Why a child does not love mom and how to fix the situation. "Mom, you're bad!" "I do not love you!" Is it worth it to be offended by a child? I loved you like a child mother

You stand in the darkness as if drawn.
Don't look after me, I won't say a word.
[b]
I sculpted you like a statue from clay;
I loved you like a child's mother;
I loved you, you are so nice;
You are so nice.
[b]
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
[b]
No more return to the past
And do not read the letters of a madman.
Smoke remains, how I love you.
[b]
Let the light shed, in the kiss of truth
We will find the answer - worth or meaningless.
Let the light shine, how I love you.
[b]
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
[b]
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.

You stand in darkness as if drawn.
Do not look after me, I will not say a word.
[b]
I sculpted you like a clay statue;
I loved you like a child his mother;
I loved you, you are so glorious;
You are so glorious.
[b]
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
[b]
No more return past time
And do not read the letters of a madman.
It remains smoke, how can I love you.
[b]
Let the light shine, in the kiss of truth
We will find the answer - worth il meaningless.
Let the light shine, how I love you.
[b]
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
[b]
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.

Raising children is a daily and not at all an easy job. Of course, being parents is happiness, and this is especially understood when a child, smiling, says: “How I love you!” And if completely different phrases fly out of the mouth of the baby, sharp, offensive? Why is this happening and how should parents react in such situations?

“I don’t love you!”, “You are bad!”, “I’m going to live with my grandmother!” – these phrases are probably heard by many parents from their children. Resentment floods my heart: how is it, we do everything for him, and he says this! The question arises: why, well, why did he say that? Does he really not love? Does he think it's bad? Does he really want to live with his grandmother?

This is a test that every parent must pass. Someone knows how to build a relationship with a baby in such a way that these phrases are very rare, and in some families they, unfortunately, are a familiar background of communication. In order to properly deal with such unpleasant behavior of a child, you need to understand why he says these phrases? Does he want to achieve something or just "let off steam"? What are the reasons for such behavior?

This behavior most often occurs:

* after the child was not given what he wanted, i.e. did not fulfill his desire;

* after punishment or its promise;

* as a reaction to a really unfair or cruel treatment of a child (cumulative or one-time);

* as a repetition (possibly jokingly) of those phrases that he heard from adults;

* as habitual behavior in relation to a certain person, in the event that the closest people of the child are in conflict with him.

Almost all of these reasons (except "jokes") may or may not lead to your child saying cruel words to you. “I don’t love you” is just one way to express resentment or rejection of a person, along with other ways (offended silence, crying, throwing toys). But the expression of resentment is not the only motive for uttering cruel words by a child.

The child is small, and there is a great temptation to think that, speaking cruel phrases, he "does not know what he is doing." But actually it is not. In the behavior of even babies 2-3 years old, the goals that they want to achieve are clearly visible. What are the main motives for such behavior and what to do in each of the cases?

When and how

To say “I don’t love you!”, You must at least be able to speak, put words into phrases and understand their meaning. Does this mean that such phrases can only be heard from children who have crossed the line of 3-4 years? Yes, but it starts even earlier.

Up to 2 years there is no verbal manifestation, but there are aggressive actions. As long as the child knows how to act, but not to speak. If at this age one learns to respond correctly to actions such as hitting, hurting, spitting, biting, etc., then the problem of cruel phrases may not arise. In many ways, such behavior is a study of the boundaries of what is permitted and clarification for oneself how parents react to such provocative actions, as well as a reaction of resentment.

2–3 years. The child learns to speak, quickly accumulates a dictionary and begins to use it. He generally understands the meaning of phrases. You can already hear from him short, but emotional phrases “You are bad!”, “Mom-byaka!”. At this age, this is a direct emotional reaction to the prohibitions of adults or the repetition (“working out” in speech) of phrases that he hears from adults. The kid can already join a “support group” and say these phrases in relation to that family member who has a conflict, for example, with his mother.

3.5–5 years. The beginning of manipulative behavior. The child begins to understand that certain actions carry a certain reaction (winning or sanctions). What brings gain is fixed in behavior. This is the age of unconscious manipulation. All other reasons (expression of resentment without the purpose of influencing an adult, membership in a "support group") also remain.

5,5–7 years. The rise of manipulation. The child begins to use the manipulation more consciously and not so "straightforward". But not all children of this age manipulate with cruel words. Just like toddlers, they can use them simply as a reaction to insults. The motive of the "support group" also does not lose its relevance.

How not to react to hurtful words of a child

* Reciprocal irritation. No need to yell at the child and scold him for what he said. His words are only a manifestation of one of the inner motives to be understood;

* Physical aggression. Some parents are tempted to spank their child for "educational" purposes. Of course, the child may be silent for fear, but only to be confirmed in the correctness of what he said;

* Indifference, ostentatious or real. The child, saying “I don’t love you!” Wants to show how important what happened to him, and your indifference builds a new “wall” between you;

* Concessions. One of the biggest mistakes that lead to perpetuating manipulation is to allow the child to do what was forbidden, so that he does not think that you do not love him.

The first story: "I'm so offended!"

Little Danilka, who recently turned 2 years old, is a very mobile and inquisitive child. And sometimes his mother Oksana has to limit this activity, keeping him away from something dangerous and not giving him some items. Danilka reacts very violently to this: she starts crying, stomping her feet and shouting to her mother: “Bad!” Oksana's heart shrinks, because she loves her son so much. So why is he so unfair to her and does not understand that this is for his own safety?

The first, and the earliest manifestation of the motive of cruel words addressed to parents, is a direct emotional reaction, an expression of resentment. In this way, even the smallest children, 1.5–2 years old, can express resentment. When a child is not given what he currently wants, he protests. Children, especially under 3 years old, have difficulty managing their emotions, and some interesting object can capture them completely, and the desire to play with it is almost irresistible. That is why children react so violently if they are not given something or take away the “forbidden” that they got themselves. They also react if an adult decides to punish them. Resentment and protest are very strong feelings, and it is difficult for a child to express them correctly (not every adult knows how to deal with them). Without thinking at all, the baby says what he feels: “You are bad!” He is really angry with you at the moment. And words are a way to express hurt. We adults learn to "mask" feelings and "swallow" resentment. The child does not yet have developed social skills, so he says what he thinks.

A similar, but somewhat different motive is the desire to convey to parents that they are wrong, a demonstration of resentment. It may seem that this point is similar to the previous one. But in fact, the expression of resentment and the demonstration of resentment are two different things. To be or to appear, that is the question! If a child expresses resentment, he does it honestly, with an open heart, even if his words hurt you. But demonstrating resentment, he is already acting, replaying, exaggerating his feelings, wanting to prove to his parents: they are wrong that they did this to him. If in the first case the child wants to throw out a feeling, it is impossible for him to keep resentment inside, then in the case of a demonstration of resentment, the goal is to influence parents. Some children will express resentment with “pouted” silence or crying, and from some you can hear those very cruel words. Children begin to show resentment at the age of about 3.5 years, further improving in this "art".

What to do?

Do not be offended and keep calm, after a while the child will calm down, and your mutual love will return. How quickly this happens depends on the child's temperament, as well as on many factors: fatigue, physical well-being, as well as your own mood. Someone can cry and “sulk” for 10 minutes, and someone will need half an hour for the intensity of emotions to begin to subside. Your task is to help the baby calm down. To do this, you can hug the child, if he allows it. If he breaks out - do not insist. Just crouch next to him so that you are on the same level with his face. Then talk about his feelings for example: "I know that you are very upset that I took your iron away." Speaking out feelings is especially important in the case of demonstrating resentment, because the purpose of such behavior is precisely to convey one's feelings to parents. Talk about the child's feelings several times. It is important that his "I don't love you" turn into "I'm upset." Then continue: “I can't let you play with the iron because it's dangerous. I love you and want you to be healthy." Repeat several times. Try to distract the baby, for example, giving him a finger massage. If you yourself remain calm, then after a while, not too long, you will realize that the baby is calming down. Let him calm down to the end, and then tell him again that you love him very much and try to protect him from dangers. He will smile at you, and this will mean that the conflict has been settled.

Story Two: "Hidden Manipulation"

Larisa, mother of 5-year-old Ksyusha, says: “My daughter is in Lately upsets me. Like any child, she is mischievous, and sometimes she has to be punished. Usually the punishment is that I don't let her watch cartoons. At first she cried, and recently, just a little, she began to say: “You are bad, it would be better if I lived with my dad!” My husband and I have been divorced for two years now, but he communicates with his daughter on Sundays. Hearing this for the first time, I was dumbfounded and, out of surprise, even canceled the punishment, if only she would be convinced that her words were wrong. But now I think she's using it to influence me."

In this case, by uttering cruel words, the child can achieve his own goal. Very often, children use such phrases to manipulate their parents into allowing something that was previously forbidden, or to cancel the punishment. Manipulation must be able to distinguish from the expression and demonstration of resentment, because. in this case, the child skillfully uses phrases that can change your “no” to “yes”.

Manipulations are not born out of nowhere, most often they are a practiced stereotype of behavior. When parents first hear from a child, for example, the phrase “You don’t love me!”, They are afraid that the relationship with the child can be destroyed, and ... they allow what is forbidden. The child, who initially did not pursue this goal, but simply expressed feelings, suddenly realizes that “no” can change to “yes” if you say “magic words”. But not “thank you”, but “you are bad!”. Several times he checks whether this is really so, and after that it becomes a “button”, which he habitually presses, controlling his parents.

What to do?

Most likely, at this stage, you hear such phrases from a child with unpleasant regularity. But if so, then the "button" works. And your goal is to make it stop working. To do this, you need to break the stereotype. Previously, for example, when you heard “I don’t love you” from a child, you got angry, but fulfilled his whim, although you were sure that this should not be done. Now you will need to show firmness and stand your ground to the end. You can’t have candy now, which means you can’t. You can't take your cosmetics, so you can't. You will be able to watch how the aggression becomes stronger. The child will use all the "tools" from his spent arsenal to insist on his own. It's like how we adults, when we can't turn on a broken device, press the button to turn it on with ever-increasing annoyance. It will take some time and several such “sieges” for the child to be convinced that the past behavior has stopped working. And now your goal is to form a new stereotype in the old place. You can show the child (for example, in a game) that some requests can be fulfilled immediately, but you only need to ask well; some will have to wait, but some won't, especially if they are related to security. Be consistent in your behavior: weigh everything well before forbidding or allowing something, so that there is no temptation to change your mind.

Story Three: "Support Group"

Ira is only 3 years old. Her mother Luda loves her daughter very much. But Luda does not have a relationship with her mother-in-law. These relations cracked a long time ago, even before the birth of Irochka, and there is a lot of mutual misunderstanding and reproaches in them. The daughter-in-law and mother-in-law live separately, and Marina Leonidovna rarely comes to visit. Lyuda often discusses her relationship with her mother-in-law with her friends on the playground, and Irochka loves to listen to adult conversations. Her mother does not hesitate to speak in front of her, thinking that she "understands little." But recently there was an incident that proved otherwise. Marina Leonidovna came to visit to congratulate Ira on her birthday, but the girl sat in her mother's arms all the time, not even wanting to go to her grandmother. And when she asked why she did not want to approach her, the girl frowned and said: “Because you are evil!” I must admit that at that moment Luda experienced inner gloating: now, even a child understands who is right and who is wrong, she was able to take revenge on her grandmother for offending her mother! And Marina Leonidovna, after sitting for another 10 minutes, left. This event exacerbated the problems in the relationship, Luda's mother-in-law decided that she was deliberately setting the child against her ...

So, another motive for children to say cruel words is shared aggression, being in a “support group”. If there is a conflict in the family (between spouses, between representatives of different generations), then the child can say cruel words to someone who is on the “opposite” side. For example, a child may say to his grandmother: “Get out of here, we don’t need you,” if he is on the side of his mother, who is at enmity with her mother-in-law. In this case, the child does not express his own feelings, he simply adjoins the one who is closer to him. The kid is still too young to properly assess the situation and remain neutral, he needs to be with someone. And if this someone is at war, then the child will be drawn into this struggle. Children are more frank creatures, and it is from their lips that one can hear those cruel words that adults would like, but cannot say to each other.

What to do?

It is useless to scold the baby for this, although this is exactly what parents want to do. If you “demonstratively” scold the child, feeling satisfaction from the fact that he is on your side, then such “educational” measures will not only not lead to the disappearance of the behavior, but will also consolidate it. There is only one way out - you need to deal with your adult problems. As soon as the tension is gone, the baby will no longer offend a loved one. But it is impossible to quickly solve problems that have been accumulating for a long time. Therefore, while it is necessary to separate the child from these problems, stop making him an “accomplice”. Do not think that the child is too small and does not understand anything. Do not talk with him about the conflict with someone from your family. Try to show more respect in telling your child about the person with whom you have a conflict.

Story Four: "Tough Mom"

Every day at one of the sites the same thing happens. When 4-year-old Vlada and her mother Lena go for a walk, the peace ends. Whatever Vlada does (whether she ran, decided to jump off a log, took someone else's toy to see), everything is accompanied by her mother's screams. With what kind of epithets does a “loving” mother reward her daughter! In addition, Lena spanks the child with all her might. If Vlada falls, she does not even run to her mother, because she will not feel sorry for her, and the girl does not want to receive a new portion of slaps and screams. Recently, the girl also began to scream at her mother, declaring publicly: “You are bad! Evil! Leave!" And "gets" for it again and again.

So, another internal motive for cruel children's words is the expression of true feelings for a person. Perhaps the most painful motivation for both parties, especially if an adult is aware of it. It is not uncommon for parents to be cruel to their children. Some use inappropriately harsh punishments (often physical or based on intimidation). Some constantly “communicate” with the child in a raised voice, in anger they destroy toys dear to his heart. If this happens constantly, then the child completely loses trust in an adult and love turns into hatred. And then the phrase "I hate you!" - this is a statement of this sad fact, when the baby does not hope to "get through", does not manipulate, but expresses the accumulated pain that is in his heart.

What to do?

The main difficulty is the realization that the child really thinks what he says, and has reason for this. Of course, it is easiest to blame the child, list all your “achievements” (“I sing, feed him, buy toys, and he says such things!”). But first of all, it is important for a child to be loved and to show this love in gentle touches, words, eyes. He needs his dignity not to be humiliated, especially in front of strangers. Of course, every parent has episodes of fatigue when he can yell at a child or punish him not quite fairly. But if this happens infrequently, if then you feel remorse, this is a good sign. But if you are constantly irritated, yelling at the child, not doing things together, then those words that you can hear may be the hard-won truth for him. It is difficult to change the situation, but it is possible. And the biggest work should take place inside the adult. Often this requires the help of a psychologist.

So, we examined the motives for the behavior of a child who speaks cruel words, and gave recommendations on how to respond in each of the cases. The most important thing is to learn to forgive the baby, not to accumulate resentment against him. The cruel words of the child are only a consequence of the mistakes that parents make (inattention, rudeness, excessive softness). We wish you to be attentive parents. No need to fight with the words themselves, you need to look "in depth", at what is hidden behind them. And then you will much more often hear words of love and tenderness from the baby.

"Mom, you're bad" - 5 ways to react

Mothers, having heard such statements, are most often very frightened and begin to swear. Some even punish the child for such words by putting them in a corner or depriving them of sweets and the TV. For mom, this is a disaster. In their opinion, the child has now done almost the worst thing in his life - insulted his own mother!

But such statements from the lips of a teenager and a preschool child are filled with completely different content. And it is unlikely that the baby puts into these words the very meaning that, in the opinion of his mother, is contained in them. But let's leave adolescence to school psychologists, and we ourselves will pay attention to our preschool baby.

In fact, there may be a dozen reasons that prompted the child to say this.

Perhaps now he is trying to tell you something very important, but he does not know or does not know how to do it. The only words he found to express his feelings is "Mom, you're bad!". Maybe he is asking for help or he is in pain; he has another stage in his development or a crisis of three, seven or more years; he set out to spend the evening with dad, and then you came home from work earlier; just wondering how you would react to something like that; the child could hear such a statement on the street or in kindergarten or he wanted to do something important, and you interfered?

Remember one thing - such statements do not mean at all that the child does not love you and does not need you anymore. He just said something in the best way he could, or repeated what he had heard somewhere. In the first case, you need to understand his message, and in the second, you need to change yourself or smooth out the street consequences. Therefore, there are only two options for how not to react to such words - do not scold and do not punish.

And here are the ways how to respond correctly there may be several. First, exhale and, if you hear this for the first time, congratulate yourself on the fact that your relationship has a new round of development. If this is not the first time this has happened, then think about why and why the child is saying this.

In both cases, try to act in the following ways:

1. First, you can just say - “okay, clearly, I understand”, “okay, so be it” and keep doing your job. If the child tested you for strength, tried a new word, or expected some kind of violent reaction, he will be disappointed and, most likely, will not want to say that again. In general, calmness is one of the most correct options for responding not only to such, but also to other “unusual” statements.

2. Calmly ask with an interested (!) voice that does not break into hysterics: “Why am I bad?”, “Why do you think so?” It is very likely that the baby will answer your question himself, explaining the reason for his anger - I want candy, I want to play and I don’t want to sleep!

3. Help him understand himself: “Are you offended? Angry? You wanted, and I made you clean up the toys?”, “Did you want to be with dad?” In this case, try to explain to the child why he cannot continue to do what he likes, but be sure to tell him when he can return to it or offer an alternative. For example: “We need to go to the store, otherwise we will all be hungry, let me read to you or will you watch another cartoon in the evening when we return?” “Dad needs to go on business, but when he returns, he will play with you again.” Is it worth adding that one's promise must be kept?

4. Show empathy: "Yes, I know what you mean! I also said that to my mother as a child”, “And I would be upset if they called me home from the street so early”, “I can imagine how angry you are.” It would seem a trifle, but children also need sympathy and understanding.

5. Talk about love. It often helps if you add “I love you anyway” at the end of your statement. Or say it instead of all of the above. Sometimes it works flawlessly.

Don't be intimidated by statements like this. Use them as a signal to think about what's going on. Now, while the child is small, it is much easier to build a trusting relationship with him and fix something than to wait for him to grow up and the scale of the “catastrophe” will grow with him.

Don't look after me, I won't say a word.
You stand in the darkness as if drawn.
Don't look after me, I won't say a word.

I sculpted you like a statue from clay,
I loved you like a child's mother,
I loved you, you are so beautiful
You are so nice.

I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.

No more return to the past
And do not read the letters of a madman.
Smoke remains, how I love you.

Let the light shed, in the kiss of truth
We will find the answer - worth or meaningless.
Let the light shine, how I love you.

I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.

I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.

Transliteration / transcription:
Ty stoish "vo t" me slovno narisovana.
Ne smotri me vsled, ne skazhu ni slova ya.

Ya tebya lepil, how iz gliny statue,
Ya tebya lyubil, like rebenka mat "ego,
Ya tebya lyubil, ty takaya slavnaya,
Ty takaya slavnaya.

How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.

Bol "she ne vernut" vremeni proshedshego
I ne prochitat" pisem sumasshedshego.
Ostaetsya dym, kak zhe ya lyublyu tebya.

Pust "prol" etsya svet, v poceluya istine
My najdem answer - stoit il" bessmyslenno.
Pust "prol" etsya svet, kak zhe ya lyublyu tebya.

How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.

How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.
How zhe ya lyublyu tebya.

Hello dear mothers. Probably, almost every one of you has heard a child say that he does not love his mother. In this article, you will learn what exactly can cause this behavior and how to deal with it.

Why is this happening

Let's see what factors contribute to the birth of such phrases in the baby's head.

1. Mom often finds fault, behaves too strict and biased.
2. Constant employment, fatigue.
3. Indifference to events in a child's life.
4. Mom is bad, she forbids everything, but dad and grandmother allow and pamper.
5. At the age of 4-5 years, a girl may begin to be jealous of her father for her mother, it seems to her that she must certainly become his wife, hence the dislike for her mother. This condition quickly passes, is an age feature.
6. The answer to the prohibition of any action or non-fulfillment of cherished desires.
7. A child may react in this way to punishment, especially if it is unfair.
8. Repetition of words previously heard from adults, said in a fit of anger, for example, from dad to mom.
9. response to the same attitude.
10. When a mother treats a child really badly, over time the baby realizes that she is bad, really stops loving her.
11. An attempt to convey the wrong words to my mother.
12. Antisocial behavior of the mother, such as alcoholism or drug addiction.
13. Physical abuse of a child, all kinds of humiliation.
14. Constant scandals in the family.
15. Manipulation method to achieve the main goal.

Age features

1. The first months of life, the baby is completely dependent on the mother, she is the most dear and close person. It is difficult for a child to part with her, he cries when she is not around, calms down only in her arms. But as they grow older, the baby begins to pay attention to other close relatives. Perhaps you have come across a situation where a child is a year old - he does not love his mother. Basically, this is due to the fact that the baby at this age is already beginning to actively communicate with dad and grandmother, mommy pays less of his attention. The first punishment of the mother, the appearance of any prohibition (it may not even be permission to open the doors of the locker or throw toys out of the crib), may lead to aggressive behavior, pinching, biting, a rattle may fly into her eye. It may seem to a woman that the little one hates her. In fact, this is how the child shows his resentment, in reality he loves her anyway.
2. Until the age of two, you can hear from the baby the phrase “you are bad!” The child already has a minimum vocabulary.
3. At the age of two to three years, the little one already understands the meaning of his statements. At this age, for the first time you can hear the phrase "I do not love you!". Often she appears in response to a ban, and the baby can also duplicate what was previously heard from adults.
4. The age of three to five years is the period when the baby realizes that he can manipulate his parents. He realizes that everything has a cause and effect. In addition to manipulation, a way of expressing one's resentment is also preserved.
5. Age from five to seven years - the child consciously pronounces this phrase, tries to punish his mother in his own words, the phrase can also be pronounced in a fit of anger.

How not to behave

1. Don't let your child vent their anger. This behavior serves a specific purpose of a constructive nature.
2. The kid is just learning to splash out his emotions, there is no need to break loose on him, show his irritation.
3. Never remain indifferent to the feelings, statements of your little one. Sometimes it's better to have a kid scolded than to show no interest in what he's done. After all, then the child may seem that you do not care about him.
4. Never move the conversation from one topic to another. It is important for a child to understand everything to the end.
5. Never give in to your feelings. If you punished a child for something, in response you heard words about dislike, then you should not, being afraid of this, immediately allow him what was previously forbidden. In this case, the child forms the opinion that a phrase of hatred can solve any of his problems, it is enough just to pronounce it and the mother will allow everything.
6. Never blame a child for being ungrateful. Do not say that you do everything for him, but he pays for it with such a coin.
7. After saying the baby, you don’t need to start delving into yourself and think that you are a “bad mom”. The child will notice this and, at any opportunity, will “cut to the quick.”
8. In some cases, the mother understands that her punishment is unreasonable, this is how her subconscious fears manifest themselves, she blames herself for the lack of attention and care for the child and is afraid that she might lose him. He begins to indulge him in everything, satisfies every whim. You can't do that.

What to do, how to react

1. Choose words, taking into account the age characteristics of the child. You must understand that at a very young age, it is still difficult for a toddler to control his anger, you should not expect good behavior, he himself is not yet aware of what he is doing. Consider what kind of vocabulary the baby has, your explanation about the incorrectness of his actions should be constructive and concise. Your task is to explain that the child's statements are unpleasant, even painful for you. A kid over three years old will have to explain for a long time the wrongness of such an act, and perhaps more than once.
2. Leave the right to choose for the child, let him decide whether to say offensive words or not. Tell your offspring that you love him, even if he treats you that way.
3. If a hate phrase has been uttered again, describe to your baby how you feel and what you think he is feeling right now. Help sort out his own feelings.
4. When you hear for the first time that your son or daughter does not love you, carefully analyze the current situation, think about what provoked such words, what went wrong.
5. Establish certain rules in the family, together with the child, negotiate one or another punishment for a specific type of disobedience. The kid should be ready for what will follow this or that action. In addition, it is important that his opinion is taken into account in decision-making.
6. If you hear such a statement, you must calmly respond, do not take it personally. You need to keep thinking that you are a great mother, and these words were spoken by the baby in a fit of anger.
7. If, after analyzing your actions, you see that you really were wrong, realize that everyone makes mistakes. See yourself differently next time.
8. If a child is trying to manipulate in his own words, think about where he got the stereotype of such behavior. Perhaps you yourself often manipulate, for example, with your dad.
9. Do not forget to show your love to the baby, show your tenderness, care. He must feel that he is desired.
10. Give your child as much of your time as possible, be creative, play, go for a walk together.

Grandma is the best

Some families are faced with the fact that the child loves the grandmother more than the mother. This happens especially often if the baby is in contact with her a lot or at all. In such a situation, jealousy on the part of the mother of the little one cannot be avoided.

The problem is that in our time, few people can afford to abandon work, to devote themselves entirely to raising a child. The situation is especially complicated if the peanut does not have a father and all care for his well-being falls on the mother's shoulders. It is good if a mother or mother-in-law is nearby, ready to help. So it turns out that the baby spends days with his grandmother, while his mother is spinning like a "squirrel in a wheel."

A woman becomes very hurt when she realizes that she is no longer the most beloved person in her child's life. But this is a natural process that a child gets used to his grandmother and now it is she who asks for advice, asks for help, hugs and cuddles.

Because of work, parents can hardly be at home. Some mothers run away before the baby wakes up and return when he is already asleep. It is not surprising that the child weaned from it, and all love is redirected to the person who is constantly there, spends time with him, plays.

Mom should understand that the current circumstances are dictated by vital necessity, if possible, try to spend more time with the child, even if she comes home from work late. You can read a fairy tale to a kid or just talk heart to heart with him, hug a child, support him in his endeavors, and rejoice at his successes. It is important to find time in your schedule. A mother with a toddler should have joint business or some kind of tradition. It is important that the baby does not feel abandoned, because it is not uncommon for it is for this reason that he redirects all his feelings to his grandmother, who does not leave him, is always there.

Dad is the main thing in life

There are families in which the child loves the father more than the mother. Moreover, it does not depend on the gender of the baby.

1. In most families, the father scolds the child much less often, puts forward fewer prohibitions. This is due to the fact that he manages to spend very little time with his offspring, and the father does not want to break the relationship, cause tears in the eyes of the child.
2. In families in which only the father works, and the mother stays at home with the baby, there may be a feeling that the child loves the head of the family more. In fact, this is dictated by the fact that mom is always there, and the baby has time to miss dad.
3. Fathers love to pamper their children, they try to give them gifts for any occasion.

My brother every day, returning from work, brings some sweets or small gifts to his daughter.

1. An adult man often behaves like a child. This is what allows you to start a closer relationship with the offspring.
2. The son likes to spend more time with his father, together they can play cars, go karting, run with the ball in the yard, shoot at the shooting range. They have many common interests.
3. Dad will not play with toys with his daughter, but he will take care of the little princess even more strongly, will try to fulfill her every whim, will protect her from her mother’s punishments, will always support, talk heart to heart. Some girls behave like little boys, so they will be happy to play with dad in boyish games.

I'll tell you about myself. My parents divorced when I was not yet eight years old. Most of all I loved spending time with my dad. It was interesting to play with him, go hiking, listen to his stories. Now I understand that my mother had to have time to run to work, run around the house, cook food for everyone, and dad, when he came home, could give all his time to the children. After the divorce, my father moved to live in another city, it became much harder for my mother, she had to raise me and my brother to her feet, she was forced to go to three jobs to feed us. Therefore, she did not have time at all to be around, even just to talk, to hug.

1. Often the actions of the pope contradict the mother's educational process. It is difficult for a father to forbid a child to do what he wants. So it turns out that mom is categorically against when dad allows everything. So the father earns his authority in the eyes of the younger generation. As a result, it turns out that one word is enough for dad for the baby to obey him, and for mom there are not enough thousands of arguments to achieve this goal.

How to make a difference

How to behave so that the love of the little one for you is no less than for dad:

Now you know what can cause such behavior in children. Do not forget about the need to calmly respond and think about the situation that has arisen. Act correctly, in accordance with the above recommendations, establish a stable bridge of communication with the child, do not forget to pay attention to him, communicate as an equal, show your love and care.