is born in the conditions of social life. It is learned, it is cultivated by man in the socio-historical process of the existence of mankind on earth.

Once again, we invite readers to consider the interaction of a girl named Masha and a dog (see photo No. 1). One would like to say that we have a picture of communication between two very cute ... - but you can’t call a dog a subject, so what we see has only a qualification of interaction - nothing more.

Of course, Masha is probably saying something, and Masha probably thinks that the dog is answering. But Masha - if she communicates - communicates with her own reflection, endowing the dog with her feelings.

For the teacher, the complexity of the issue has three sides. First: any access to communication is associated with psychological difficulties, because the inner world is autonomous, closed from others, and its opening itself occurs through physical and mental efforts. Speaking about the imperfection of psychology, the famous American researcher Kurt Lewin emphasizes: "A teacher will never be able to properly guide a child if he does not learn to understand the psychological world in which this individual child lives." ( FOOTNOTE: Kurt Lewin. Field theory in the social sciences. SPb., 2000. S. 83.)

Second: the experience of communication among children is still small and limited to the usual situations of everyday life, and at school the child finds himself in a public environment and in front of the public must skillfully express his personal world. Third: the low culture of communication inherent in society during the period of disintegration, or the lack of communication in the microenvironment of the child, does not endow the child with the experience of communication.

Overcoming these difficulties takes the whole upbringing.

Pedagogical communication- this is the communication of the teacher with the children, during which the teacher contributes to the ascent of children to the level of the communicative culture "man - man", teaching children to perceive the Other and open their inner world to the Other.

The primary function of pedagogical communication is “opening for communication”. It realizes the moment of overcoming the closeness of the inner world of the "I" of one subject in front of another "I".

This function is operationally provided as follows:

§ the teacher puts on a “dress of benevolence”, referring to the children or to one child with whom communication is to be;

§ the teacher takes an open position without “locks” of arms and legs, that is, does not cross his arms on his chest, does not cross his legs and does not hold any object in his hands, as if hiding behind it; his palms are open and turned towards the children;

§ the teacher does not allow a threatening posture such as “lion before the jump” (support with both hands on the table, tilting forward), “militant rooster” (hands behind the back), “policeman” (hands in the pockets of trousers, fingers pointed at the partner) and does not hold in the hands of a sharp object aimed at children like a pistol (pen, pointer, pencil, ruler);

§ the teacher pronounces a certain form of appeal to the children, carefully considering the nature of such an appeal in accordance with the given circumstances (“guys” - on the sports ground, by the fire, while cleaning the class, drinking tea or preparing dinner; “ladies and gentlemen”, “sirs and ladies", "young thinkers" - during academic studies, "dear friends" - during a conversation or discussion about the problems of life, etc.);

§ the teacher produces “positive reinforcement” for children verbally or mimicry, exercising an important psychological impact “to raise the communication partner on a pedestal”;

§ and at the first moment of communication, the teacher necessarily pronounces the “I-message”, which is nothing more than the discovery of one’s own inner world for a communication partner.

Here is an illustration of what has been said from school educational practice:

Dear thinkers, hello! Glad to see your smart and kind faces. Please sit down. We have some interesting work ahead of us. I even worry a little: will it be possible to do everything well, so that the soul would be happy with the result of our work ... - the geography teacher addresses the students at the beginning of the lesson.

Here the appeal is uttered, “positive reinforcement” is produced, the teacher opens his “I”, going to the “I-message” operation.

Let us dwell on the last operation, it plays a special role, it is universal, serves all the functions of communication and constitutes a kind of basis for the true translation of the personal "I".

"I am a message" ( FOOTNOTE: Identified, substantiated and developed by the psychologist J. Gippenreiter) - the announcement of one's well-being, state or thought about an ongoing or happened fact as a certain phenomenon of life. The teacher rises above a specific real case, sees in it a general phenomenon of human life and informs the partner about his attitude to the phenomenon (not a fact!). Such elevation contributes to the socialization of the child, who along the way learns how people in the society where he lives feel about what he has done. The teacher emphasizes generalization with the words “I always ...”, “I always ...”, “I always have ...”. For example: “It always hurts me when I see how a person is offended ...” or “I always feel good in my soul when I meet smart people.”

Here's what this operation looks like in a daily routine, combined with an appeal to a partner. The young teacher says:

The children loudly shouted at each other and expressed complaints, indignation and indignation at some incident, the essence of which I could not grasp. Then I said: “Dear sirs and madams! I beg you not to make noise. It always makes me so uncomfortable when people don’t want to respect each other and scream to be heard.” There was silence. The eyes were fixed on me. Get serious. Some began to gently raise their hands, asking for words ... "( FOOTNOTE: Yulia Oleinikova, a student of the Psychological and Pedagogical Faculty of Moscow State Pedagogical University im. Lenin).

The next function of pedagogical communication is “complicity with a communication partner”. Its implementation means significant imperceptible assistance to a partner in communication. When it comes to children or an individual child, this function is of great importance, because children only master the art of communication, and, not being able to communicate, often acquire negative experience. If we take into account that adults usually forgive a small child, and sometimes even a teenager, his erroneous ways of communicating, then such an acquisition of negative experience, moreover, continues for quite a long time, taking root deeper and deeper. The central place of the “participation” function is undoubtedly precisely because of its influence on the practical experience of the child.

Let's imagine a number of operations that covertly help children learn how to communicate through "participation": the teacher creates conditions for the active expression of "I", initiates activity, imperceptibly correcting the forms of such expression. Here is the operational support for said function:

§ “a question in connection with the circumstances”, which is very easy to pose if you look around everything that is around, or if you take into account the content of the joint activity that the teacher and children are facing; the paradigm of the operation - “I wonder who is here ...”, “It is curious how it is ...”, “I would like to know why it is so here ...”; we note in passing that this operation also helps adults very well, who have gathered together for free communication, but who are in no way able to establish a friendly conversation;

§ “question about activity” - is put after the “question about circumstances”, its content is set by what exactly is happening “here and now” and what actions the communication partner performs; the paradigm is: “Do you often come here?”, “Do you like doing this?”, “You probably do it easily?”; it is not difficult for any person to talk about what he is doing now, therefore he is usually happy with such a question, which allows him to enter into communication;

§ The “question of interests” well supports the activity of the child, because he is pleased to talk about what he knows well and where he can adequately prove himself; the paradigm of the operation is simple - "You love ... plus the verb (play ..., read ..., play sports, housework ...)"; this question should not be rushed, it is better to ask it after the previous two;

§ “attachment” is a beautiful and pedagogically elegant operation; it is produced quite simply through the paradigm "Me too..." or "Me too..." or "Me too..."; the teacher seems to stand next to the child in the spiritual space and inform him that he is not alone in his manifestation, that his manifestation in the world takes place, and therefore is accepted by people as worthy for a person, which means that the child has support; let's say the teacher says: "I am also a little afraid when ..." or "I agree with you, I also think that ..."

§ "offering help" in all variants created by culture; her paradigms are: a) "Let's help!" b) "Let me help you!" c) “I would like to help you ...” d) “I would be happy to do this”; if you follow the “measure of supply”, then it decreases from the first to the fourth paradigm - this is the hidden meaning of their existence: to provide assistance only if the person wants this help, and in no case do this without his knowledge and desire;

§ “invitation to express an opinion” - an operation that requires special careful intonational instrumentation, so that children are not afraid of the freedom provided; the paradigm “Say (those) what you think about it” must be pronounced softly, invitingly, disposingly and without any “teacher's” pressure”; there is no need to be afraid of a pause, children must learn to overcome their fear, they will definitely express their opinion if they are sure that no one will ridicule them;

§ "recognition of personal predilections or weaknesses" - a necessary operation to strengthen the spiritual strength of the child, which consists in the open recognition of some inability, any mistakes or weaknesses that the teacher has made or is making in life; the paradigm “But I ...” emphasizes that in this matter the child is slightly higher than the teacher (“But I, unfortunately, am afraid of the computer ...”);

§ The “question of an ideological plan” is raised during the development of communication, when the teacher fixes that the children have opened up and are ready to express their “I”; the paradigm "For me, the main thing in life ..." marks a high level of communication and a high spiritual tension of the personality of both partners.

The listed series also includes operations of a general order, such as “positive reinforcement” and “I-message”: the first encourages the child, giving him confidence, thereby facilitating communication for him; the second outlines the possible content of communication in connection with what was expressed by the teacher, and thus indicates a worthy way to continue communication.

Let's see in practice an exemplary embodiment of the described operations in a specific life situation. Imagine a teacher addressing a child in order to involve him in free communication:

Does it feel cold today? Didn't you get cold when you got to school?.. Have a drawing lesson?.. Do you like to draw?.. I also really like to draw. And when I was at school, I drew ships... Can't you draw ships?.. Can I show you how to do it?.. I have never tried paints, unfortunately... Will you show your drawings?.. I love people generous... How do you feel about greed?.. Do you think it's hard to be kind to everyone? “… Why do you think so…?”

Here, an ordinary conversation between two people is recorded: from question to question, the interlocutors deepen their knowledge of each other and mutual transmission of their inner world to another person. Only by peering and listening, one can single out communicative operations that contribute to active communication. Moreover, we, professionals, call them operations when we set ourselves the task of learning to communicate freely, easily and fruitfully.

The third function is the "elevation of the communication partner". Its purpose is to increase the child's self-esteem, in the development of dignity as a socio-psychological education of a modern person. And the content of the function is in a positive pedagogical assessment and pedagogical support. Figuratively speaking, the moment of communication always puts the pupil “on a pedestal”, and from such a socio-psychological pedestal, as they say, “there is where to fall”. It is necessary to make sure that a person "has somewhere to fall." (Let's note in brackets: many of the fates of criminals began with the fact that they "had nowhere to fall", they never experienced a sense of dignity of their own personality, they did not have a "pedestal" from which they were afraid to fall.)

Of course, all the professional work of the teacher contributes to the solution of this problem. The task of forming dignity is an integral part of the educational goal. In turn, its solution is provided by the technological skill of the teacher, namely, the implementation of the named function in the process of influencing and communicating with the child.

This function is carried out using the following operations:

§ "Advance payment" - the proclamation of the merits that the pupil has not yet had time to show, but in the presence of which the teacher has no doubts; the paradigm of such an advance payment of encouragement - “You are so ...” inspires, fills with energy, inspires confidence and - helps to strain all the forces to confirm what has been said; the child makes efforts and communicates at the highest level for himself and following the methods offered by the teacher;

§ "justification of behavior" - one of the sparing operations, which consists in helping the child cope with himself when committing unworthy actions; the paradigm “Probably (of course) you had reasons for this ...” and a milder version “Probably something interferes (prevented) you .., therefore you ...” decisively removes the suspicion of malicious intent of the subject of unworthy actions and affirms his dignity, despite what he has done;

§ "compensation" - when identifying the weaknesses of the personality of the pupil, proclaim some of his dignity, which acts, firstly, as compensation for the weak side of the personality, and secondly, explains and partially justifies this weak side; the paradigm of this operation is “but he ...” or “but he has ...”, and at the same time the strong side of the personality is called, its dignity, which, most likely, gives rise to a weak side; say, having heard that someone is reproached for being sloppy, say: “But he works wonderfully in the garden and helps his mother feed the family”;

§ "request for help" is similar to "offering help" in the same analogous variants created by culture; its paradigms are: a) "Help!" and “Give!”, b) “Please help!” and “Please give!”, c) “Could you ... plus the desired action”, d) “I would be happy if ... plus the desired”; the meaning of the four options for asking for help is to “not ask”, not to burden a person if he cannot fulfill the request; the last two paradigms are especially important for the teacher, initiating the activity and independence of the child; Let's conventionally designate these operations as "request for help -1", "request for help - 2", "request for help - 3", "request for help - 4".

The teacher turns to the last of the proposed operations, first of all, when it is necessary to assure children of their dignity, increase self-esteem, “raise on a pedestal”, from which, as a rule, a person does not want to fall, because now “there is something to lose” .

And in this series of operations for the implementation of the second function, two general operations are equally significant - “positive reinforcement” and “I-message”. Their version - "through a third party" - is especially effective in increasing the partner's self-esteem: the same operations are performed, but only now they are addressed to some person present here, who is told about the merits of the partner or about what feeling it causes, what the partner did.

For example: "How cleverly he said - don't you think?!" - is said in the presence of a child, but only to another person, as if the child were not there.

For example: “Very smart and kind children!” - the teacher says to the school director about his students when the director appeared in the class. And children hear such a characteristic.

Summing up what has been said, it should be noted first of all the unity of the identified functions, simultaneously implemented in one act of communication, in each unit of time of communication. Functions are singled out autonomously only theoretically, and in theoretical analysis operations are directly correlated with the function. In practice, almost all operations perform all functions with varying degrees of influence. This makes it possible to make a professional assessment of the characteristics of the teacher's communication with children in a few minutes of his joint activity with them - as if we took a drop of sea water and analyzed drop by drop the quality of the entire reservoir.

Man is a social being living in conditions of interaction and communication with people. Social life arises and develops due to the presence of dependencies between people, which creates the prerequisites for the interaction of people with each other. People interact because they depend on each other. Interaction is the actions of individuals directed towards each other. Social connection - the dependence of people, realized through social action, carried out with a focus on other people, with the expectation of an appropriate response from the partner. In social communication, we can distinguish:
- subjects of communication (there can be from two to several people);
- the subject of communication (about what communication is carried out); I am a mechanism for regulating relationships.

Termination of communication may occur when the subject of communication is changed or lost, or if the participants in communication do not agree with the principles of its regulation. Social communication can act in the form of social contact (the connection between people is superficial, fleeting, the contact partner can be easily replaced by another person) and in the form of interaction (systematic, regular actions of partners directed at each other, with the goal of evoking a well-defined response from the side of the partner, and the response generates a new reaction of the influencer). Social relations are a stable system of interaction between partners, which is renewable.

The social meaning of communication is that it acts as a means of transferring the forms of culture and social experience of mankind. Only in the process of a child's communication with adults, more experienced people, does he develop and develop human. Without communication with people, a child does not develop a human psyche, consciousness, and the so-called "mowglis" (children who got into animals) remain at the level of animals. Communication is a necessary condition for the formation of the human psyche and personality. Behavior, activity, attitude of a person to the world and to himself are largely determined by his communication with other people.

In communication, they distinguish three interconnected parties. consists in the exchange of information between people; but communication is not limited to the transfer of information, it is a broader concept. The interactive side is the organization of interaction between people; for example, you need to coordinate actions, distribute functions or influence the mood, behavior, beliefs of the interlocutor. The perceptual side of communication includes the process of perception of each other by communication partners and the establishment of mutual understanding on this basis.

Communication - the process of interaction between people, social groups, communities, in which there is an exchange of information, experience, abilities and results of activities.

In communication, one can distinguish the goal, means, content. The purpose of communication is understood as something for which people enter into communication. Means of communication - a way of transmitting information in the process of communication (speech, words, non-verbal means: intonation, gaze, facial expressions, gestures, postures, etc.). The content of communication is information that is transmitted from one person to another.

In the structure of communication distinguish the following stages:
1. (it is necessary to inform or find out information, influence the interlocutor, agree on joint actions, etc.) encourages a person to make contact with other people.
2. Orientation for the purposes of communication, in a situation of communication.
3. Orientation in the personality of the interlocutor.
4. Planning the content of his communication, a person imagines (usually unconsciously) what exactly he will say.
5. Unconsciously (sometimes consciously) a person chooses specific means, speech phrases that he will use, decides how to speak, how to behave.
6. and evaluation of the interlocutor's response, monitoring the effectiveness of communication based on the establishment of feedback.
7. Correction of direction, style, methods of communication.

If any of the links in the act of communication is broken, then the speaker fails to achieve the expected results of communication - it will turn out to be ineffective. These skills are called "social intelligence", "practical-psychological mind", "", "social skills". Communicative competence - the ability to establish and maintain the necessary contacts with other people. Communicative competence is considered as a system of internal resources necessary to build effective communication in a certain range of situations of interpersonal interaction.

Communication performs a variety of functions: personality-forming (communication is a necessary condition for a person: “with whom you behave, you will gain from that”);
- communicative (transfer of information);
- instrumental (communication acts as a social control mechanism for the implementation of some actions of people, joint activities, decision-making, etc.);
- expressive (allows communication partners to express and understand each other's feelings, emotions, relationships);
- psychotherapeutic (communication, confirmation of people's attention to a person is a necessary factor for maintaining psychological comfort, positive emotional well-being, physical health of a person: “There is no more terrible punishment for a person than being in society and being unnoticed by other people” (W. James);
- integrative (communication acts as a means of bringing people together);
- socializing (through communication there is an assimilation of the norms of culture and values ​​of a certain society);
- the function of self-expression (communication allows you to demonstrate the personal, intellectual potential of a person, his individual characteristics);
The variety of communication functions entails a variety of types, communication strategies.

Communication strategies: 1) open - closed communication; 2) monologue - dialogic; 3) role-playing (based on) - personal (heart-to-heart communication).

Open communication is the desire and ability to clearly express one's point of view and readiness to take into account the positions of others. Closed communication - unwillingness or inability to express clearly one's point of view, one's attitude, the available information. The use of closed communication is justified in the following cases: 1) if there is a significant difference in the degree of subject competence and it is pointless to spend time and effort on raising the competence of the "low side"; 2) in conflict situations, the opening of one's feelings, plans to the enemy is inappropriate. Open communication is effective if there is comparability, but not the identity of subject positions (exchange of opinions, ideas). "One-way questioning" is a semi-closed communication in which a person tries to find out the position of another person and at the same time does not reveal his position. “Hysterical presentation of the problem” - a person openly expresses his feelings, problems, circumstances, not being interested in whether the other person wants to “enter into other people's circumstances”, listen to “outpourings”.

There are the following types of communication:
1) "Mask contact" - formal closed communication, when there is no desire to understand and take into account the personality of the interlocutor, the usual "masks" are used (politeness, severity, indifference, modesty, sympathy, etc.) - a set of facial expressions, gestures, standard phrases that allow you to hide the true attitude towards the interlocutor. In the city, “contact of masks” is even necessary in some situations so that people “do not hurt” each other unnecessarily in order to “isolate themselves” from the interlocutor.

2) Primitive communication - when they evaluate another person as a necessary or interfering object: if necessary, they actively make contact, if it interferes, they will push away or aggressive rude remarks will follow. If they get what they want from the interlocutor, then they lose further interest in him and do not hide it.
3) Formal-role communication - when both the content and the means of communication are regulated, and instead of knowing the personality of the interlocutor, knowledge of his social role is dispensed with.
4) - when they take into account the characteristics of the personality, character, age, mood of the interlocutor for the sake of achieving business interests, while the interests of the case are more significant than possible personal differences.
Code of business communication: a) the principle of cooperativeness - "your contribution should be the one required by the jointly accepted direction of the conversation"; b) the principle of information sufficiency - "say no more and no less than what is required at the moment"; c) the principle of information quality - "do not lie"; d) the principle of expediency - "do not deviate from the topic, be able to find a solution"; e) "express the idea clearly and convincingly for the interlocutor"; f) "know how to listen and understand the right thought"; g) "be able to take into account the individual characteristics of the interlocutor for the sake of the interests of the case."
5) Secular communication. The essence of secular communication is its pointlessness, that is, people do not say what they think, but what is supposed to be said in such cases; this communication is closed, because the points of view of people on a particular issue do not matter and do not determine the nature of communication.

Code of secular communication: 1) politeness, tact - "observe the interests of another"; 2) approval, consent - “do not blame another”, “avoid objections”; 3) "be kind, friendly."

If one interlocutor is guided by the principle of politeness, and the other by the principle of cooperativeness, they can get into ridiculous, ineffective communication. Therefore, the rules of communication must be agreed upon and followed by both participants.

6) Spiritual, interpersonal communication of friends - when you can touch on any topic and it is not necessary to resort to the help of words, a friend will understand you by facial expressions, movements, intonation. Such communication is possible when each participant has an image of the interlocutor, knows his personality, can anticipate his reactions, interests, beliefs, attitudes.
7) is aimed at extracting benefits from the interlocutor, using different techniques (flattery, intimidation, "throwing dust in the eyes", deceit, demonstration of kindness) depending on the characteristics of the interlocutor's personality. The manipulator seeks to achieve his goals to the detriment of the goals of the interlocutor, while skillfully hiding it - using the knowledge of the psychological characteristics of the character and personality of the interlocutor, "distracting tricks and techniques."
8) Imperative type of communication - a person does not hide the priority of his goals over the goals of a partner, seeks to establish control over the external behavior of a partner, using orders, instructions, requirements, rewards, punishments, instructions. The imperative type of communication is justified in extreme situations, if the partner's actions threaten his life or the lives of others.
9) Dialogue humanistic communication implies full mutual acceptance by partners in communication of each other, their equality, communication on an equal footing, a positive emotional tone of their relationship, the possibility of self-disclosure, self-development of partners.

Communication- a specific form of human interaction with other people as members of society; in communication social relations of people are realized.

There are three interrelated sides in communication: the communicative side of communication consists in the exchange of information between people; interactive side - in the organization of interaction between people: for example, you need to coordinate actions, distribute functions or influence the mood, behavior, beliefs of the interlocutor; the perceptual side of communication is the process of perception of each other by communication partners and the establishment of mutual understanding on this basis.

Means of communication:

1. Language- a system of words, expressions and rules for their combination into meaningful statements used for communication. Words and the rules for their use are the same for all speakers of a given language, and this makes communication possible using the language. If I say "table", I am sure that any of my interlocutors connects with this word the same concept as I do - this objective social meaning of the word can be called a sign of the language. But the objective meaning of the word is refracted for a person through the prism of his own activity and already forms his own personal, "subjective" meaning, so we do not always understand each other correctly.

2. Intonation, emotional expressiveness, which is capable of giving different meanings to the same phrase.

3. facial expressions, posture, gaze of the interlocutor can enhance, complement or refute the meaning of the phrase.

4. Gestures how the means of communication can be both generally accepted, i.e. have meanings assigned to them, or expressive, i.e. serve to increase the expressiveness of speech.

5. Distance, on which the interlocutors communicate, depends on cultural, national traditions, on the degree of trust in the interlocutor.

Stages of communication:

1. The need for communication (it is necessary to communicate or find out information, influence the interlocutor, etc.) encourages a person to make contact with other people.

2. Orientation for the purposes of communication, in a situation of communication.

3. Orientation in the personality of the interlocutor.

4. Planning the content of his communication: a person imagines (usually unconsciously) what he will say.

5. Unconsciously (sometimes consciously) a person chooses specific means, speech phrases that he will use, decides how to speak, how to behave.

6. Perception and assessment of the interlocutor's response, monitoring the effectiveness of communication based on the establishment of feedback.

7. Correction of direction, style, methods of communication.

If any of the links in the act of communication is broken, then the speaker fails to achieve the expected results of communication - it will turn out to be ineffective. These skills are called "social intelligence", "practical-psychological mind", "communicative competence", "sociability".

Rudaya O.Yu., head of the department of psychological support
child and adolescent development and career guidance
Center for psychological support of educational activities
GAOU DPO "KGIRO"

Communication is a specific form of human interaction with other people as members of society; social relations are realized in communication

Communication is a specific form
human interaction with
other people as members
society; in communication are implemented
social relations of people.

There are three interrelated aspects in communication:

- the communicative part consists in
exchange of information between people;
- the interactive side is
organization of interaction between people;
- the perceptual side includes the process
perception of each other by partners
communication and establishment on this basis
mutual understanding.

Means of communication

Language is a system of words, expressions and rules for their connection in
meaningful utterances used for communication.
intonation, emotional expressiveness, which
capable of giving different meanings to the same phrase.
Facial expressions, posture, gaze of the interlocutor can enhance,
complement or refute the meaning of the phrase.
Gestures as a means of communication can be
generally accepted, that is, to have assigned to them
meaning, or expressive, that is, to serve for
greater expressiveness of speech.
The distance at which interlocutors communicate depends on
from cultural, national traditions, from the degree
confidence in the interlocutor.

The communication process includes the following steps:

The need for communication - encourages a person to enter into
contact with other people.
Orientation in order to communicate, in a situation of communication.
Orientation in the personality of the interlocutor.
Planning the content of your message.
Unconsciously (sometimes consciously) a person chooses
specific means, phrases that will
use, decides how to speak, how to behave.
Perception and evaluation of the interlocutor's response,
monitoring the effectiveness of communication based on the establishment
feedback.
Adjustment of direction, style, methods of communication.

Communication is a process of two-way exchange of information leading to mutual understanding. Translated from lat. this term means "general, times

Communication is a process
bilateral exchange
information leading to
mutual understanding. In translation
from lat. this term means
"common, shared with all."
If not achieved
understanding, then
communication
did not take place.

Reasons for poor communication:

Stereotypes are simplified opinions about individuals
or situations.
"Preconceived notions" - the tendency to reject everything that
contradicts his own views, what is new, unusual.
Bad relationships between people, because if the relationship
hostile person, it is difficult to convince him of justice
your gaze.
Lack of attention and interest of the interlocutor, and interest
occurs when a person realizes the importance of information for
myself.
Neglect of facts, that is, the habit of drawing conclusions in the absence of a sufficient number of facts.
Errors in the construction of statements: wrong choice of words,
complexity of the message, weak persuasiveness, illogicality, etc.
Wrong choice of strategy and tactics of communication.

Types of communication

"Mask Contact"
Primitive communication
Formal role communication
Business conversation
Spiritual. interpersonal communication
manipulative communication
Secular fellowship

Distance zones in human contact

Intimate zone (15-45 cm) - only
close, well-known people; for this zone
characteristic - trust, a quiet voice in
communication, tactile contact, touch.
Personal, or personal zone (45-120 cm) for everyday
conversations with friends and colleagues involves only
eye contact.
The social zone (120-400 cm) is usually respected during
the time of official meetings, as a rule, with those who are not
know very much.
The public area (more than 400 cm) implies communication with
a large group of people - for example, in a lecture room
audience.

10. The richest "alphabet" of gestures can be divided into six groups:

Illustrator gestures
Gestures-regulators
Emblem gestures
Gestures adapters
Gestures-affectors
Micro gestures

11. Factors that interfere with the correct perception and evaluation of other people

The presence of predetermined attitudes, assessments, beliefs
Presence of already formed stereotypes
The desire to draw a premature conclusion about
personality of the person being assessed
halo effect
Projection effect
The effect of "primacy"
Lack of desire and habit to listen to
other people's opinion
The effect of "the latest information"

12. Feedback in communication is a message addressed to another person about how I perceive him, what I feel in connection with our relationship.

Communication feedback is
message addressed to another
man, about how I
I perceive what I feel in connection
with our relationship
it makes me feel
behavior.

13. Feedback rules

Talk about exactly what the person is doing.
when his actions cause you certain feelings.
If you talk about what you don't like about this
person, try to mainly celebrate what he could
if you want to change yourself.
Don't rate. Remember: feedback is not
information about what constitutes a
person, this is more information about you in connection with
this person, with how you perceive this
person, what you like and what you don't like.

14.

Ways of interaction
characteristic of
nonviolent communication
- request,
- explanation,
- a call for cooperation,
- praise, good word,
- promotion,
- approval,
- personal example,
- an agreement
- drafting a verbal contract,
- mutual respect
- communication on an equal footing,
- creating a creative atmosphere,
- humor (not irony!),
- Team work,
- informal atmosphere,
- financial incentives
- providing freedom of choice,
- creating a situation of success,
- gentle touch
- showcasing the positives
child
Ways of interaction
characteristic of
forced intercourse
- scream, threat,
- order,
- coercion, pressure,
- unconstructive criticism
- accusation
- labeling,
- comparison,
- blackmail,
- physical punishment
- humiliation
- authoritarianism,
- mistrust
- ridicule, irony,
- ignoring
- House arrest,
- financial punishment
- ban,
- excessive demands,
- an insult
- discussion in front of everyone

15. Mental forms of violence

rejection, constant criticism of the child,
verbal threats,
insulting remarks,
deliberate physical and social isolation,
lies, failure by adults to fulfill their promises,
neglect of the needs of the child (lack of care and
child care).

16. Reasons for teachers to use violent methods of interaction

emotional burnout,
emotional instability,
pedagogical illiteracy, incompetence,
personal dislike,
unwillingness to use non-violent methods of communication,
lack of time,
increased conflict of the personality of the teacher,
teacher hyperactivity,
deliberate use of violent means of communication in
educational purposes,
communication style,
problems of the teacher (financial, in personal life),
increased conflict of the child,
child hyperactivity,
child's personal problems
the child understands only violent methods,
extreme situations,
the action of the protective mechanisms of the psyche.

17. Defense mechanisms of the psyche

Description of the action of the protective mechanism of the psyche.
projection
Man attributes his negative traits
projects (shifts) its problems.
to another
crowding out
The psyche displaces resentment, shame, guilt, negative moments.
A person forgets what he does not like.
regression
Regression is characterized by withdrawal into regressive behavior, such
way the psyche protects itself from overload.
substitution
Substitution develops when a person holds back an emotion
anger at someone who is higher in status. As a result, the absence
the opportunity to respond to a status offender leads to a breakdown of anger
on more vulnerable people. This may lead to
the child who is offended and who endures it replaces it in
that he begins to beat and offend the younger ones, animals, and when
grows up, he becomes an offender.

18.

negation
compensation
overcompensation
rationalization
The psyche does not perceive negative, painful
information, protecting itself from failure.
For example, a person denies that he is sick; does not perceive
death of a loved one.
What is denied interferes with the stable work of the human psyche.
Not to be confused with slyness!
Compensation is characterized by the replacement of losses, lack of
development of one sphere by rapid development in another, the one that
more capable of filling.
For example, if a person fails in one area to achieve
success (in his personal life), he is actively developing in another area (to
for example, in professional).
Hypercompensation is characterized by the replacement of losses, shortcomings,
complexes in the pursuit of rapid development in the field, which
requires a strong effort of strength, will and courage. Human
works to achieve success and achieves it in those areas
which are difficult for him.
The action of the hypercompensating mechanism is aimed at
achieving the development of self-esteem, the growth of self-esteem.
For example, a disabled person without legs skillfully performs complex tricks,
which are difficult for a healthy person.
Rationalization is characterized by a logically clear alignment
explanations for past failures, upheavals. This psyche
protects itself from failure.
For example, a person unconsciously finds an excuse for his
failures, rationalizes what has happened. Support is the basis for building self-confidence in
your pupils.
Support is understood as a sign of attention given
a person in a situation where he is objectively unsuccessful,
made in the form of a direct speech statement and
relating to the area in which he currently has
difficulties. Support excludes comparison with anyone,
except for himself.
To provide support, thus defining
unconditional acceptance of the other becomes, and unimportant
become his results, grades at school, external beauty
and something else for which we usually praise other people.

20. Listening is not silence, but a more complex, active process, during which invisible connections are somehow established between people

Listening is not silence, but
the process is more complex
active, during which
somehow
invisible
connections between people
that feeling of understanding
which makes effective
any communication.

21. The type of listening, in which the reflection of information comes to the fore, is called active listening. Active listening involves: - Zain

Type of hearing in which the foreground is
reflection of information is called
active listening.
Active listening involves:
- Interested attitude to the interlocutor.
- Clarifying questions.
- Paraphrase of the type: "Did I understand correctly that ...?"
(with a question mark at the end of the phrase).
- Getting an answer to your question (this could be:
"Yes", "No, wrong", "Not really, I mean in
mind…”).

22. Rules for Empathic Listening

Need to tune in to listen
With your reaction to the partner’s words, you must exactly
reflect the experience, feeling, emotion behind it
saying
Need to pause
Remember that empathic listening is not
interpretation of the secret motives hidden from the interlocutor
behavior
In cases where a teenager is excited, it is quite simple
support a teenager with interjections, short phrases
like "Yes, yes", "Uh-huh", nod your head or repeat it
last words ("echo reaction")
Empathic listening technique makes sense to apply
only if the teenager himself wants to share
some kind of experience

23. In a tense situation, when you experience strong feelings, but you don’t like them and you have difficulty expressing them, the most

In a stressful situation when you
have strong feelings, but they
you do not like and you have
difficulty expressing them
the easiest way to solve this
the problem is to be aware of your feelings and
call them to your partner. It is this
way of self-expression is called
I am a statement.

24. I-statement is:

verbal way of expressing feelings
occurring in stressful situations.
A constructive alternative to the You-statement,
which is traditionally used in conflicts
through the expression of a negative assessment to the address
another, while being responsible for the situation
transferred to this other.
A way of naming a problem for yourself and at the same time
awareness of one's own responsibility for
solution.

25. Scheme of I-statement

1. Description of the situation that caused the tension:
When I see that you...
When it happens...
When I am faced with...
2. The exact naming of your feeling in this situation:
I feel… (annoyance, helplessness, bitterness, pain,
bewilderment, etc.).
I don't know how to react...
I am having a problem...
3. Name reasons:
Because…
Due to the fact that…