How to gain self-confidence: useful tips. How to gain self-confidence: useful tips Self-doubt and its three indicators

Low self-esteem is not the best assistant on the path to success and self-realization. Even realizing why insecurity has arisen, it is not always possible to gain self-confidence. What is it connected with? Most likely with the degree of neglect of such a state. Like a disease that is quite easy to treat in the early stages and much more difficult if not done in time.

So the uncertainty that has been sitting in a person for years, eventually becomes a part of his life. Is there a way out of this situation? How to gain self-confidence after many years of being "below the floor"? First of all, raise your head, open your eyes and start reading this article.

We will not analyze the reasons that underestimate self-esteem. After all, recommendations on how to acquire work equally effectively, regardless of why a person has become less self-confident. The reasons are not so important, because they are already in the past. Much more important are the ways to help fix everything, because the future depends on them. The only thing we can advise is to go through in order to understand exactly how hard you have to work.

1. Diary of success.

Sometimes, "trying to reach for the stars", people do not notice life itself, ceasing to enjoy it. For example, just because someone had one failure at a new job doesn't mean they haven't made dozens of victories at something else. Why dwell on failure when there are achievements? A good tip on how to gain self-confidence is to start a Success Diary, where you write down all your daily victories. It is not necessary to wait for new achievements, you can remember what has already been done and start writing it down, regularly adding new achievements. In those moments when conceit begins to suffer, and hands fall, it is enough to reread this diary, reminding yourself of your victories.

2. Active lifestyle.

In order for the Success Diary to turn into a real library, it is advisable to accustom yourself to an active lifestyle. Every day gives many opportunities for self-realization. If you do not miss them, then it will become obvious how to gain confidence. For example, you can enroll in graphic design courses, successfully complete them, get a certificate and, thereby, increase your self-esteem. Or, go to dances, becoming more confident in discos.

If there is no desire or opportunity to spend money, then there are dozens of free activities: all kinds of flash mobs, exhibitions, literary evenings, volunteer projects, social initiatives, etc. It is enough just to google posters or announcements of your city. The search engine will instantly issue dozens of offers for the near future.

3. Friends and relationships.

The more active a person is, the wider his social circle is, the more likely he is to find a company and meet his love. True friends will always support and come to the rescue, and a life partner will not let you doubt your personal significance. But for them to appear, you need to get up from the couch and leave the house. Social networks or mobile applications, for all their potential, will never replace relationships and friendships. But some joint project or a real hobby will definitely tell you how to gain confidence and find like-minded people.

A person's hobby is an occupation that is to their liking, and, accordingly, the desire to engage in it is much stronger than studying or working. If a person does something with interest, then success in this type of activity is much more real. Accordingly, a hobby is a great option for gaining self-confidence. For example, some office worker, with no particular career prospects, may be a top-notch martial arts instructor. In addition to the purely psychological aspect associated with an increase in self-esteem, a hobby very often becomes a matter of a person’s whole life, gradually providing him with income and recognition.

5. Daily affirmations.

How to gain confidence in yourself if you have doubts about your abilities? In addition to working on ourselves, it is advisable to practice self-hypnosis - regular repetition of how wonderful and successful we are. This practice is called affirmations - a clear setting that attracts the expected changes in a person's life. For example, it is difficult for someone to get a job because they are not sure of their potential. If such a person begins to repeat to himself every morning, looking in the mirror, one simple phrase: “I am very promising, all employers are interested in me, the best job is mine,” then gradually he himself will believe in it. And self-confidence ensures the achievement of goals.

6. Attention to your appearance.

An equally important item for men and women. Of course, there are specifics, but being well-groomed, clean and fit is important for everyone. It is not necessary to spend significant money for this. Clothing can be simple, but neat and tastefully selected. Expensive gyms can be replaced with a free sports ground or a treadmill in a nearby park. You will see for yourself how much easier it will be to gain self-confidence, if you are confident about your appearance.

7. Motivating videos or books.

The Internet is full of all kinds of motivators or success stories that are freely available. They literally explain everything. How to gain self-confidence, how to meet a girl, how to get a job, how to build a fusion reactor in the kitchen. Anything. There is even a book "How to control the Universe without attracting the attention of orderlies." So, instead of just another soap opera or a highly intellectual show, you can, for a change, read or watch something inspiring. Who knows, maybe one of these motivators will drastically change someone's life, showing the way to success and recognition.

Asking the question “How to gain self-confidence?” - this is very good and right. A person, at least, realizes that something is wrong in his life and it should be corrected. There is no need to be ashamed of this. Worse, when someone does not even realize that his self-esteem is low. If he is regularly told that he deserves more than he takes away for himself, this is an occasion to think about it and make every possible effort to gain self-confidence. After all, adequate self-esteem makes life much easier and allows you to fully realize yourself.

Confidence is an excellent quality that allows you to positively and realistically assess behavior in any situation. It is not always given from birth, so you need to make an effort to acquire it. Without this quality it is difficult to become a successful person. In any situation, there are many situations that involve getting out of your comfort zone. They arise in any work and in everyday life. Let's take a look at how to gain self-confidence.

Fundamental rules

To restore a sense of self-worth, you need to familiarize yourself with the main secrets of absolute self-confidence:

1. Recognition of the problem

After that, it is worth dealing with the reasons for the lack of quality. Answer questions that cause embarrassment, a sense of shame. Sometimes the cause is psychological trauma received in childhood from bullying by peers or thoughtless words of parents. It is necessary to carefully consider this shortcoming, which leads to a feeling of inferiority, to realize its failure and try to stop paying excessive attention to it. It is better to think more about the question of how to believe in yourself and gain confidence.

2. Conversation with loved ones

The environment can help a lot, cheer you up. Often, friends and family do not even notice the lack that prevents an insecure person from living a full life. Read about the development of relationships in the section.

3. Forgiving yourself

4. Create a list of strengths

Each person has certain talents that must be realized. Uncertainty is the state of the victim, preventing full development. If the list of abilities turned out to be small, it's not scary. It is worth getting down to business, starting even with small steps, and the question of how to increase self-confidence will be resolved.

5. Gratitude for what is

With an attack of pity for your person, you should remember about orphans, terminally ill people, homeless animals. They are much worse and would be happy with what you have. It helps not only to realize this fact, but also to help those in need.

6. Maintain a positive attitude

Even in unpleasant situations, it is important to try to find the positive side. How to develop this quality? The secret to self-confidence is that you should not allow others to show pity towards you, get rid of it in your thoughts.

7. Accepting compliments

If looks are praised, bags under the eyes should not be mentioned. It will be much more pleasant for a person to hear gratitude for sincere words.

8. The confidence game

If self-confidence is gone, it is worth imagining that you have to spend an hour or a day as a confident person. In the evening you want to stay like this forever.

9. Integrity

The secret of self-confidence is that you should not adapt to other people, change your mind to please them. Own principles cause much more respect.

10. Help others

A homeless animal needs food, a sad friend needs moral support. If you help people every day, pity disappears on its own and the question of how to gain self-confidence becomes less relevant.

Practical exercises

If you are interested in the question of how to develop self-confidence, you can do simple exercises that are used in everyday life. Examples of psychological practical exercises to increase self-confidence:

• Call to the intercom. Go to any door and call an unknown apartment. Try to get you through;
• Acquaintance. It will help to develop calmness and raise self-esteem if you approach any person on the street and start a conversation;
• The word "no". Not everyone can refuse. How to develop this quality? First you need to learn how to do it in small things. If you are asked to meet at seven, you must insist on meeting at eight.

affirmations

By the Law of Attraction, thoughts create reality. If self-confidence is lost, then a negative scenario of life is realized, and favorable opportunities will bypass.

Therefore, it is very important to remain optimistic under any circumstances. A person with low self-esteem programs himself for failure. To change this, self-confidence affirmations are needed.

The main affirmation for self-confidence will be the words "I love you." Until you succeed in developing love, the question of how to increase self-confidence will not be resolved. The phrase can be said in front of the mirror, out loud, 12 times after waking up and before going to bed. Repeat the exercise for 30 days.

Other affirmations for self-confidence:

• I'm confident.
• I love everything about myself.
• I understand the value of life.
• I always achieve my goal.
• All my dreams come true.
• I am responsible for life.
• My speech is calm and confident.
• The universe loves me.

They can solve the problem of how to gain self-confidence if taken seriously.

Confidence gestures

Absolute self-confidence is manifested in gestures. A person with this quality is characterized by a neat appearance, the absence of superfluous things. The gaze keeps the interlocutor in sight, the eyes do not drop quickly. His voice is controlled, the tone is raised if necessary. The voice is clear and even, there are appropriate pauses.

The man stands firmly on his feet. It emphasizes physical, mental stability . If the interlocutor falls back, it seems that he wants to end the conversation. In the case when the chin is upturned, the posture is considered defiant and arrogant.

The gestures that the interlocutor uses also show his self-esteem. In a confident person, they are bright and direct. One of the gestures of confidence is when a person holds his hands near his chest, while not crossing them. This indicates his sense of superiority. They can be folded "house", there is no nervousness in the gestures. The handshake is firm, the hand dry and warm.

Let's take a closer look at what confidence gestures are, and how to develop self-confidence with their help. :

• Spire gesture. A person joins the fingers of his hands, making, as it were, a gable roof. Its tip goes up towards the head. This gesture is often observed in people with a high social position. Such a person is sure that the development of events takes place in a direction favorable to him;
• open gestures. Confident people do not cross their arms and legs, insecure people want to protect themselves with closed postures. In the first case, the person is in a relaxed state, hands are in a free position. Gestures are directed towards the interlocutor, palms are open;
• Big fingers. If they are demonstrated, this is a sign of inner confidence in one's own significance. They can be seen from the pockets, be on the lapel of the jacket;
• The man puts his hands behind his head. This characterizes the awareness of one's own competence, a sense of self-respect. Often such a gesture is used by leaders with subordinates. When interacting with superior people, this is not observed.

Unsure man has a closed pose, arms crossed
Showing thumbs up indicates high self-esteem

Confidence and self-confidence

When measures to change your confidence need to be taken urgently, then the online course will help you quickly and effectively.

It seems that these concepts are identical. But if you look closely, they are very different. Let's look at the definition of each concept to understand the difference between confidence and overconfidence.

What is the difference between self-confidence and certainty? The first concept is an excessive, ostentatious and unreasonable belief in one's infallibility. Healthy self-confidence is a property that is based on an objective assessment of skills, capabilities and abilities.

Self-confidence means believing that your strengths and abilities are sufficient to cope with any task and problem that arises in front of you. This is an understanding that you look worthy in the eyes of the people around you.

A self-confident person knows that his desires are worth realizing, knows that his abilities and energy are enough to achieve what he wants.
Without self-confidence, it is difficult to achieve the desired goals. It is difficult to decide on an act if thoughts arise in the head: “Can I do this? Am I worth it? Is the task at hand greater than myself?

As practice shows, what a person achieves often depends not on his abilities and talent, but on the strength of his self-confidence.

Therefore, it is worth spending time to increase self-confidence or enhance this quality.

7 tips for gaining self-confidence:

1. Competence

Try to be well versed in the issues you are dealing with. The deeper you know the subject, the more self-confidence you will feel. At least, it will be confidence in individual issues.

2. Behavior

In contacts with people, you can most likely easily determine whether this or that person is confidently holding himself or he is not confident in himself. The main signals for you will be his gestures, looks, posture, speech. Just as it is true that a person's inner confidence is reflected in his behavior, the opposite is also true: a certain behavior forms internal sensations corresponding to this behavior.

Determine what behavior for you is a reflection of the person's confidence. You can develop self-confidence by adhering to these qualities in your behavior.

Several universal properties of confident behavior can be identified. Gestures: body position is open, gestures correspond to speech in pace and character. Speech: smooth, without haste, without hesitation, addressed to the interlocutor, of sufficient volume. Look: open, directed to the interlocutor. In addition, a straight posture and a firm gait are important.

3. Appearance

Your appearance should not make you think that something is wrong with you. Your thoughts are reflected in your behavior and your lack of confidence in your appearance will certainly affect your overall level of self-confidence. This is a completely subjective question. If you are not satisfied with your physical form, do your best to put it in order. If you think that your clothes do not suit you, take care of your wardrobe so that looking in the mirror at your reflection can positively affect your self-confidence.

4. Role model

The best way to learn is from living examples. Find yourself a role model - a person who, in your opinion, certainly has a high level of self-confidence. This may be a person from your environment or a person who does not know you personally, but so that you have enough material to study, including video material.

See what you can adopt for yourself. Features of speech, gestures, attitudes, approaches to clothing.

5. Activity

Few things compare to reinforcing self-confidence with a positive result of their actions. When you wanted something, showed activity in this direction and achieved a result that suits you.

This is a big topic and I will not develop it here. Let me just say that it is important to understand your desires and take action to achieve them. It is important to correctly assess the risks and opportunities. There will always be more negative results than positive ones, but this should not stop. The negative result should be a lesson. It is important to analyze your failures, draw conclusions, change yourself and make new attempts.

6. Find the cause

Determine the reasons why you need self-confidence. What will change if your confidence increases. Will your position at work or your relationships with others change? Reasons should be sufficient incentives to keep you willing to change.

7. Relation to others

Be considerate of others. If you see that your interlocutor is insecure, try to cheer him up. This attitude will allow you, in turn, to develop more self-confidence.

We are not born with a developed sense of self-confidence. The level of confidence depends on how we were brought up, how our parents encouraged us in childhood and the people around us encourage our achievements now, how we interpret the events that happen to us, how we perceive criticism. All this has a direct impact on our sense of self-esteem, self-esteem and, of course, our sense of self-confidence.

Self-confident people are ready to take responsibility for their actions and deeds, are able to accept constructive and reasoned criticism in their address, admit their mistakes and learn from them.

It's never too late to develop a sense of self-confidence. The main thing is to have a desire and make an effort for this. Here are some tips that might help you:

Make peace with yourself

This is the most important step.

Stop beating yourself up for being insecure. It makes no sense, you only make the situation worse. Come to terms with the fact that you are who you are, and this is not fatal. Convince yourself of this for real, not only in words that you repeat to yourself a couple of times.

When you allow yourself to be like this, you will already feel relieved. The next step is to decide what to do with it and build a plan of action.

Take the first step and you will understand that not everything is so scary. Seneca

Stop talking to people who spread negativity

In life, we are surrounded by a huge number of people who constantly spread negative energy around them. As a rule, everything is bad with them, and this bad reciprocates them. Such people will meet any of your undertakings with hostility and harsh criticism. These people preferred to stay where they were and not move anywhere.

Leave them there, and move forward yourself, towards development and self-improvement.

Connect with those who believe in you and support you

Build a social circle of people who believe in you and support you. I'm not talking about people who do not criticize you, but about those who criticize constructively, for the sake of understanding the essence, and not for the sake of criticism itself.

The formation of such a circle of people will take some time, and at the first stage it is enough to communicate at least with those who are neutral in their assessments.

Actively deal with fears

Uncertainty is the fear of failure and failure. Fears will not go away on their own until you drive them away. The fight against fears must be active. If you are afraid to meet new people, step over yourself and do it. Accept the possibility of failure. Remember, you are just practicing.

Start the fight with small victories, and you yourself will not notice how you win the war.

Change your image

As they say, they are greeted by clothes. Appearance affects, first of all, yourself. By dressing stylishly, you will begin to notice that people's attitudes towards you will change. Stylish fashionable clothes do not mean at all that they cost fabulous money. You need to choose clothes that will suit you in style and colors. In the store, look not for a thing, but for yourself.

Your self-perceptions and reactions of people will fill you with positive and pride, and, accordingly, confidence in yourself, your actions and deeds.

Go in for sports

In addition to clothing, your posture and general physical shape play a big role in your appearance.

In an age when everyone hunches in front of computers at work during the day, and at home in the evening, a toned body and, especially, a straight back have become a rarity.

Sports will allow you to kill several birds with one stone. You will become slimmer, your body will be in good shape, sleep patterns will normalize. You will feel more attractive and gain self-confidence.

Always be positive

To a new image in clothes and a slender body, you can add another extremely important factor - a positive attitude.

Nobody likes negative people, they are avoided by everyone except the same negative ones. Avoid such closed circles of communication.

A positive attitude attracts people. A positive attitude is not a shirt guy, it is a person from whom you can get only positive thoughts and energies. If you are not verbose by nature, stay that way, it will not hurt the positive in any way.

Learn More

Uncertainty is the fear of not being able to handle a situation. Master new knowledge and skills that will allow you to be ready for everything that can await you in life and at work.

If you are afraid to speak in public, go to public speaking courses, where you can gain experience and the practice you lack in this jelly.

Look for inspiration to keep you going

Pick music that makes you act, kindles a fire inside. Throw out the melancholy melodies.

Read books (we recently wrote how), alternate classics with self-development books.

Self-development books are very helpful. Yes, it seems that everything that is written there is so clear. But they are not written to surprise you with something new, but to remind you of what you already knew.

As far as self-development books go, we would suggest starting with Dale Carnegie's books, preferably How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. If you have read it before, re-read it and refresh your thoughts and impressions.

Track progress

Try to track your progress in your struggle for self-confidence. This will allow you to notice positive dynamics. And if you notice that there are no changes at the front, do not despair, just think about what changes to make to your strategy.

P.S.

Accept yourself as you are right now! Love yourself, despite the fact that you have a lot of work ahead of you! Reward yourself for all achievements!

We wish you the best of luck on your journey of self-confidence!

Yes, this is an excellent quality that allows you to positively, but realistically evaluate yourself in any situation. As a rule, it is not given to a person from birth, but is brought up in oneself by scrupulous work. However, it is worth noting that self-confidence does not miraculously arise overnight. One desire for this is not enough, you have to work hard. Your goal is to understand that you are worthy of respect and love.

How to Gain Self-Confidence in 12 Steps

How to gain self-confidence quickly

Psychologists recommend doing sports or enrolling in a dance studio for this. The fact is that sport promotes the synthesis of hormones of happiness - endorphins, develops coordination of movements, grace, and positively affects the figure. Together, this contributes to self-esteem.

How to Gain Self-Confidence with Psychological Coaching

Now there are a lot of trainings for all occasions. We are also interested in personal growth trainings or even a banal pickup - they teach you how to effectively interact with others, accept yourself as you are, and look positively at the world.

How to gain confidence while playing

Popular now role-playing and are also an excellent simulator for such purposes. The ideal, perhaps, would be spontaneous theater: it teaches to show one's emotions, express oneself, behave in various, sometimes completely unpredictable life situations. Even the famous game "Mafia" teaches how to gain self-confidence, because within its framework a person tries on new roles and learns to be natural.

How to Gain Self-Confidence: Shock Therapy

If you are special enough, create stressful situations for yourself that force you to constantly be in the spotlight, interact with strangers. Soon this situation will become familiar to you.

Self-confidence is not a combination of some skills, but a state of mind that exists in each of us - you just need to discover it in yourself.